Fucking hell. No one told me that Leon's home brew is so dangerous. It should carry a warning from the surgeon general. It should be administered by a trained physician. I heard it's in talks to star in Lethal Weapon 6 with Mel Gibson. Add that to a disastrous friday incident involving sake on an empty stomach and this officially marks the first time ever that I'm starting to think about starting to think about starting to try to possibly drink just a little teensy bit less. This can be attributed to a stigmata that raised this morning approximately over where my liver is that spelled out "please stop drinking". That's normal, right?
To stop the groundswell of rumors and the boycott of La Fiesta that's going on right now, I'll clarify on my thursday night food poisoning and say that there are two possible culprits: the burrito of doom and the five or six year old beer that I accidentally drank about five swigs of on thursday.
Johnny sent me this link. I can't figure this out. Someone explain it to me.
Blind item: what local rocker/pretty boy might be moving into a haunted mansion? Indie list guys feel free to jump on me for this one.
Root canal review: so far, a B. Very little pain and it was quicker than a filling. The novocain has not worn off yet, however, and I'm scared. And I can't take tylenol because when I thought about it my liver raised another stigmata that spelled out "Oh God, not tylenol, anything but that."
this is why i got concerned when i saw charles swigging on one bottle of leon's brew while cracking open another. i've heard from other sources that charles had a late night also.
ReplyDeleteAll I wanna know is: did he grab anyone's dick?
ReplyDeletei hope so. charles?
ReplyDeletewell he didnt grab ahold of mine, but i saw him and suresh wrastling for a bit. Actually we had ablast when he showed up at my place, oh around 1130ish. We started by finishing the TWO homebrews that he brought with him. (which by the way, were fucking delicous, it was very "flower-y" i liked it) then we went to safeway and got a 30 pack of bud light. we packed up beers in pockets, bags, hands, and headed out. our first destination was southside park. we sat on the stage and looked at stars and the pond thing. Then we headed towards the darker part of town. we found a commune on t st and like6th, charles, tonya, and suresh walked down to the garden inside it and walked back. i stayed on the sidewalk cause im a little sissy. then we headed towards that new big building complex on qst with that giant glass salt shaker looking thing (it reminds me of something in a really fancy lego set.) This is when we did our first spelunking. We found a weak spot in the fence and climbed inside the construction site.we wandered around a bit. its surreal really. every where is dirt and metal and hundreds of spots where a little crew is working on something. but at this hour, its totaly abandoned. i was on artifact duty. on the surface level i found a clamp that i nabbed. awestruck at the salt shaker thing we noticed that you can go inside it. inside (oh by the way it has a weird moat around it) we found an almost finished staircase leading down. so of course we headed downstairs and this lead to the parking garage. it was strange but well lit so we wandered more. it was fun to give each other hand signals when the coast was clear, which was always, like we were an army team or somthing. in the parking garage there were more things laying around and i found a giant roll of foil duct tape. charles found a roll of blue tape and made black flag bars on the wall. we crossed the garage to the other end and found a hallway that spanned the perimiter of the garage, so we sneaked about in there. we hit the west end of the garage and found a door that had more stairs in it. so we went in deeper. downstairs we were sure we wereg oing to run into someone, like a guard, or dogs or someting, but it was totaly empty. as we descended the stairs there was a loud motor like noise, so we crept in and found giant generators and tubes and things like in a boiler room or somthing. we decided we have gone too deep at this point and that we should work on getting out, though charles the expert explorer that he is really wanted to reach the top of the structure, but i said we should save that for next time. charles is a stubborn cookie, but agreed. we headed up a ramp that cars would drive on and found a different weak spot in the outside secruity fence and escaped. once outside we headed back through southside park and across broadway and through the low income housing and over to the cemetary. charles said that a lot of poor people are buried on the side that faces the low income housing. we walked down the fencing til it became a wall and headed into a giant field with sprinklers going. so we ran through them and had a small war. it was like a giant battle in space, but with sprinklers. at this point we are all tired and drunk but continue on in our quest (charles quest) for "adventure" we walk back through the low income housing (there was a debate as to wether or not they were barracks or somthing) and got to broadway. someguy in the housing asked us "hey, you guys looking for someone?" and we got scared and just kept walking. we must've looked rather silly. once at broadway we headed down towards the channel 10 tower and turned down the street where we figured it was. we walked down too far and charles wanted to keep going, but i was way too drunk.tired to keep going so we turned around (again, reluctantly) and made it home. suresh said "i think im going to have a hangover in the morning" which pretty much summed up everything. ENDNOTES: 1) i also snagged a can of 3mm superadhesive 77. 2) charles knocked over my little garbage can with his bike as he left. 3)a bud light hangover is strange cause everyone says "its like drinking water" but i thought a hangover comes cause you dont have enogh water when you drink.. 4) i love sashimi and saki bombs. 5) this is my first post here. ok im done now.
ReplyDeleteWow. Thanks. Glad you guys didn't get jumped on your adventure.
ReplyDeleteYou know, Miller worked really hard to move into that mansion and just because some people think its haunted, doesn't mean it is. I think we all need to be thankful that more pretty boy/rockers are moving into mansions. I know if I see Miller on the street I'm going to pat him on the back and I'm also to try to dissuade bloggers like YOU from spreading rumors about this "haunted" BS.
ReplyDeleteBrew
I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all the blood. And the smell. Oh the smell! Though I will say that the mysterious rustling & moaning coming from the back of my closet is freaking me out. Oh wait, that's Steve.
ReplyDeleteP.B.R.
I'm so sorry if I offended anyone, especially any other pretty boy rockers. You're right, it is amazing that Miller has worked so fucking hard to get into this mansion. Not many people even bother to move into haunted mansions anymore. The whole scene full of pretty boy rockers just expect someone to hand them a free haunted mansion and then they complain that the line outside to get in is too long. I should have thought of that before I wrote that stupid blind item. I'm so fucking stupid. Again, sorry.
ReplyDeletewhat an evening! i think I am going to go back there right now.
ReplyDeleteCharles
ps not thevening, the place.
FYI, the two homebrews Charles brought with him were stolen.
ReplyDeletethat's right, invite Charles to your party and he'll bogart all the weed, ladies, brew, and apparently, fun.