Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Jew, not a Jew

I took the idea for this car game from the old SNL skit, "Jew, Not a Jew", which if I remember correctly was a fake game show where you guessed whether celebrities were Jewish. It's fun to try to stump people and speculate. Pretty soon it starts to seem like every single celebrity is Jewish. I only like to claim the good ones, though. Like Gene Simmons, I wish he was not a Jew. Here are some of the ones that were stumping us last night.

Gene Siskel=Jew
Roger Ebert=Not a Jew
I knew this one but I confirmed it today. Most people would probably guess that Ebert is the Jew.

Jason Alexander (George from Seinfeld). Yes. Changed his name from Jason Greenspan. Is he ashamed?

Jake Gyllenhall=foxy Jew.

I swore up and down and was ready to bet money that De Niro was at least part Jewish but this seems to not be the case. So sue me.

But the foxiest Jew of all? (besides Jesus of course) Elliot Gould. He is SO FINE I can't stand it. He and Barbra were the Jewish supercouple for the ages (besides Mary and Joseph of course). I am plotzing at how cute he was when he was young.

I played this game in the car with a group of people for about two hours coming back from Sonoma yesterday. Ben remarked that it seemed like we had been playing the game forever and I said that I've been playing this game for 30 years. The number one rule of a Jewish mother (well maybe number 2 behind using guilt as a weapon) is that she will point out Jewish celebrities to you.

20 comments:

  1. number #3 rule (I always thought it ws #1): Asking you if that new person you are dating is Jewish and then looking dissapointed....again.

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  2. Wait, Niki's not Jewish? But she's so funny, she must have some Jew in her (insert dirty joke here).

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  3. Anonymous2:50 PM

    This morning I googled to see if Jake Gyllenhaal was Jewish and found out that he is indeed (his mama) Sorry I doubted you, I knew that the Gyllenhaal name was Scandinavian because I previously believed it was Dutch.

    Anna

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  4. Anonymous3:40 PM

    Is Neil Diamond Jewish?

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  5. Jew. Please. Give me a harder one. Anyone whose last name is a gem or precious metal is Jewish.

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  6. Anonymous3:54 PM

    This sounds like the game of "Brothers Or Lovers" we used to play on public transportation when I lived in SF.

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  7. Anonymous3:55 PM

    Alicia Silverstone?

    Tess

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  8. Anonymous4:09 PM

    Father: Monty Silverstone; Jewish, British

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  9. Anonymous4:10 PM

    I saw Eliot Gould in NY outside some theater. He has a massive fucking head. Also, he was annoying in The Long Goodbye. wtf with the mumbling?

    David Lee Roth. Jew or not?

    -sac

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  10. Anonymous4:13 PM

    The Roth book talks a lot about being Jewish, on peyote with a midget, being Jewish, being in the Amazon, being Jewish....

    Tess

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  11. Anonymous4:20 PM

    ps. Thanks for reminding me to listen to some VH today...

    Tess

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  12. Gould was brilliant in "The Long Goodbye", probably his best work aside from "Bob, Carol...". His whole performance was like a slow sax solo.

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  13. I am the only one who has ever listened to it, besides perhaps Gould himself as he was recording it, but I recommend the DVD commentary on the mess of a movie "Little Murders". Gould drops such gems as "that was my own shirt that I was wearing in that scene, I think those pants may be mine, too". He also tells a semi-pointless name-dropping anecdote about meeting with Jean-Luc Godard to discuss whether he would direct "Little Murders" (which was basically an Elliot Gould vanity project) in which he quotes Godard as saying, "when my wife and child ask me to tell them I love them, I tell them to go fuck themselves". Gould also talks about how hot he was at the box office that year (71). He was the biggest box office draw IN THE WORLD at that time. More proof that the seventies were a golden era.

    He was brilliant in The Long Goodbye, although I fell asleep 67 times while watching that movie. I have Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice at the top of my queue right now. Two words: chest hair. Bring it back. It's been gone too long.

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  14. Me and Gould are leading the vanguard on that front.

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  15. Anonymous7:03 PM

    As I sit here ticking off the long boring evening hours of the library I am reading Library Journal and here is Becky's book of the day, "King of the Jews" by
    Nick Toches. Its about Arnold Epstein repuutedly the inspriation for Meyer in the great gatsby and Nathan detroit in guys and dolls.

    -head

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  16. Here's a good one (maybe)

    Ringo Starr

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  17. I'm having a hard time with this one because the only web sites I can find that say he's Jewish are the Anti-Semitic ones. Looking at these sites is giving me a headache. I would be stoked if there really was a Jewish Beatle.

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  18. I can only find some evidence on a "famouse Catholics" website: (http://tm.wc.ask.com/r?t=c&s=a&id=30787&sv=za5cb0d71&uid=053AF10AF61F99B24&sid=1145720AF61F99B24&p=%2ftop&o=10234&u=http://www.campbellcounty.com/~ourlady/Famous%20Catholics.htm):

    3 out of 4 "Beatles" - John, Paul, & George (Ringo Starr is Jewish)

    "Jewish Book Mall" (http://www.jewishbookmall.com/shop/asinsearch_6305198373.html)
    carries "VH1 Storytellers: Ringo Starr"

    isn't that proof enough?!?!

    I Swear Ringo himself says something about being Jewish during one part of the Beatles anthology DVD.

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  19. Hey Becks, did you know that Elliott Gould once starred in a Bergman film with Max Von Sydow and Bibi Andersson? It was called "The Touch" and was considered something of a disaster...not on Netflix, unfortunately.

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  20. Yeah, I just read that today. I hope Netflix gets that eventually.

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