In the spirit of taking the piss out of the Bee (why does English slang always sound wrong when I use it?),
here's a scintillating piece of investigative journalism. Oh my god, I just read the comments and I'm dying! So funny. I love how it veers from hilarious potshots at the Kings to serious whistling fans.
I hear that next week they have a hard-hitting story about the mysterious decline of little boys with slingshots in their back pockets.
ReplyDelete-miller
From the comments, my favorite:
ReplyDeleteWhistling hasn't gone out of style here in Modesto. My husband whistles all the time... he uses the the roof method. I find men whistling at flea markets, grocery stores, and at the Ymca. They are whistling softly to themselves.
Damn, I was wondering why I've had a lifelong natural aversion to Mo-Town and the rest of Stanislaus County, and this here comment nails it! Is there a special circle in hell reserved for people who whistle in public? If not, perhaps there should be.
As for the Maloofs, I think they should fire Musselman and hire Mr. Maalouf at that restaurant on Fulton Avenue to whip that team into shape ("No appetizers until you start rebounding! Go to the locker room!"), and maybe they can add falafel and tabouleh to the menu at Arco. (Although the resulting Bee article about what goes into those tasty new snacks at the home of the Kings might be pretty interminable.)
The heading "Hip-hop whistlers rare" made me smile. What about beat-boxing? Isn't that the rapper's whistle?
ReplyDeleteAlthough I'll say this about the whistling decline: I've always considered my inability to do the loud whistle, where you stick you fingers in your mouth, like Gavin is doing in the bottom photo of the article, as a shameful sign of my hopelesly type B personality.
but can you make an armpit fart? will the bee make this a series and write an article on armpit farts? are kids still making them? or are they just listening to recorded ones on their ipods? speaking of recorded armpit farts, three seconds before i passed out on saturday night i turned on the tv and was confused to see afi on snl. this is the same band that used to be called afi, right? also-could the devil himself invent a worse combination for snl than jeremy piven and afi?
ReplyDeleteSame AFI!
ReplyDeleteSomehow I always knew those guys were tools.
Nar played with AFI at their first show in lovely Lakeport. They were such a generic hardcore band at the time that I always figure it's a different band - but it's the same AFI.
ReplyDelete-miller
Speaking of Piven, this dining-related news item:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.gothamist.com/2007/04/04/piven_peevs_off_nobu.php
... seems to confirm my suspicion that he's prolly an insufferable jerk in person, despite his knack for inducing yuks on the small screen.
That Lakeport gig was AFI's first show?
ReplyDeleteWow..... But what if "Near-Death-Experience" had made it instead? Would all the punks be wearing Seahawks jerseys?
Is that the most obscure joke ever??? Possibly.
NEAR.... DEATH... EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!
WWWHHHUUUUUAAAARRRRGGHH!!!!!!!!!
-----Whaus
I have never understood what people have against whistling in public. What is so horrible about seeing a guy enjoying the day? Doesn't make much sense.
ReplyDeleteIt makes sense that Jackson would hate whistling though. A music critic who doesn't like most music. Figures.
It makes sense that Jackson would hate whistling though. A music critic who doesn't like most music. Figures.
ReplyDeleteOh, blow me. Or at least have the viscera to sign your own name to your post, Mr./Ms. Anonymous Chickenshit.
For the record, I love a lot of music. More often than not, really. It's just that public whistling is right up there with smooth jazz, clown paintings and poetry slams on my list of stuff that gives me the heebie-jeebies. Your list, of course, may differ. And that's fine with me. Whoever you are.
Actually Jackson just hates everything positive in the world, not just good music or intelligent women!
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of freak gets pissed off in a grocery line, because a kid is humming along to a pop song (Tin Man)playing as ambient music or wastes time writing about hating whistling or the millions of other petty things Jackson hates.
The dude is carrying around a lot of hatred and pent up anger, because his dad abandoned his family when he was just a kid. Now Jackson just lashes out at everything and everyone...music, women, whistling, happiness
1. People that whistle are happy. 2. Jackson isn't a happy camper. Ergo, Jackson hates whistlers...
As for the other commenter being a "chickenshit." She just knows how petty and filled with angst you are are with your gossip to others and your weekly flame... I mean column. Your hatred of most positive things and disrespect for women is evident to any of us that know you.