lates

see y'all on monday!

saving you some time

Are you like me? Has it been awhile since you checked Sac's CL rants and raves because it's just too stupid for words. Well, I'll save the time of checking it again and just link to the quintessential post.

this one is funny because he invents some words like stagly and stroe

ewww!!

Most disturbing thing I have ever read in the News and Review, hands down.

golly gee

Napkin Nights has a top 300 pictures in 2005 page, and from a cursory glance before hurriedly shutting the window, they are all booby pictures!! I'll have to investigate this more at home. Or at a home with a computer.

who's the poor man?

I was supposed to go to Birriera Bugambilias last night but I beaned myself out over the last couple of days (let me recommend making vegetarian chili with soyrizo, it's quite good) and changed the plans to Nishiki so I can't write a new review. However, Nishiki outdid itself last night, with a great server, above average zig zag roll (which I get every fucking time and the quality really varies but I always hope it will be a good one) and free sake bombs for all. I have tomorrow off, so I may make a visit to La Bonne Soupe Cafe (or however you spell it) tomorrow because people keep recommending it to me.

As I mentioned, I have tomorrow off, so I will shill the Four Eyes/Losin' Streaks show on saturday today. It is at Delta of Venus with their bro band, Boss the Big Biz. BTBB will probably play for four or five hours, and the Losin' Streaks usually play for awhile so I would recommend bringing some crystal meth to stay awake during the show. I know this will sound mean, but I was checking out the website of the Japanese band te who are playing at the Red Square tonight and the song that they have playing on their myspace is such a distillation of the kind of band sound that I hate that it was funny to me.

The Fly is such an awesome movie. It holds up for me every time. Jeff Goldblum is so good in it! And I love the combo of extreme gore and pathos. It brought to mind a question for me that perhaps DB can answer. Is Geena Davis the poor mans Sigourney Weaver or vice versa? And is there a poor mans Goldblum? I would like to nominate the guy that plays Geena's ex (Stathis Borans is the character's silly name) as the poor mans Martin Mull, which is a poor man indeed. Incidentally, this is the only guy to reprise his role in the loathsome Fly II, which has an Imdb review with the heading "not exactly good, but not nearly as bad as it COULD have been.
Here's a creepy German (of course) Cronenberg fansite.

hope this doesn't embarrass heckamax...

Robert Plan's chest glory
Originally uploaded by riblet.

but I was just looking at niki's blog and random flickr photos of hers come up on the left and I just had to blog this one again. It's too good not to!

B&S&R&M

I've been scouring the internet for blog posts/reviews of the B & S/Rose Melberg show so you don't have to (that's a joke, I'm bored, so bored I've been reading the Dr. Phil message boards) and have only found two so far. They both mention how the crowd was really loud and talkative during her set but that she sounded good. She has a new song up on her website that I like. Her album still doesn't come out for almost a month. I was checking her myspace (so you don't have to) and here's a comment that stood out. I think it's a bit creepy, frankly. And how do you softly stare?

listening to you is like taking a polaroid and softly staring at it for hours. your music is always the perfect fit...

wtffuwt?!

DB at the Barnesyard printed his very first what the fucking fuck's up with that and it is great! He didn't print mine because I misunderstood and didn't get that it should be movie related. Duh. Here's mine:

Why the fuck does Petrovich feel the need to pollute S st. by building another fucking Rite-Aid in an area that has like fifty fucking pharmacies in one fucking square mile (that would be at S and 21st)? What the fucking fuck's up with that?! AAAAHHHH!!!

I should probably send that one to Heyamoto, substituting *&%##@ for fuck.

left behind?

Paragary takes a stand against TVs in his restaurants. That's rad. I agree. I think TVs should be confined to sportsbars. And some sushi places.

Did anybody catch the recent New York Times front page story about no child left behind that had content about and pictures from MLK high school in Sac? It's about how some schools are cutting back to teaching exclusively math and reading so that kids can pass those no child left behind standardized tests. That is so sad. High school is boring enough. Can you imagine it with only two subjects? I understand the thinking behind it, because we shouldn't be graduating kids who can't read very well, and I know some of you math people will object, but I honestly don't use math much in my everyday life (even working in a lab), and I use my science, geography, social studies, history knowledge (what little of it I can remember) way more frequently. I think there is too much emphasis on math with these tests. And in general, it just seems like a fucked up system.

Oh man, Bravo closed down?

netflix help

Are you bad at picking movies for you netflix queue? I know I am. If you need some help, visit the website of the Criterion Collection. They put out some of the best, most interesting movies, and they always do a great job with the extra features. I just got my queue up to 25 movies just by picking from here.

brew for you

Another brew article for smiller and my other brew-loving readers.

least sac in sac

I would like to officially nominate Joey B's as least Sac place in downtown Sac. Or, alternately, the news and review could give it an award for best place to go downtown if you want to feel like you are in the suburbs. But, it's still a pretty good place to watch the Kings make a large sucking noise. We saw a wasted guy puke a little bit of a mixed drink on the floor and then play it off like nothing happened and then within a few minutes he had probably forgotten that anything happened. Voila!

Last night the Megacools played at the Red Square and DeathMatch made their debut as a band, but I didn't go. I'd like to hear how it went.

nytimes wine blog is cool

this is right up smiller's alley I'll resist putting heh heh after that. Slopdawgjr. might appreciate it too. Hey remember when all three of us were at spuyten duyvil in real reality? Those were the days.

uptown

There is a charming review of the Uptown Cafe on chowhound. Smiller and I were just discussing that place. I'll have to go there sometime soon now that I know there is a good route on the bike trail. I always liked going to breakfast there, and it seems like a good way to beat the downtown breakfast crowds. On second thought, I remember a few sundays when we headed out there before recalling that it's closed on sunday, so keep that in mind if you're going to go. I haven't gone in years, has anyone been lately?

WTF?!?!

I have submitted my first question to What the fucking fuck's up with that? (TM) so lets hope that DB answers it in a more timely fashion than Heyamoto did. JK, LH.

I'm Swede on the Swedes

Michael Haneke is such a master! Thanks to Dani for recommending Code Unknown. I still think Cache takes this theme a step farther but I really enjoyed Code Unknown. I'm sure this isn't the first time it's garnered this comparison (in fact someone said this on the imdb board), but it really does put Oscar stealer Crash to shame. It's a much more subtle exploration of race and class. And then I looked up Haneke and saw that he also directed the Piano Teacher, one of the gnarliest and most thought-provoking movies I have seen in years. I was so intrigued by the Piano Teacher that I later read the book, and it sucked. I have even more admiration for someone who can take a crappy book and turn it into a good movie. And Haneke adapted it from the novel! Genius!

I also watched Together recently (thanks to a loan from J. Greenburg, who doesn't want me to be so down on Moodysson). While ultimately heart-warming and enjoyable, I'm surprised this filmarker has gotten so much praise, especially from the likes of Bergman. It's crazy to compare this to grimness of Liliya 4-ever or the violent pornography of A Hole In My Heart, but this movie does have a strong misanthropic streak running beneath its cute exterior. But I did like it. I love the Swedes, what can I say?

David Cronenburg was recently on Fresh Air and the interview reminded me of why I like him so much. I netflixed the Fly to watch again soon. And I'll go ahead and take a controversial position that his Crash was better than the Oscar winner! I looked it up on imdb as I was writing this and it sure is an unloved film!! And this from a database where fucking Forrest Gump gets like 29 stars from people. Even the viewer review is bad.

Chanterelle a "winner"?

I've always wondered about Chanterelle. It's one of those old-school Sac places that no one ever talks about. Dunne gave it as close to a bad review as he ever gives, although the headline declared that "dinner's the winner" pretty much contrary to what the review says. He gave it 2.5 starts, I guess out of 4, which also seems a little high when you read the review. And sorry Dunne, but hollandaise sauce can't be "blithe". Are you saying that the sauce was carefree and lighthearted? Oh to be a hollandaise sauce in these troubled times!

the fighting mitten crabs

The UC Davis network got hacked or something so I haven't had internet access all day. This is a hardship I can bore my grandchildren with...I remember the time, back before the internet was hard-wired into our brains, when I once didn't have the internet for five straight hours, kids.

Someone got killed on 4th and U this weekend. A little too close for comfort.

Some indie hipster got her question printed in what's up with that this week. Can 58 people really have come up independently with that nonsensical name? I smell a conspiracy.

Did you guys know you can take the bike trail right to Thrift Town in Del Paso Heights? Actually, according to the signs on the bike trail it is in a neighborhood called "noralco" which I have never heard of. This officially makes it the only good thrift store that you can pleasantly bike too (and yes, I am unincluding the salvation army on 16th, I said a GOOD thrift store). Deseret on Auburn is off the hood right now with ladies fashions (I meant to say off the hook but I'll leave it because it looks like I invented some new slang) . Or maybe I just dress like an old Mormon lady from the 80's. But it has TONS of vintage button-up shirts.

I went to a party this weekend. I haven't printed a party review in a while. That reminds me I need to do an interview soon, too. Party review:

Tibbs the cat was the stand out element that put this party over the top. He french kissed me in a way that I might not have allowed if my inhibitions hadn't been lowered by the wine, and he let me scratch in between his toes. Olsen and Biz and I discussed the comics, including the glacial pace of Mark Trail. Will the evil developers build that road through the pristine forest? Tune in from now until next summer and you may find out. Then I hit the intoxication level where I am not good to talk to at all but luckily Tibbs was there for me. Around one I was all like "I'm out" and everyone was all like "lates". Good party. There have now been parties in Sac two weekends in a row. Someone should have another one this weekend!

It sounds like the Whysp show at Fool's last night was great but I crapped out too early to go. I also missed the festivites at the Kabinet.

wish i knew how to configure my blog to include this in my profile

but i don't. And if someone tells me I probably won't understand. Thanks to niki for the picture.

let's see if this works

stupid rich people

Can I rant for just a second here? So it looks like I'm not going out of town this weekend due to stupid mother nature. That means that there are a couple of events at Mondavi that I would love to attend coming up. One is a string quartet playing Mozart on sunday. Oh, but wait it's 36 dollars. If you're a student it's 18 but when I inquired around here about scamming that I learned you have to present your student I.D. at the door. On monday the Russian national orchestra is playing some interesting selections (not that I know jack shit about classical) but that particular event costs 49 fucking dollars for the cheapest seats. I know I shouldn't be surprised at these prices because classical music is for rich people after all, but I think that sucks!! I think that UCD staff should get a break on the prices, too. I wonder if every show sells out so that they know they can charge as much as they want? I bet the staff are just as poor as the spoiled little students.

And speaking of stupid rich people, Mayor Fargo is delivering her state of the city address to a bunch of 'em tonight.

Maybe I can make it to the Kabinet for the Jodorowsky double feature, but violence really isn't my thing. Sex, great, but extreme violence makes me queasy.

I accidentally formatted these pics like this, but i'm going to leave it

A google search of the two names turned up little except an mtv.com interview with lindsay in which she said her crushes were johnny depp and devendra banhart so let me be the first to spread the possibly false gossip on the internet that I heard that these two are hooking up (her and banhart, not her and depp). Does this mean she's going to write something about how she's mad in the comments?

wow

Look at all these KDVS shows this spring.

Th' Losin Streaks/The Four Eyes/Boss the Big Bit- April 1st
Ettirck/Eddie the Rat/Oaxacan- April 2nd
Anterland/Snowdrift- April 8th
Field Notes/Tom Carter+Joel Pickard/Nick Castro/Birch Book- April 9th
Sholi/Citizens Here and Abroad/Scissors For Lefty- April 15th
Kimya Dawson- April 21st
Parts and Labor- April 25th
The Magic Carpathians (Poland)- April 29th
Half Handed Cloud- May 1st
Geoff Berner- May 5th
Jason Webley/Hillstomp- May 11th
Tin Cup Serenade/The Speakers- May 13th
The Robot Ate Me- May 25th
The Country Teasers (Scotland)- May 27th
Watusi Zombie (Japan)- May 28th
The Gris Gris/Sholi/ Waxfore- June 3rd
Sharon Kraus/James Blackwell/Sean Smith- June 9th
Green Milk from the Planet Orange/Assemble Head...- June 11th

Exciting. And I just heard about some restaurant with the crazy name of Birriera Bugambilias on 7242 Franklin from R.E. on the DIY list. I want to go! Does anyone know what that name means?

records strikes back

In case you blinked and missed it, lovable mop-top Jamie from records on K had a good letter printed in last week's news and review in response to their article on record store clerks. Here is is:

Where are the indie clerks?
Re “Clerks” by Noel Neuburger (SN&R Feature Story, March 2):
Just felt compelled to vent my displeasure regarding SN&R’s “Clerks” article.
I’m writing because I’m baffled that we at Records, at Seventh and K streets, were never contacted to partake. This shop has served downtown Sacramento for over 30 years and boasts the largest selection of vinyl and music memorabilia in the area. Our logo was personally designed by Robert Crumb. We were featured in the hip-hop documentary Scratch, and our interior graced the cover of DJ Shadow’s Endtroducing album. Our staff includes local musicians, DJs and promoters, and the event coordinator for KDVS, as well as some of the most knowledgeable music fanatics and collectors in town.
Yet, we remain unacknowledged.
This also comes at a time when the business is being threatened by the current K Street redevelopment plan. We are a completely independent, family-owned and -operated business that has survived since the early ’70s. I feel as though we would have been the most qualified and deserving choice to feature.
Instead, you chose businesses, like Tower Records, that only serve to sell whatever status-quo flavors happen to be hip for the minute. The article suffered from regurgitated clichés as opposed to offering opinions from “individuals” who actually live their lives with music at the forefront.
Jamie Smith
Sacramento

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

The nytimes has declared that beards are in style! At least now that it's been in the Times, the trend will be offically uncool

Bee roundup

This is crazy. I was really disturbed when I heard about this local rape case, and now it seems like they're saying the woman participated in making a porno consensually? I wonder. And how could a consensual act also be "one of the most brutal cases" that the cops had ever investigated?

Heyamoto's still doing it. And not showing any signs that she's going to stop.

This local pastry chef may be a good reason to try the desserts at Mulvaneys when I go. It says she lives above an Asian market downtown. I wonder if she's my neighbor?

I think it's stupid for the Bee to devote this much space to an article about a chain. He reviewed two separate Ruth's Chris's Ruths' steak's house's. That's excessive.

The way Egyptians get rid of all that zucchini!

Next time you are in the mission and you want something other than the usual gutbomb at taqueria cancun, try out a fabulous place called Mi Lindo Yucatan (410 Valencia St. near 15th Street), . From my first exposure to Yucatan cuisine, I gather that it uses a lot less cheese and lard than a typical Mexican restaurant in the states, and it emphasizes different ingredients, such as pumpkin seeds, spinach, oranges, and mostly turkey instead of chicken. We got a salad with mandarin oranges, mesclun, and a feta-like cheese that could have been served in any of my favorite yuppie haunts. And their chicken tamale appetizer was the best tamale I've ever had. It was really soft, like corn and chicken pudding! My favorite kind of puddin'.

And on another food note, those of you that like to cook might enjoy this recipe website. I'm making a spicy yogurt sauce that I got under the north african section. He even has a whole Armenian recipe section! With an Armenian pizza (lahmajoon) that has (surprise) lamb on it. He has really funny disclaimers next to the recipes like: Only in the Middle East would they use these together! and The way Egyptians get rid of all that zucchini! (I was unaware there was a zucchini glut in Egypt) or my favorite: The meat falls off the bone!

Art Brut!

I cannot find a picture on the web that captures Eddie Argos' (Art Brut guy)pudgy brand of fine. I did discover from looking at older photos that the pudge is new, but it somehow balances out the eyebrows so I like it. That sucks about Belle and Sebastian. I even thought the Greek theater was too large of a venue. The only good show I've seen by them was the Warfield. At some point I decided that I am too spoiled by small shows to ever enjoy a show with more than 1000 people there ever again, doesn't matter who it is. So I'll wait till Belle and Sebastian plays at fools.

Leon: philanthropist, beer lover

Way to go, Leon!

Leon will also appreciate this, I think. If you are obsessed with the new Belle and Sebastian album, as all of Sacramento is, and you want more Belle and Sebastian. First: listen to the NPR fresh air with Stuart. If you have done that and you still want more of these twee charmers, go to the B and S website Q and A page. The Belle and Sebastian show is tonight in SF but I am going to see Art Brut there instead. And, in a Sac-related B and S note, Sac's own Rose Melberg has scored the opening slot at their Vancouver show!

peep off is on

I'm totally busy today. It sucks. Here's a press release regarding the 2006 peep-off:

Alrighty then,
This years Peep Off will be held on Sunday, April 23rd. NOT SATURDAY the 22nd. I'm performing a wedding on Saturday. Old Man Foster and LivMoe won't get hitched at the Peep Off because OMF doesn't have a tin foil suit. And everyone knows that to get married at the Peep Off you need a tin foil suit. Once again, there's been more rumors of someone coming out to film it. Who knows, but be prepared. If you think they'll use their camera to steal your soul, you're right. So sell your soul to the Devil so you can beat Dennis Gross' record of 102. In a peepshell, it's at my house in lovely midtown Sacramento (basically 19th & Capitol). Bring a diorama and a costume or something. Send out this email to whomever -- there's a ton of people on the Peep Off list that I don't know. I'll start it at 2pm (which means 3pm), but I'll have the BBQ going at 2pm. With a bit of luck, I will get an armadillo that Skipper said he'd BBQ. No joke. Beckysac heard a rumor you can buy them ready to cook in San Francisco! The best thing is, 5% of armadillos carry leprosy. I'm already laughing. This isn't a joke, by the way. As Cecil Adams says, "Fewer than 5 percent of wild armadillos have it, though I grant you that 5 percent of 30 to 50 million is a lot of armadillos". http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a990219.html Please remember that I won't talk to media within a 2 hour radius of Sacramento. I don't want a bunch of jerks showing up and I'm not going to get a permit for Peep Eating Gluttony. Without the element of peep riots, arrests and leprosy, what's the point of eating sugar coated marshmallow goodness? In this, Our Post 9/11 Days, who's to say what's "right" and what's "wrong"? Diabetes never hurt anyone but police batons leave an ouchie. There's more of the same nonsense at: http://nokilli.com/peeps Make sure you take a good look at this one, too: http://www.nokilli.com/food/peep_warning.htm The peep_warning.htm page is safe for work, but it clicking the link leads to "Ack!". For women, it can also lead to a nasty yeast infection. --Archbishop Dave uh... "Smith"

Hey Dave, the armadillo was spotted at SF Market on 65th and Stockton, not in SF. It's right here in Sac.

Fargo gloats

I'm busy and I shouldn't really take the time to post, but this article from the Bee yesterday was so maddening I had to mention it. The mayor is gloating about how much money they're going to be giving away for various doomed projects. How about money for small projects? How about helping SMALL local business. Right now on my street, on the stretch of T between 11th and 12th, Mom Guess What has either gone out of business or moved, and so did a small market, so what about the urban blight on my street? How about a grant for some small business owner or artist or something there? What about a grant for the Kabinet?! Where's the money for this stuff? You could do countless small projects with that same money or like 2 giant handouts to developers.

The Kabinet!!

The Kabinet is great! It was exciting to roll up and see a small, varied crew of film lovers. They have a cute little space with a cloth screen that they project DVDs on, and right now the walls are covered with 500 poems from the poems for all series that Richard Hansen has published.. For three bucks you get admission, some Charles Shaw or juice, and popcorn. And you can bring your own brew or wine if you want! There was something very fun about watching a movie in public and drinking an Anchor Steam. J. Greenberg spoke a bit about the movie before and after. It was really experimental, but I like my experimental film to include cute Czech girls in bikinis, so I was happy. This next sunday they are having a crazy double feature that starts early (at seven). I'm bummed cuz I don't think I can go, but they are having two films from the director of El Topo, with tarot card readings and other kinds of tomfoolery between films. Here's J.'s description:

But be warned: these aren't films for the faint of heart. Violence, nudity, and various bodily functions are the rule, rather than the exception. So no hard feelings if you feel these films might not be your cup of tea. But Jodorowsky's intention is less to shock than to SHAKE: to use the power of cinema to rouse people from their slumber and get them thinking about where we're at, how we got here, and where we're headed next. If anything, his films feel even more relevant today than they did when they were made some 30 or 40 years ago. He's a true cinematic savant, and this is sure to be a night to remember...

And speaking of violence and nudity, there is a locally produced film called Palace of Stains premiering at the Crest this friday night. The trailer was NSFW, but I braved it anyway and glimpsed some local folks, including ol' KLJ.

Way to go C.K.!!

A solid 7.4 on the 'fork. I don't believe he is playing with Shannon Krauss anytime soon in Cali, but she has a show accompanied by someone else in Davis on June 9th

haps at the Kab

I am reallyreally going to try to make it to the Kabinet to see the movie this sunday. Here's the description:

Daisies
Vera Chytilova, 1966
Two young women without vocation or moral compass wreak havoc across Prague in Vera Chitylova's groundbreaking experimental feature. The hair-thin storyline -- involving casual seductions and careless destruction of property -- provides the perfect excuse to engage in cinematic trickery, brilliant color schemes, visual puns...and just the sort of behavior your parents always warned you against. This is experimental cinema with a wicked sense of humor -- and unforgettable imagery: butterflies, apples, rainbow train tracks, chandeliers, and milk baths. For all you cinephiles: think of this as the Bizarro-world version of Celine and Julie Go Boating -- but at less than half the running time

Other notable upcoming movies are Thieves Like Us (yay!!) and Two Lane Blacktop, which has Dennis Wilson in it. Smiller, it would be great if you could give out your Dennis Miller comp at this event, but I know you probably won't have time to compile it before April 16th due to our plans for SPRING BREAK 2006! WOOH! MAZATLAN! SENOR FROG'S!! WOOH!

Review of Spataro's:

#1-first things first-please don't even tell me that you only offer one sparkling wine by the glass and that it is a nasty prosecco that tastes like Marinelli's sparkling cider. I'm not even trying to hear that.

That complaint out of the way, my other glass of wine was an Italian varietal I had never heard of called soave and the glass I had was scrump. Very flowery but not very sweet. Also it was rad that when I asked about it our server brought me a taste so I could decide.

The place was packed to the gills with suits at eight on a wednesday. This place is obviously doing well. It was OK inside, not as flashy as Masons but more cozy with lower ceilings, lots of light wood, and dim lighting.

They brought us bread to start and one of the two types of bread was a harbinger of the salty, salty food to come. It was a good focaccia that was crusted with rosemary and sea salt. Tasty, but too salty. There isn't a current menu online so that you can see what I mean, but the menu we got was pretty brief and none too appealing. I struggled to find an appetizer or salad that I wanted. I settled on saltcod fritters just out of nostalgia for the nasty bacalhau in Portugal. There were three fritters which resembled hush puppies. They came with a "garlic sauce" which seemed mayo-ey and not garlicky. The fritters packed a salt wallop but were tasty. By this time I was salted out and sucking down the white wine (water is sooo boring to drink). Scott liked his beet salad but come on, does every fucking restaurant have to have a beet and cheese salad now? Can't they do something creative with the beets? I ordered linguine con vongole (linguine with clams). The clams weren't very tasty. They were spongy and bland. The sauce was just an olive oil sauce with way too much undercooked garlic and (you guessed it) salt! Scott got spaghetti carbonara and it was a standard, heavy version of that dish.

The fish selections on the menu sounded more ambitious and may be better than the pasta but I wasn't about to risk spending that much money unless they could do basic pasta well, so I'm not sure about that. I probably won't go back. We were lucky that a big chunk of this check went on gift cards or I would have been bummed on how much I spent. I heard that a chef or two left recently, and when Scott ate there before he liked it better, so maybe the quality has gone down. Overall, a bust but at least I discovered soave veneto!

You can always tell an Irishman, but you can't tell him much

You guys went crazy with the comments. I don't know where I would fit into the western. I can't picture myself in a gold rush setting. My relatives were still peasants in Russia and Ireland, respectively. Speaking of Ireland, Happy St. Patty's Day!!
I am drunk already, of course in salute to my forebears.

I have a new email address for heckasac related business so I can preserve my elitist anonymity. I heard Heyamoto is trying to track me down. My address is: heckasac@yahoo.com.

I will post a Spataro review and other stuff later. I wasted too much time reading the comments and need to get to work.

we're a goin' to a hukilau

Nothing too exciting going on in these parts. Two bits of news that I've heard. One thing is about the new GM at the Tower theater. This is a real surprise but I don't want to spill the beans unless he's going to step forward himself and tell because I'm not sure if it's supposed to be general knowledge. The other is that the Loft is closing for band practice for good. As Davey said, "no more loft smell". Sad. I hope the four eyes can still continue their christmas show tradition. If not, please don't tell Scott because I worry that he will hurt himself. What are the bands going to do? I'm not sure who still practices there besides Rock the Light and the Four Eyes.

I'm eating at Spataro tonight, which I'm pretty excited about. I'm getting a discount from taking care of my roomates boyfriend's cat if that makes any sense. I was walking by Hukilau last night and it was somewhat crowded. What is the deal with that place? I don't get why there are any hawaiian restaurants in town (there are two downtown if you count L and L). They're not exactly known for their cuisine. Poi is like the only thing they made up. Other than that there's roast pig (OK, that one's pretty good but hardly unique) and a love of spam. How can you base a restaurant on that? I'm curious about Hukilau, though. I want to try it just so I can write a review.

ballet russes

babyballerinas
Originally uploaded by becklerg.

Ballet Russes (playing at the Crest) is great! Go see it! The old people in it are very inspiring. And all the old pictures and footage are rad. It seems like peoples faces just used to be more interesting in those days. Like everyone is getting blander and blander with all this good nutrition we have these days or something.

Stagecoach review

I've mentioned the Stagecoach before but I wanted to give it a full review because it is surely worth it. The Stagecoach is open 7 days a week from early morning until 3pm. It has a western theme inside, similar to Trails but nicer. This place is homey as hell. Everyone there acts like family, patrons and workers, and the decor is given the personal touch with family photos and hand-drawn John Wayne pictures. The story of the family that opened it is on the voluminous menu. The menu is diner food crossed with southern soul food. There are tons of daily specials and homemade soups every day. I don't go there as often as I would probably like and I always order the same thing-club sandwich with fries. I know, that's boring but the sandwich is so fucking good! Scott will back me up that it's the best club sandwich in town. It comes with fries (great fries) and an iceberg salad drowning in blue cheese for 7.75. Smiller got the breakfast of breaded, fried trout (you could choose from two types of breadings), three eggs, home fries, and toast. I tried the trout and it was really good and the tartar sauce was a standout. I'll warn you, this place is packed on sundays with a post-church crowd, although the staff is smiling and efficient so that's not really a problem. This place rules, basically! Although I blame it for packing on a couple of pounds this weekend. Or could it have been the dim sum breakfast? Or the cookie bake-off. Hard to say.

Oh yeah, I dont' know why, but there's another stagecoach in Elk Grove. Heckamax, you should try it!

delicious pups in the tub

I know you all have been eagerly anticipating my cookie recipe. How do I know that? Because I have an inflated view of my own importance and I think you all hang on my every word. Here's the recipe. My mom calls them "nut crescents" but I made them round so I just call them "pups in the tub". If you're into porn you might get that joke.

Mix one cup butter (2 sticks, softened, or you will sprain your wrist) with a half cup of sugar. Add a tsp of salt, a teaspoon of almond extract, and 2 cups of flour. Last, add 3/4 of a cup of finely chopped pecans. I grind mine in a coffee grinder. Chill the dough for a bit. Bake on 325 for 15-20 minutes until the bottom is brown. They are good slightly underdone and doughy or slightly brown and crispy. Make sure you put the full amount of salt, because the salty edge is what makes them addictive. Oh yeah, and dust with powdered sugar when cool. This step is also important because the cookies are not that sweet. I did not sample many cookies at the bake-off because I had filled up on my own cookies. I gave my cookie bag out at the Knock Knock show because the doctor has warned me that my cookie level is dangerously high. It's amazing how suspicious people are of someone giving out cookies. That reminds me of the story of a friend who scarfed down some cookies a roommate had left out on the counter that turned out to be super strong pot cookies. He figured that out at the emergency room.

epic weekend

tobyvail
Originally uploaded by becklerg.

I just found out that I booked my trip to Mazatlan during not just the biggest week of spring break but also during Semana Santa, when many Mexican families go on vacation to the coast. This is not the best news I have ever heard, needless to say. But at least I can PARTY DOWN AT SENOR FROGS!!! WOOH SPRING BREAK 2006 WOOH!

This weekend was epic, mostly because it started for me on thursday night. So much happened it was insane. I need a weekend to recover from my weekend, if you know what I mean.

Highlights:

-Walked around North Beach, saw Jonathan Richman chilling at Cafe Trieste
-Spider and the Webs were great at thee parkside. Toby Vail is a rad frontwoman. EZ we didn't say hi to your friend but he was cracking me up. And Bongo Randy was the funniest thing ever at that moment. The show was pretty sparsely attended, which was surprising. It made me think that all those old riot grrls are too square to go to shows now or something. It was totally Oly style still. They even had real photocopied zines.
-The bananas seriously ripped it up at the show on friday. So fun! And even though I had never heard Captain Nines I really enjoyed them and can see why they're still remembered in Sac. I didn't catch that they had a CD for sale but I'd like to get it.
-Knock Knock was great on saturday and it was exactly the mellow kind of night I needed. Yuck. I really hate the word mellow
-Two big boxes of various kinds of dim sum from Cheung Hing for saturday breakfast. Thanks to Ella I tried some new kinds which were fucking great. I can't believe how good that place is.
-And another delicious meal at Pho Bac Hoa Viet in which I tried a piece of Ella's tendon (OK it was a cow's tendon, not Ella's). It was not as gross as I thought it would be and just tasted like fat.
-I won the cookie bake-off! I will post my recipe later. It's so simple that I have it memorized.

A low light was that last night I decided that it would be a good idea to watch Red Dragon alone in my apartment. Not a good idea. That movie is pretty freaky. The first time I saw it I went to see it in the theater so stoned I could barely handle walking into the theater, which was also a terrible idea. You think I would have learned my lesson last time. Remember that night, DP?

git-r-done

I'm bored today. I've found some gems on craigslist personals but too many people have dogged on those posts so I won't bother. Did you know David Cross and Bob Odenkirk have a website? And did you know that David has written an extremely long open letter to Larry the Cable Guy? You didn't? Would you like to read it? Here it is.

The Bee had a thing today about yet another unrealistic proposal for the railyard. They should call this proposal "fantasyland 2015". I like how much of it is devoted to parks, though. It's not so bad except for the downtown arena.

cute old ladies at the crest

Ballet Russes is opening at the Crest. I don't think a movie preview has ever made me tear up (twice!) before so I will not miss this fine documentary of old people being cute as hell.

Speaking of theaters, I'm still waiting for a piece on the IMAX from the former writer of the Sacramento Comment, but in the meantime, here's a link to an editorial in the Bee that a coworker sent to me. It was in the paper the night before the vote and it urged the city to look into the matter further. They didn't take the advice.

K.W. reviewed Moxie in this week's news and review. I want to take exception with the just barely above average review, but I can't really. Like K.W., I think I want to like Moxie more than I do. They really do need to step their game up a bit. However, she's really annoyed at how dark it is in there, which I've never noticed before. I mean it's dark, but I never thought it was too dark. I wonder if she only went once? Because it's possible someone just leaned on the dimmer too hard that night. I would have liked some analysis of the wine list, especially because of their unusual policy of offering them all by the glass. I tried to muster up an argument against calling it "dated" but there is a certain 80s flavor to the whole place, as opposed to a classic feel. Biba's looks hella dated to me, too. When was the last time the News and Review reviewed that place? I would be curious to see how it would measure up.

Holy crap!

I was browsing the new SN&R and I saw an ad for a Purim celebration at congregation Beth Shalom in Charmichael that includes a carnival with a performance billed as "a celebration of Purim with Beach Boys music" called "Queen Esther and the Boyz on the Beach".

faithful far fans?

There was a post about a Jonah Mantranga show (with pictures) on brooklyn vegan. With multiple comments. Huh. I had heard that Fred Durst loved Far but I guess I didn't know that people in other places still remembered them. And before K.S. becomes enraged, that is not a dis on Far. I never heard Far and I only saw them once at the Cattle Club. Jonah took the stage with his long, luxurious locks tucked up into a cap, and then as the rock kicked in he headbanged in a carefully choreographed move so that the cap would fly off and his hair would flow everywhere. That's when I knew it wasn't for me and went out onto the patio.

Does the city council have money to burn?

Man, the city council was handing out money like tic-tacs at a halitosis support group last night! I am groaning (inwardly) as I write that joke. First with the IMAX (which I'll post about tomorrow), and then this. No wonder that liquor store owner didn't show up. He's probably getting a sweet deal. Do you think he could sell his crappy store for a million bucks in a legitimate sale? I doubt it. I think this is a weird use of eminent domain. It's supposed to be used to seize land needed for a public project (like a road), not just to eliminate a business the city council doesn't like. On the plus side, the Bee printed a fun map where you can look at the liquor stores in your neighborhood and see how much crime has occurred around them. A couple crimes were committed around Maks, but maybe they are just talking about how the food at L&L Hawaiian BBQ is illegally delicious. Smiller, you will not be surprised to see that some crimes happened near the Save-Rite. You might be surprised that prostitution wasn't one of them.

Mulvaney's Building and loan (is that really the full name)?!

Mulvaneys has opened in the old New Helvetia location! I can't wait to try this place! I wonder if the bar is good for chilling if you just want to order something small? I hate how Mike Dunne will write stuff like that and not tell you what he thinks about the food, but it's too early to write a fair review.

music news

If you like Belle and Sebastian and you have the technological means to do it, you should listen to Stuart's interview on fresh air. I got choked up a couple of times. It's a really good interview and you can tell Terry Gross and Stewart were thick as thieves (for an explanation of that idiom, go here)

You eastcoasters are going to have some chances coming up to go see Josephine Foster, and you shouldn't miss out. I wish I could see her live again! I'm planning a fantasy trip to Quebec on June 2nd to see her, but there's about a one percent chance of that. Here are her east coast dates:

Mon, May 22, 2006 Tonic New York NY w/Cherry Blossoms
Tue, May 23, 2006 Brooklyn Fire Proof Brooklyn NY w/ Cherry Blossoms
Thu, May 25, 2006 Cafe Nine New Haven CT w/ Arizona Drains
Sat, May 27, 2006 Pioneer Arts Easthampton MA w/Arizona Drains
Sun, May 28, 2006 AS 220 Art Space Providence RI w/Arizona Drains
Fri, Jun 2, 2006 Casa del Popolo Montreal Qbc

I'm going to see Spider and the Webs (dumb name) tomorrow in SF at theeeee parkside. It's Tobi Vail from Bikini Kills band and I have multiple reports that they're really good live so I'm excited about that. I plan to do a lot of walking around the city the next day and eating because, just between you and me, I have been feeling a strong need to get out of sac more lately.

There is quite a bit going on this weekend. Too much almost. Friday is the Bananas/Captain Nines show at Old I. This band was before my time so I'm a little fuzzy on the details. I guess Tom from the Knockoffs was in it way back in the day and now it has reformed for one show with some fans on the other instruments. Is this right? After that show I am going to try to catch the show at the Fools Foundation. A band called Dengue Fever (Jed's arch nemesis) is playing. It's like Cambodian pop music or something. Boy, I'm a font of information here.

Saturday is Dillons dirty thirty in Oakland, and in sac there are dueling shows, Four Eyes at the Distillery and Knock Knock and Carquinez Straights at the Fox and Goose. And a cookie bake-off that I want to win with my family recipe of Russian tea cookies!

who eats armadilloes?!

The giant Chinese buffet has opened right near Tower. The Armeniac has eaten there but I forgot to ask him about it. I hate buffets but in the interests of investigative journalism I will try to eat there soon.

A coworker was talking to the owners of Vientianne and found out about a Lao market called South Area Market on fruitridge that I want to check out in my relentless pursuit of yuppie delicacies. He also said that he went to SF market and that they had whole oxtails and, get this, whole armadilloes on ice. That is blowing my mind.

yuppie restaurant review

I took my good friend, Charles Albright (Milhouse, Knightmares, Sunshine Smile, Megacools, Rock the Light, the Frenchmen, and many more)** out to a birthday dinner last night. He's a vegetarian, so we tried to go to Andy Nguyens, but it was closed for a private event. Bummer. Charles suggested Thai Basil. I had never been there and had heard mixed reviews, but it was Charles' night, so I said OK.

The decor is pretty fancy and they have their SN&R best of signs posted all over, including the one from this year. They have a big selection of wine and beer in a refrigerated case (well, big for a Thai restaurant), which is nice. They have Phuket beer (heh heh) and Tiger and some Japanese, Chinese and Americanese beers, too. The wine list is OK, but overpriced. I don't see why a glass of Mondavi Cab should be 6.25. Overpriced was the theme of the evening. Thai Basil has a limited menu compared to Amarin and it only has one price for everything (except at lunch, when you can get "small plates" for 7.95, not sure how small they are). The price is 10.95 for dishes in which there is (I think) chicken, beef, or tofu, and 12.95 for shrimp or maybe something else. I think this is a stupid system. We wanted a veggie dish and there were only a couple to choose from, including prig king, a spicy green bean dish, but why should green beans be eleven bucks! We started with veggie rolls (the starters are lower priced). These were bland and mostly lettuce filled. The sauce was pretty good, but very fishy. Luckily Charles is not that stict of a vegetarian. Then we split a spicy red curry with tofu. It came with rice at least, but was not spicy at all and pretty bland. Then we got a wide noodle dish with a black bean sauce. The sauce had a good smoky, salty flavor and I love fat, soft noodles (heh heh), but it still did not excite my palate. Just OK. Not enough basil, not enough spice. For dessert we all split the fried banana with honey and ice cream. I rarely order dessert so it's been years since I ordered this at Amarin, but I recall it being fucking delicious. At Thai Basil the banana came out wrapped in eggroll wrapper and the grease it was fried in tasted a little old. It wasn't that tasty. However, the company was wonderful and we had a great time. Sorry Thai Basil, you are somewhat weak in my opinion. I really want to get out to Pattaya Thai again and review that. It's this total yuppie hole-in-the-wall out on Watt in that yuppie neighborhood North Highlands.

**Charles thought it would be funny that I namedropped him as part of the "indie elite"

Happy Birthday to Charles! (tomorrow)

Charles is having a birthday show in Davis tomorrow. I'm not going because of the Davis thing (hatred of Davis) but here's the details:

The MegaCools, The International PLayboys (from Missoula), The Pets:The G St. Pub:9:00, $2, 21+ Charles Albrights birthday

I have heard some things about those hard-partying, promiscuous bands from Missoula, so go there and you might get some action. Or maybe you can take the pets home with you for a three-way. Not saying that they're into that kind of thing.

Tonight th' Losin' Streaks are playing at Capitol Bowl. Capitol Bowl is rad, so if you haven't been there, now's your chance. Rock The Light was listed on the show the other day but now it just says TBA. It's around 700 and it's in the bar so you have to be over the hill like me to get in.

I'm a little late with my Animal Collective review because of my extended hiatus but it seemed like it had pretty mixed reactions from people. Some loved it, some hated it. Some felt the sound was too terrible to deal with. It depended on where you stood. I started out up front and the sound was OK, if you moved farther back behind where there was a big metal pipe-thing on the ceiling, that thing was catching all the sound and muffling it in a pretty crazy way. As I mentioned I stood up front at the beginning until I was pushed out by a crowd of young men that was partially composed of two bros that I'll call Sacto caveman and sac Chris Farley. I believe that the story of these bros is that they have liked Animal Collective for a while and are bummed that they are now so popular and poppy and that little kids are coming to their shows. They wanted to show that they were original fans by being the most obnoxious they could possibly be and trying to ruin the show for everyone around them. They did this by yelling stupid things like "sigma chi motherfucker" at ear-splitting levels over and over, pushing, and taking off their shirts so that their sweatiness would touch everyone. Annoying. But as I said, there were TONS of young people in the crowd, including many teens. Some were wearing headlamps a la the Geologist and some had their faces painted and were wearing feathers in their hair. Smiller pointed out a girl with her face painted, but who was wearing mismatching sweatpants and a sweatshirt. It's odd to go to that much trouble and then bust out with sweats. These kids were pretty cute and Animal Collective was obviously stoked on their energy. Their set was similar to the one they played a few months ago, mostly songs from Feels and Sung Tongs, and a new song or two. The Library is just OK as a venue, but it would be cool if it brought more bands of this size to Sac. I enjoyed the show but I'm still bummed that my too-stoned freakout ruined the one at the Great American for me. That one seemed like the best.

recipe

Pressing on because I have been rudely forced off my microscope and have some down time, I will post that recipe that I made up yesterday. I served it as a kind of salad on the side of some chicken tacos I made, or it could go on top. It's really good.

-Get two ears of fresh white (or yellow, if that's all there is) corn.
-Melt some butter on medium heat and cut the corn off into the pan, cutting yourself in the process because your sister gave you sharp knives which you constantly cut yourself with after a lifetime of using dull knives, which reminds me of that part in Popeye where Olive Oil (Shelley Duvall-come on shouldn't the presenters of that honarary Oscar to Altman been Elliot Gould and Shelley Duvall rather than Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin and by the way what was up with Altman's comment about having a heart transplant? Is that true?) is complaining about there never being a sharp knife in the house. Wrap the cut in toilet paper and try not to bleed into the pan.
-Throw half or a quarter of a diced habanero into the pan along with salt and pepper to taste
-saute briefly
-throw the corn into a bowl with some thinly sliced radishes and chopped cilantro. Squeeze one or two limes over the top. This tastes great.

rose colored glassy eyed over the hill fake hipster feel good drivel

I would change my blog name to that but I like the name Heckasac just a little bit better. But in this commenters honor I will write my first post-hiatus post in a rose font. Actually, the pink is already bugging me so back to black it goes. C'mon, you knew I couldn't stay away! Thanks for the suggestions and support, everybody. I don't think I need to take it private just yet, I have some plans for improving things so that doesn't have to happen. Here's one: a quiz for my readers.

Are you a jerk? If you know that you are or secretly suspect in your heart of hearts that others regard you as such (and no, Mike Banana you are not a jerk, not that you read anyway), then STOP READING MY FUCKING BLOG!

There, that should help.

Nope, I'm not going to turn this into a website that I'm just the editor of. That's sacrag's deal and they're welcome to it. I realized in the last week that the thing that has caused me the most problems is when I forget that this can just be my blog and I don't really have a responsibility to make it a public forum on every issue if I don't want to. That's what gets me in trouble so I'm going to be smarter about that from now on.

Kevin Seconds was kind enough to mock me for getting the least bit upset that jerks I didn't know were writing weird and false things about me. Being the wise elder statesman he is, he reminded me that "none of this TRULY means a gawddamned (sic) thing". While this may be true for his inane blog, it's not for mine. Now remember, he can't get mad that I said that because he thinks everything I write is completely meaningless as he has reminded me. Sorry if I got a bit worked up. I'm emotional like that. Also, at the time I didn't realize that that Paesano's thing was blowing up all over myspace and even Craigslist. Once I realized that everyone wasn't gunning just for me I felt better about it.

Later I will post a hipster salad recipe that I made up last night and continue in my campaign of trying to bring down local businesses. Stay tuned!