Navel Gazing

 I made two big life changes during the pandemic: started running and started meditating. The other one, which I didn't initiate ('rona did it) is no more twice-a-year visits by my mom which even though they were only twice, took up a bigly amount of space in my head because they were so stressful to plan and execute, so it always seemed like a visit was happening soon or had just happened.

But I digress, so running was due to not being able to go to spin as my main way to "stay in shape" whatever that is to a given person. I got really into it as something I could do when I couldn't do anything else and I was maybe running a little too often and pushing my mid-40s (cough *late 40*) body a bit, and since about May I have scaled back and run on average 4 times a week, 3 miles at a time. At that level, I don't get any injuries or soreness so it seems good. I found that I love to run in the extreme cold so I may up my distance again when the temperatures drop. I usually run at around 7 am everyday, rarely later than 8. Yeah, running is cool if you can do it and/or don't hate it. I do get sick of my McKinley village/Elvas area runs but I have a newfound appreciation for Compton's Market and their deliciously old-school logo and vibe. I mean, I don't shop there often but I think about it a lot as I run past. I love how there is a bar inside for East Sac Grateful dads to drink brews. I have also learned where the citrus, fig, loquat and cherry trees are to raid and pillage as I run

OK, now blogger has decided to center align, whatevs. 

Second change, meditating. That one is a bit more recent. UCD sponsors live meditations sessions, so I started that, and downloaded the Calm app (which I now got rid of and use 10% happier instead which is a great app despite the pathetic name). Now I meditate for a short sesh most days, sometimes twice or even three times. Sometimes if I do a body scan style one I will fall asleep briefly. That has been a life changer because it's making me tune into bodily sensations, and to note how often my heart is racing or I feel super nervous or tense. It's helping me to change that.

A side-effect of changing that is that I'm starting to notice I can't "handle" the stress I used to be able to. But what does "handling" mean anyway? A lot of times I think handling is just supposed to mean ignoring your stress and bodily sensations and plunging in. That's a lot harder when you are tuned into those feelings. Maybe that's why this younger generation is viewed as kind of fragile, because they are aware of mental health best practices and yikes "self care".  Anyway, these are musings that are on my mind, it really doesn't take much time at all to take a few breaths and ground yourself periodically, it can be done during the same amount of time that you might normally be scrolling on social media or stress snacking or something.