Tuesday, April 30, 2013

chakras in an uproar

OMG, yesterday I went to my regular vinyasa flow class only to find that it had been changed to yoga nidra, which is one of those gentle, relaxing, meditating type classes that I FUCKING HATE. Nothing makes me more tense than being forced to relax and breathe out of one nostril and shit.  The majority of the class was just lying down covered with blankets, which I do for 8 hours a night already, give or take.  So we're lying there, in the dark, and the teacher is talking and this asshole next to me instantly falls asleep and starts snoring really loudly.  Finally, after a long time I got so pissed that I was paying 15 bucks for this and gaining no strength or flexibility whatsoever that I freaked out, pushed all the shit off of me and fled the class.  The only thing I'm sorry about is that I left the blankets all messed up for the yoga teacher. But she heard the dude snoring and she should have done something.

The end.

Monday, April 29, 2013


First things first, Screature were RAD!!! This is the second time I've seem them and I'm kind of a superfan.  Their record is out but I don't know where you can buy it.  Thanks LD for hosting the party. Speaking of records:
 Matt Shrug put out a 3 song flexi of Bananas covers, which he turned into rockin' garage versions.  He plays every single fucking instrument by himself.
Nacho Business' single is out and is great.  These are both on Sacramento Records and again, I don't know how you get them besides asking Charles.
 This was my breakfast on Sunday. A meatloaf sandwich on a Corti Roll (perfect size!) and a weird Merengue soda from the Dominican Republic, a country I've been thinking about after reading the Junot Diaz book.
This is for the neighbor: I assume you have seen this in front of Lucky Cafe, or possibly you did it.  Thanks again for the eggs! I ate two this morning and they were soooo good.

This article got me curious about Lil B. I downloaded his mixtape "God's Father" (hilarious name) and it is ENDLESS and pretty monotonous, but the lack of variation makes it pleasant background music and occasionally a song stands out.  I think this song is pretty brilliant, mostly because I love how he never gets to the payoff of the song.

Friday, April 26, 2013

my regular schtick

I finally logged in to statcounter for the first time in a long time and heckasac is at a low that it hasn't been at since the beginning. That's ok, I understand people get sick of my schtick.  I really like that some out of towners still check, like Chapstick in NY.  So thanks for those of you that aren't sick of me. I always think it's funny that there will be newbies that are super involved and then drop off. 

What else? DJ Smiller is going to be DJing with Roger every couple of weeks, which is awesome! And he didn't play much reggae because it doesn't fit with Roger's style, (not that there's anythign wrong with that- Seinfeld). He did point out that the clash is the perfect segue into reggae.

The new George Saunders short story collection is blowing me away. I am such a fan.  The first short story made me cry! I don't think a short story has ever done that to me.  There are a couple of good scifi stories in there too.  They are so touching.  The struggle of people to be better than they are is a big theme.  Most people want to be good but their self absorption and selfishness and pettiness and greed get in the way.  So true. 

The Junot Diaz new book is about 50% good.  And super hot.  He is such a dog!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


TONIGHT: a last minute addition to DJ Roger's afternoon set at Lowbrau: DJ SCOTT MILLER will be spinning reggae and possibly R.E.M. starting at 5:30.  Stop on by after work and bob your noggin to Smiller's mellow sounds.  Try the beer below which is photographed in extrememly dim light and you will not be sorry.  It is a sour saison from that trendiest of breweries: Prairie. It is fucking delicious.  Clay was poppin' bottles at Lowbrau last night and it was really fun.  I asked the server for a Gose and she gave me a Geuze. What a wacky mixup!
I met a delightful young lady named Whitney yesterday and she gave me these earrings that she made! I love them.  She sells her stuff at Bows. Check it out!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013


Do you know how many times I've said "purview" lately? At the new job people be askin' me to do hella shit that's not in my purview.

Saw Oblivion at IMAX yesterday.  It is a mishmash of a bunch of other movies, including Blade Runner and Star Wars.  Even his space plane looks like whatever those X things are that Luke Skywalker flies.  Oh yeah, and The Matrix, BIG TIME.  It was OK, though.  Two strong female leads, which is unusual.

I really wish I could go see R. Kelly next month in Las Vegas. It's an arena show, though, which I hate.  Also it's 130 bucks plus getting to Las Vegas, staying in a hotel, etc.  Pretty much an unatainable dream.  The dude is 46 and I'm worried he will retire or that his preacher won't be enough to keep him from committing some pervy crime.  The latter is probably much more likely.  He's just playing a bunch of stupid festivals like Bonnaroo after that.  Do any actual music lovers go to those things? It seems like pretty much the worst way to see bands.

Speaking of music lovers, the music "scene" around here is moribund right now as far as I'm concerned. I know there are local bands that have good shows, but not really the ones I like.  Not to mention out of town bands.  There should have been way more people for that Peach Kelli Pop/ Fine Steps show.  Fine Steps tore it up.  It's too bad.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Terence Malick

This is gonna be controversial, but I'm going to say it: Terence Malick is probably the most overrated director out there.  OK, sure, Badlands is fucking bad ass, no one can contradict that.  But that was made in 1973, which is so old it was even before I was born.  How much of how amazing it is is Sissy Spacek?  A LOT.  I think Malick discovered her at some party in Texas if I remember correctly.

Anyway, since then we've got Days of Heaven, which was dreamy and pastoral and all that but pretty much ruined by casting Richard Gere as the protagonist.  He's too much of a light weight.

Then 20 years and out comes The Thin Red Line.  I was excited and liked it at the time but that movie was a mess.  So many pointless cameos: Nolte, Cusack, Sean Penn, Woody Harrelson (who is not pointless I guess because I am sure he was great), Jared Leto??, Travolta (that one was super pointless) and Clooney. And cut out Billy Bob Thornton, Martin Sheen, Gary Oldman, Bill Pullman, Lukaas Haas, Vigoo Mortenson and Micky Rourke!!  He recut it to make the movie about non-charismatic Jim Caveziel, who later went on to star in that non-classic The Passion and then do nothing ever.

OK, next we have the Pocahontas movie.  I like Colin Farrell as much as the next lady but also a mess. I barely remember it.

Tree Of Life: pretty good but not as deep as it wanted to be.  And now we have To The Wonder starring Affleck and it's getting terrible reviews.  I guess the lady lead just twirls a lot.  That's enough strikeouts that I'm declaring him a hack.  He's like a band with one great album, which I respect but that's not much of a band.

There's another new post below if you're interested.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

preserved for all eternity

 We're trying to clean some crap out of our house, which is such a lame task, but anyways these framed pics have been sitting around forever and they're not exactly aesthetically pleasing enough that I want to hang them up.  So I had the idea that I'd just preserve them in posts on the blog.  That way they'll be here for all eternity way after I'm dead when Sacramento scholars are poring over it, writing dissertations on the early internet era, etc.  So here's the "best local blog readers' choice from 06" and...
And writers' choice from 05.  That was really cool.  I don't know if I won other years? I know I came in second or third to some fly-by-nights that aren't around.  Like those sexy twins. Done! Preserved!

I was just looking at some early posts to remind myself how long ago I started heckasac (coming up on 9 years) and I just found two funny things: apparently I spotted Vincent Gallo on a trip to NY (how the fuck would I forget this?!) and when Scott used to post for me (before we were even going out!) he wrote that Brew It Up by far had the best beers in Sac!!

Friday, April 19, 2013

40 water

OMG it was just announced that Canned Heat will be playing at the UCD staff picnic this year?!?! This is bizarre.  And funny.  I have always kind of hated them.  And they serve us the grossest grade Z Hannibal's catering.  I asked for a vegetarian meal.

Remember Canned Heat?

uh, how did I get the date for e-40 off by like a month? So weird.  Oh well, at least I will catch the Screature set.  It's on May 18th.  What do you think Sprinkle Me is about? Is it a drug thing? Golden Shower? Just nonsense? I'm sure it's the latter.

There is a really good James Salter article in the New Yorker.  Underappreciated writer.  Writer's writer.  Interesting to discover that he's a secret Jew.  He changed his name from David Horowitz! I recommend Light Years.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

thinkin' about bread

I got a deep tissue massage yesterday and I feel like I paid someone to kick my ass.  Deep tissue is insane, but I do believe it can have health benefits although I'm not sure what. Maybe raising my pain tolerance?  I know what childbirth feels like now (JK ladies!). Anyway, Shannon at Harmony is great, and she'll do swedish too. and maybe shiatsu. I don't know what that is.

I am shocked to report that Sophia's in Davis has a decent pork laap. It is probably their only item that isn't syrupy sweet.  My coworkers keep picking places to go.  I have not had the opportunity to pick a single place. The words "chinese buffet" are bandied about frequently.  Do you know how hard it is for me to keep my trap shut?  It's so hard that I could see myself bursting a blood vessel in my eye.

I've been thinking about bread, since I just wrote a review that has a lot in it about bread.  Will Sac ever have a really good bread bakery? I've gotten to eat Tartine bread twice in the last couple of weeks and I really hope we someday get a good bakery.  OK, it can't be as good as Tartine, the most  famous bread bakery in the world, but as good as Semifreddos would be nice.

Indulge me one more time in moaning about Morrissey shirts I have lost:

Dame Edith Sitwell

Harvey Kietel

Motorcycle Au Pair Boy

that  last one is the most painful of all and I think I might buy this one.  Too bad it's XL and the one I had was probably a small.  This is a smart business decision and will  only appreciate in value. 

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

who ever thought?

We had an Edible Mag meeting about a summer event we're planning.  It's going to be realllllyyyyy good, and we are making it pretty cheap so everyone will be able to come that is interested.  We are lucky enough to have SB bringing in a professional PR perspective.  We hashed everything out at LowBrau and at first she was like, "what the heck is the focus of this event?" but by the end we had pared it down to a pretty manageable scope.  And we agreed to not take the easy way out: food trucks.

Can we talk about food trucks? Have I already written about this? Can't remember.  I feel like everyone's supposed to just support their existence because of the stupid law against them and because they got trendy, etc. But are there any good ones?  I mean, the Gameday truck seemed to be a lifesaver for everybody at the Halloween show (not me since I thought it would be a good idea to eat one million beers for dinner and then choke down a five pound burrito made of grey steak at 3 in the morning), but they all seem to be lowest common denominator.

Anyway, we are gonna class up the vibe of this party since Edible is nothing if not classy, and because I am a classy broad.  It will be fun and mingly with good food.  More details to come.

Going to see Danny Brown tomorrow! Excited! Have you seen this video? It is the best. I can't believe I bought a scalped ticket on stubhub a month ago for 20 more bucks than they are going for now.  I didn't know how stubhub worked


Speaking of stubhub, I decided I don't care that that Tyler The Creator show sold out.  I don't like his record. The lyrics are stupid  masquerading as clever.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Dirty South: some thoughts

This post will be long, but I hope you can hang
OK, so this is why I say it all comes down to Juvenile: not only was he a very popular artist in his own right (400 Degreez certified 4X platinum), BUT he may arguably have invented the New Orlean's dance music style "bounce" with the song "bounce for the Juvenile", which came out way before he was famous, when he was like 16. 

Now, bounce is a whole other thing, that never really translated out of New Orleans I don't think, but it's pretty interesting.  Big Freedia and other "sissy rap" acts are a part of it, and you may have seen her on Jimmy Kimmel? It was rad.  Here's a good example of classic bounce. I like it even though it's really abrasive, and you can see that it's strictly for dancing, not listening to at home,.

According to wiki, the phrase shake it like a salt shaker and the slang "twerk" are both from bounce, too.  Its influence has trickled down into rap since the mid/late 90s.

I would also argue that Juvenile was a projenitor of trap, which is all the rage right now.  Maybe this one is a little bit of a stretch.  I guess Three 6 Mafia was more involved with both.  T.I.'s "Trap Musik" album (which is really good) is considered one of the first in the genre.  I wish I could link to more of this stuff but I keep being paranoid that my  new IT department are sitting in their office keeping notes on what I'm doing or something.

I would also like to say that Pastor Troy sucks.  And Lil Jon does not hold up at all. Super obnoxious.  Maybe a "yeahhh" here and there but not his actual songs which feature mostly aggressive chanting.

It's fun to listen to this stuff again and realize I know a lot about it.  And it was so influential that it sounds pretty current.  I love how Drake gives props to Juvenile, like by sampling Back That Ass Up.

I went to SF and in the hotel room got to watch some busted-ass semi amateur UFC, which was still awesome.  I learned that elbow drops and heel hooks are only legal once you turn pro, although if I got that wrong I'm sure DN will correct me.  Also that Muay Thai training seems to have taken the place of Brazilian grappling as the preferred training.  There was an ad for a soap called "defense" which they said is a guard against "grappling related skin infections" yeesh.

We stayed at the Sir Francis Drake and went to the Starlight Room 22 stories above the city.  MS and I had both envisioned it as a piano bar filled with courtly old men and maybe a lady who had been a Ziegfield Follies girl (never mind that that would make her about 120 years old).  Instead it was THE MOST AWKWARD CLUB IN THE WORLD.  Weird men leaned against the windows on all sides.  It was the most random assortment of people ever.  Pretty funny.

We also went to Bar Tartine and I highly recommend it.  The food was bomb.  It's expensive but the portions are really big so two people could easily split three dishes.  The wine and beer list is so good.  And you get baskets of the best bread in the world.  My favorite dish was smallish purple potatoes that had been smoked for three hours served with ramp mayo and chopped dill and flat leaf parsley.

I watched a documentary about the photgrapher Francesca Woodman, who mostly photographed herself nude in gauzy black and white. She threw herself out a window in 1980, when she was 21.  I like her work but she seems like she was the big pain in the ass.  She reminds me of Cal Arts students I've met (not WB!), and she went to RISD of course.  Anyway it's good.

You know what is not good?  A Place Beyond The Pines.  I went to see it by myself on opening day, since it has Ryan Gosling in it (I am a middle aged lady after all) and it's 2 hours and 20 minutes long and I walked out after about 2 hours and 5 minutes because I didn't give a shit.  Terrible.  It's from the guy who directed Blue Valentine, a movie I found to be emotionally devastating.  Ha that sounds so pretentious.

Friday, April 12, 2013

I'm already excited about the next Halloween show

This is very exciting! I had to ask Dave Ninja's help because I don't have photoshop, so we now have created a store at Cafe Press for "I'm already excited about the next Halloween show" merchandise!!  Place your orders now! I just ordered two bumper stickers and they came in at under ten bucks.  This is Official Halloween Show (TM) merchandise, don't confuse it with other shoddy knockoffs.

By the way, I've been remiss in not saying (did I say that right?) that Morrissey was my favorite of the night, on an emotional level.  I've probably blahblahed about this to some of you before, but in 92 I walked off my job at a gas station (with no notice, what a little dick) to drive around California and Arizona, following Morrissey.

I fell into this little crew of zinesters and Morrissey obsessives and we all drove together and crashed at people's houses. The first guy I kissed (TMI!) was one of the dudes I was traveling around with.  It was a heady time. 

I never got onstage even though I tried, and I once got a little scrap of his shirt and lost it, so getting to hug  Morrissey at the Halloween show really completed the circle for me, and I felt like it was really happening.  Cody was SO AMAZING!!!!!

And that's why: I'm already excited about the next Halloween show! (TM)

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

bin laden weed

I started a spotify playlist on late 90s/early 2000s dirty south for my future Leap In The Dark DJing so I wouldn't forget any songs.  T.I. has been around longer than I thought.  Remember these two songs that refer to 9/11? Scandalous at the time.


maybe T.I. will play it at Discovery Park.

I had completely forgotten about this one.  It's hilarious.


here it is chopped and screwed


I am trying to get into chopped and screwed a little more.  It seems like one would have to be on some type of downers to appreciate it.  I guess that's why most of the people  making it overdosed on sizzurp

There was a ton of  good stuff coming out of Houston at that time that didn't really get big.  Lil Flip was huge (according to Riff Raff in his Nardwuare interview)

Anyhoo, probably no one is excited about this post as I am

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

too old for this shit

I encourage you all to follow the link to the Halloween show blog and then that link to tumblr and please upload any pictures, even if they are on fb already. hell, upload any old ones too and maybe at some point we can organize them.

I am excited about DJ Missy at Music Box night at Ironsides. This excitement is based on her DJ set and LM's Halloween party. I bought a witchy dress specifically for this night. I always say I'm going to get more witchy and I never do, although maybe summer could be the season of the witch.  I certainly wear more black than I used to. Blah blah like you all care.

I went to see The House I Live in at a free screening at the Crest last night.  It was pretty meh. Not a lot of surprises, but I think it's along the line of An Inconvenient Truth, which lots of people who weren't paying attention tripped over. Not like I'm some expert on the drug war, but I've watched The Wire. JK, I haven't.  Davis Simon, the creator is featured prominently.  But I have read a book on the narco trade in Mexico and stuff about the CIA and crack, etc.  I did not stay for Danny Glover so I couldn't ask him if he's too old for this shit and what was up with that weird scene where his entire family sings happy birthday to him while he's in the bathtub.

Monday, April 08, 2013

ho hum

Hey guys-

Wow, what a dud of a weekend.  Oh well, at least I'm well rested, and I had time to clean the house and put up those shelves I've been meaning to get to, etc.  Scott and I barely left the house except for a trip to Costco.  Our biggest excitement was catching  up on Season 2 of Homeland.   No spoilers, but did that end with a cliffhanger or what?

What did you guys do?

Friday, April 05, 2013

Like a baus or like a bitch?

Getting business cards today, like a boss, like a boss.

Went to see Mantles/Swiftumz last night at the Eagle, which is a cool place.  The show was crowded but a lot of people just jammed the patio and maybe didn't watch more than a minute of one band.  Someone has got to book Swiftumz in Sac!!! Mike C., are you reading? Perfect for leap in the dark!  Mantles are insanely good.  I have to hook up a Stingrayz show this summer if it kills me.  There is a tentative Stingrayz trip on Sunday planned.  Michael from Mantles always wears a sick Stingrayz hoodie.

At the show, I heard from a knowledgeable source that 4/17/72 is one of the best Grateful Dead live shows.  Cannot wait to hear it.

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

never tell a lie about wokstar's dad

ESS is playing at Barfly tonight. I wonder what that stands for?  Barfly is kinda on my radar lately.  It seems like maybe a good place to have shows, despite its listless, cavernous vibe.  Hey, there aren't a lotta venues so might as well give it a try. Mike C. was expressing some interest. I've gone to Shaun Slaughter's house music night (there were a crew of break dancers that would take turns going and it was just like being in an 80s movie) a reggae/dancehall night (totally dead but good music, who knew that Soriano's brother is a reggae dj?) and now, ESS.

A funny thing about the reggae night, if you know what DJ Wokstar looks like, is that he showed up with his wizard-ish dad who looks EXACTLY like him.  Wokstar must have been raised a Rastafarian.  Smiller, can you remind me of my rastafarian/tour de france joke?

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Tuff Turf indeed.

Wowza. Tuff Turf the movie.  That is teen Robert Downy Jr. on the right, Jim Carroll in the middle, and hot Spader on the right.  Spader in my opinion is miscast as a protagonist rather than a villian, and basically plays the good guy as if he were a bad guy.  Scott thought he was a badass, I thought he brought all his misfortunes on himself with his unwarranted cockiness.  He gets beaten up so many times in this movie and he lets a thug run over his bike rather than just riding it away. 

New Halloween blog post, check it out

Monday, April 01, 2013

pretty much for the neighbor only

Dear Neighbor-
Thanks for the invite to your fun party.  Sux that it got majorly rained out after we left. Guphy and I sat and watched it through my front window and listened to Ladies of the Canyon.  You should give Joni Mitchell a chance.  Speaking of that, it is very important to me and smiller that you come around to the Grateful Dead. Let me make my case:

1) One reason people hate the Dead is that they associate it with the bullshit it became in the 80s and 90s (and maybe late 70s).  That is not fair! Would you go see the Rolling Stones now and say that they suck and you could never get into them?  OF COURSE NOT

2) Due to your love of traditional country you have judged them harshly on covers they have done that you didn't like.  You can't judge any band on covers.  They in general do really bad covers, and Weir especially picks totally cheesy ones.

3) You like country rock so it makes no sense to reject the Dead entirely.

4) You like New Rider with Jerry. Boom!

5) When I have time, I will make you a comp that will knock your socks off.  No Pigpen, no Donna Godchaux screeching, no Weir when his voice is at it's worst.  Kreutzmann is such a badass drummer and when Jerry is in the zone there is nothing like it.  Not to mention when  Phil drops a major Phil bomb.

6) once you are into that, you can start delving into the very best of the live shows. The vibes still emanate from these recordings.  Once you hear a crowd that are probably all peaking on acid get psyched at the first few notes of a favorite song you can't resist.

I think I covered it, although Scott may have a few more points. I expect to hear the sounds of the Dead emanating from your side of the building by this summer (the Dead sound best in the summer played outside, or preferably played while you are driving on hiway 1)