I'm manning the blog today as heckasac participates in the lady dayrage. This post will serve to chronicle the ladies' progress via text message as they pet kittens, watch "The Piano", eat chocolate and go shoe shopping - oh, yes, and drink the occasional fruity drink in an attempt to get buzzed. Good luck on your transitional journey ladies!
-miller
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29 comments:
I am doing the important pre-dayrage moisturizing right now!
gbomb
Moisturaging!
Miller, as one funny man to another, I bow before you, sir. You crack me up.
They are gonna drink sooooooo many appletinis!
i recommend drinking a greyhound. very ladyrage.
I just helped a lady get her bike out of her car so that she could meet other ladies at the lady rage. Being a gentlemen, I offered to give her some secret tapes to pop into the boombox on the rage, you know, in between wine coolers or something. Imagine my horror when she told me there was no boombox, thus no Dead tapes, nor Creedence, Springsteen, Mellencamp, or (gasp!) Replacements. Well, rest assured, gentlemen, I politely informed her that a rage without a Replacements cassette is no rage at all. I then said "Good day!" and wished her Godspeed to the Monkeybar!
Amateurs!
-heckamax
Excuse the delay here - I was in a meeting. But we have some texts!
11:02 Bernardo's 2 egg breakfast and coffee. Tall boy hidden in bike basket.
11:04 Bloody mary at Bernardo.
11:26 We're talking about cats.
More to come.
-miller
We have 2 entries from 11:57. The ladies are working overtime to make it appear as though they're raging!
From Heckasac: "Strawberry Smirnoff rage"
Grom G balls: "PBR on ice in your Orval glass".
Hands off my Orval glass wench!
-miller
PS: I had to delete my previous comment due to to mis-spelling "off". I always have trouble with big words like that.
12:13 "Strawberry Smirnoff on ice in your Orval glass."
It appears that my polite request has been ignored, however, I should point out that this is not the world's largest glass by any stretch & by my calculations, allowing for the ice, there is roughly 5 oz of Smirnoff Ice being consumed. Oh yes, in case you were assuming that they were talking about straight Smirnoff, you would be mistaken. This 6 pack of Smirnoff Ice was purchased when A&P Liquor reported to Heckasac that wine coolers were no longer made.
-miller
12:39: "Tomorrow - Sat, July 18 @ Harlow's: special early show with Shannon Curtis - 7pm!!! with Bryn Loosely - doors @ 6pm - $8 adv (harlows.com)/ 410 @ door - all ages"
Wait, Jer Per is on the lady dayrage?!
-miller
12:47 "gayrage at the merc"
12:51 "these Shirley Temple's are SOOOOO strong"
1:31 "Mamas and papas on the patio at the merc. Liv has joined"
It's kind of like how we were listening to the Dead on the back patio of Simon's. Except we had a boombox & were smoking weed.
-miller
Heckamax, apparently your sister - we'll call her Ms "I'm willing to start raging when the sun rises" Maxwell - has just joined the dayrage at 2:00. This brings the lady dayrage total to six ladies. And Jer Per of course.
-miller
I've heard they are going to Whiskey Wild's. Finally! A move I approve of! Hope Whiskey Wild's Zima supply is well stocked.
-Heckamax
Just in!
2:10 "we are the only people at whiskey wild"
Maxwell, how have we overlooked whiskey wild on the real dayrage? How?! A point for the ladies.
-miller
2:11 "jana & guphy dancing on bar"
I call bullshit on that one!
-miller
I am totally contemplating going "undercover" to Whiskey Wild -- with a snowcone.
-heckamax
PS Do you think that "guphy and jana dancing on the bar" is code for "we're talking about our favorite chapter in Twilight"? It's actually kind of sad when you think about it.
PSS my word verification is "nonag". Weird, huh?
Very weird.
Hey, mine is "free&easy"
-miller
The ladyrage has officially entered Little Yuba for PBR Lights.
3:27 "Jarritos! Katy got a miller chill. Jana got a bud light lime"
Hmmm, that's two of the six ladies. Maybe the others are taking a little break...
-miller
Those PBR Lights are mine! I left them at Madeline's house! If a man's PBR Lights that he left at his sister's house aren't sacred, then what is? Why, this is a low blow, even for the ladyrage!
Curse you, ladyrage!
-heckamax
4:01: "bought porn at l'amour shop"
The dayrage has left the grid! Currently "drinking" at the Pocket Club.
-miller
4:42 "old guy bought liv a beer"
Foster, I'd get over to the Pocket Club quick if I were you! Or wait, maybe you're already there & you just bought Liv a beer.
-miller
4:43 "24 oz pabsts for $2.75"
I like the sound of this Pocket Club....
-miller
As 5:00 rapidly approaches, the dayrage turns in to the boring ol' nightrage & our correspondence must come to an end. I think we can all agree that if they hadn't just been making all of this up, it would've been a hell of a rage.
To the Pocket Club!
-miller
anecdote apropos of nothing:
am in liberia for two weeks doing a short project. last night i was all coked up with this lebanese car dealer who's been living here for years. he asked me where I'm from, and I'm like, "Sacramento". he goes "hey, Sacto!" I'm like, "Dude how does a Lebanese guy in Liberia know that it's called Sacto?" He goes, "Man the Kings are owned by Lebanese brothers. Everyone in Lebanon knows about Sacto."
-chapstick
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