Monday, April 30, 2012

quote unquote

Can I rant a little bit about my community garden?  The people running it are power mad.  I receive a constant stream of emails about their rigid rules.  The new one is a directive that all tomato plants need to be planted 1.5 feet from the edges of the plot.  In a 6X6 plot doesn't that mean you can just plant one tomato plant?  And this garden is NOT CHEAP.  They seem to be terrified of stray tomato branches in the aisle.  Who does this hurt?  I don't understand.  Are they afraid a child will be trapped in the branches? And one of the organizers cut down some of my favas because they were leaning.  She wrote that she was "struggling" to get a wheelbarrow through.  Doesn't that sound a bit dramatic?  Also, there are two other paths to access her garden which are equally easy. Aarrggggghh.  Where are the easygoing garden hippies?

Pictures after the jump

 Chilaquiles from Lalo's, with chicken.  They have a different style.  The chips are kinda more like nachos.  They're not sauteed with sauce.
 We went to party city for some party supplies.  The wedding stuff is pretty funny.  Wedding pimp hat
 Pointless wedding flip flops.  You won't even be able to tell
 "Humorous" wedding figurine
 "elegant" wedding figurine
 "sexy" cowboy hat
 "delicious" chocolate fountain, with "chocolate" mix
 this is so sexist. it plays some song, but I didn't squeeze the hand
 I got this new vase I'm really into.  It's so ugly it's cute
 There is a jaguar on it
 I got some expensive Octoberfeast bread at the farmer's market and I was bummed it looked all charred but this stuff is the bomb.  Delicious.  Why don't they sell retail?
 Time to plant summer stuff.
 We bbqed some oysters.  I like how you can just slightly bbq these big ones, so they are hot but still tender.


20 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel like I may know that controlling gardener.

So miller can't solo on tongs? I'm surprised, word used to be that he could solo on anything.

gbomb

beckler said...

it's not glen! glen is cool. although he probably does get annoyed by my unruly garden flopping into his plot.

Anonymous said...

Talk about first world problems! What person is crazy enough to cut down someone's plants without asking first?

Down here, when I showed a neighbor what we've planted, she said she'd be afraid to eat our homegrown lettuces because "they aren't strong enough to defend themselves from pollution, like lemons can... you know cause of their thick skins."

People are idiots.

DKK

Anonymous said...

+1 Idjits

A while back, they came over to talk about "the ground squirrel problem". At first they were accusatory (like we generated the ground squirrels for our own evil purposes) When I told them we used a bb gun to keep them under control, the lady said "Oh no, we could NEVER do something like that....we're looking into putting poison out for them"...Poison...in an organic garden.

Idjits.

-The Neighbor

beckler said...

Last I heard they were going to try to kill them with dehydrated potatoes! I was very skeptical that would work. The squirrels would probably throw a party.

Darn you and you nefarious squirrel-breeding program!

Anonymous said...

That's not all the neighbors are doing in there!

OK, I looked it up and they can kill ground squirrels legally.

Of course it's not Glenn!

gbomb

Anonymous said...

I would imagine that community gardens are as rife with micro management as food co-ops are. Hippies aren't easy going, just passive aggressive.

Anonymous said...

Haha, I can totally picture them coming over to the groovy compound passive-aggressively suggesting that somehow the squirrel problem was originating there.

-miller

Anonymous said...

@Gbomb- Prove it!

Other than breeding mega-squirrels for world domination, we are actually pretty tame. House show on May 18th! Bring $5 for the bands!

The Neighbor

beckler said...

Fuck, we can't go to that show! I have been wanting to see into the compound for so long!

Here's one of the recent emails. I also got one that you can't loan your key out. So I guess no one can have their friend water when they go out of town.

1. Kids should carry water in buckets to make mud pies, mud mountain, etc. Please let your kids know that they can not use the use to fill up the dirt pile. We all pay for water and the agreement is that they can haul their water from the spigot.

2. PLEASE plant your tomoto plants AT LEAST 1.5 feet from the edge of your garden. AS mentioned before, we will ask you to pull plants if they become a nuisance and I see lots of plants very close to borders. Move them now before you have to sacrifice them later.

3. Don't shade your neighbor, you will be asked to remove, cut down your plants.

4. KEEP THE PATHS CLEAR. We will not be giving too many chances this year before we ask you to pull plants. Too tired and not enough people to help. Think of others and keep your plants inside your plots lines.

5. WEED. Weeds go home with you, not in the compost. There are many plots with bindweed and other weeds that are a real problem. PLEASE be a good neighbor and honor your agreement to keep your plot up.

6. If you need to be absent from the garden for any length of time, either clear out your garden and let us know or ask a fellow gardener to keep an eye.

7. Have fun and get to know your neighbors.

ninja said...

I also cant believe Millz isnt soloing those tongs.

Masullo's Mikki pizza = very good!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I am totally coming to that show. It's fun there!

gbomb

Anonymous said...

Never has "have fun and get to know your neighbors" been uttered more joylessly.

-miller

beckler said...

at least this is going to solve the raging mud pie problem.

Anonymous said...

Do you remember the mean hippies that lived across from us at 26th St? They would lose their shit if anyone parked in front of their house.

-- Patrone

The Armeniac said...

Dude, is there a less fascist garden you can go to? This seems like the least enjoyable place to garden ever!!
Middle age hippies love regulations!! They're all about it!!

Anonymous said...

Spoke like a true portlandite.

Natalie.

beckler said...

But we've got our plot all set up and we built a raised bed and enriched all the soil. It's just starting to get really good. In the immortal words of that true American hero Charlton Heston, I won't leave until they pry my plot out of my cold dead hands.

heather said...

Is Dwight Shrute running your community garden?

Prolific caps locker too. There was no shift key used in the making of that email.

The Armeniac said...

Organize a counter committee of gardeners who are sick of it, there's gotta be a few, enough for a committee anyway!