song titles for you

Many of you will probably not find this as amusing as I do, but have you ever looked at erowid.org? It's basically just people documenting their drug trips for every single drug you have ever heard of and countless you have not. The listing for "bad trips" is the most amusing/horrifying. People write amazingly detailed accounts and-news flash-some people are really into drugs. Here's a passage from a guy who took DMT:

I decided on a 50 mg dose of DMT rendered orally active with a 3 g dose of ground Syrian rue. The setting was as near to perfect as I could dream up, a small cedar lined yurt with a gas stove fireplace, nestled at the foot of the mountains on a crystalline lake. The morning sky was dark with snow and a powerful wind was blowing down from the mountainside past our yurt, leaning heavily on the giant firs and spruce surrounding us. My girlfriend and I lay nestled by the fire in our cozy little cabin, with candles set about the room.

Sounds nice, right? His trip was fucked up by the fact that his girlfriend realized she had forgotten to call in sick to work right after he smoked the DMT! Major bummer.

Anyway, even just looking at the titles of the bad trip listing can provide hours of amusement (and countless albums worth of song titles. You're welcome):

I'm alive. I'm dead. I'm plastic.

Becoming a zipper.

Becoming a membrane.

Becoming nothing. Becoming something. (apparently there is a lot of "becoming" involved with salvia)

Faeries make good lovers.

The shephardess calls.

My Mind Screamed and Only I Heard it.

Wavy Starfish Carried Me Away To Oblivian.

Smashed Through a Crack in Everything.

Reality is a Game in an Alien's Mind (intense drug use also causes random capitalization)

I became a rubber man.

I Was, I am, and Ever More Shall Be So.

I Always Get Elves

Hey God, Can You Make The Picture Smaller?

Tralfamadorian Cruise Control

Underneath, It's Never Over

Fighting Death With Love.

Beating Tentacle Things.

We have to take the Wrapper off of Reality.

My Life as an Organic Contracting Tube (I call this name for my autobiography)

The Feeling Of Being Flat And Legless.

Eternity Is Her Tapestry.

In Her Fields: Ahh.

the time that always happens (almost an Oasis album title)

My Body was a Meaty Unit

It's Not Frightening, But It Should Be.

I Belong Nowhere at This Place.

So I'm a Snake?

The Reality Store

Those People Created Triangles....

The Present Feeds The Future

Tingly Multicolored Rabbit Realities

I'll Keep My Penis, Thanks

Cats and Dogs Aren't Real (I beg to differ)

One Tooth In The Zipper Of Reality (a zipper theme is emerging)

and finally...

Total Mind Fuck.

these are just some of the entries for salvia! maybe I'll post more later.

Snowbuddies premier footage

Here are some videos of the Snowbuddies Band. They rule!

One of my favorite things about the Midcentury Modern home tour were the movies that were being played at the check-in station at the Freeport Airport. What was the special kind of film? Scopotone? There were some campy music videos and commericals from the 50s.








My second favorite part was eating at Aviators. I can't fucking believe I had never eaten there before! I ordered the Airboss special, with pancakes.
The food is not the appeal...
it's the ambiance!
Unbelievable!
How often can you watch a helicopter land while you're eating?
This is an apricot lavender popsicle from fatface in Davis. Run, do not walk to get this popsicle. It's her best ever. She's not open until Wednesday so I guess don't start running just yet.
Where's Babs?

Dani: an appreciation

It's always sad when a friend moves, because even if you see them as often as possible, it's hard to stay in touch day-to-day like you do with someone you see every. Then you're always catching up rather than just hanging out. I'm so sad that Dani is moving away, but she's such an easygoing, fun person that I'm sure every time I see her it will probably feel like no time has passed.

I really look up to Dani as such a responsible, mature, gracious lady and such a caring, warm mom to her children (and sometimes her friends) but also somebody who can cut loose and rage with the best of them. She's so open-minded and up for anything, she's kind of the perfect person to take on any adventure, or to just sit and have a beer with.

Dani is really humble, but also full of surprising stories. Once, she was talking about this two day hike up a volcano that her family used to go on in Hawaii and I asked her how many times she had been on it and if I remember correctly she replied "seven times". My jaw dropped! She has a ton of little anecdotes like this.

Ah! This is hard and I could go on and on but I'll just say that Sacramento is really going to miss Dani, and Mark, and Sadie, and Luc so much!!!

temper tantrum

Did you know the mayor threw a massive temper tantrum after the city council vote on Tuesday? No? Well, you certainly wouldn't know if you read about it in the Bee. Joe Sacramento did a ten minute edit, some of it done for comic effect.

Sacramentopress just started banning some commenters, and first was bbbmer. Here's what they wrote:

Today we are releasing a revised version of our terms of use that explicitly lays out appropriate behavior for our site. We have also made improvements in our ability to ban and suspend users.

By making that last change we have banned our first user from the site. The user we have banned goes by the moniker “bbbbmer.” Our operations staff has had to remove more than 50 comments from this user, and has sent the user more than 40 e-mails and one official system warning. More than 10 users of varying backgrounds have e-mailed us to complain about comments this user has made. For more than any other reason, we are banning “bbbbmer” because he has single-handedly degraded the quality of conversations on our site, primarily through personal attacks and instigation.

How many chili peppers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I am feeling slightly better. Liver...recovering.

Stuff is happening. Snowbuddies premiere on Sunday.

Fucking Neil Hamburger on Saturday! At 8:30. At the Comedy Spot.

everyone loves a panel discussion

Interesting. There's a panel discussion tonight that is open to the public that's about paying for online content. OMF is on the panel, along with a few other illustrious Sacramentans, such as the publisher of Sacramento, and the editor of the business journal. Here are details from Sacramento Press.

On that note, I'm sad to see that trolls are creeping into the formerly civil discussion that used to go on in the Sac Press comment threads. Specifically, they should ban the idiot who posts under "bbbmer".

late-night thoughts

I had a revelation last night at 3 am. Alcohol is poison.

har har

I've heard people complain that embedded videos make the blog load slowly, so here' s a link to my Four Eyes video. Bear with my terrible camera skills. It calms down about one minute in. Nothing I can do about the distorted audio, however. I know, I'm really selling it!

So there's a dudely dayrage coursing through town as we speak. They have already pulled some pussy moves, like not starting till like noon and not having any stops planned. I got my first text from smiller. Backstory: instead of using any of the ladies who raged on the MidMo cover, they have replaced us with younger, model types. The text:

"at monte drinking treat, making fun of ladyrage midmo cover deciding what young dudes will play us on our cover story. consensus is matt maxwell and ganglians".

free balloon stampede

I'll have some Four Eyes video in a bit. I'm not one to say that clowns are creepy, but this clown is creepy. This is the hobo clown that rides the BMX bike around Old Sac. Conwad used to think that his makeup was tattooed on.

Old West hobo clown from the back.


I was surprised to see how apeshit people will go over some free balloons.

I went on kind of an epic Hmong cooking spree yesterday and it was so easy and fun. First up: papaya salad. You need one of those tools with the green handle for shredding. Get one at SF Supermarket.
One small-ish papaya makes a lot of papaya salad. That's good to remember because green papayas are not that cheap.
I bought a new mortar and pestle because the only other one I have is a tiny spice one.
Here's my grocery haul.
This is a chili condiment that is like the ketchup of the Hmong. The cookbook says they just call it "pepper". It's cilantro, Thai chilies, sugar, MSG, fish sauce, and green onion.
It is addictive stuff.
Here's the finished papaya salad with cherry tomatoes. You can also add raw greenbean or Thai eggplant chunks. It's so healthy and delicious. Full of fiber and vitamins.
I also stuffed a chicken with ground pork, herbs, and peanuts and basted it in coconut milk. This recipe was in Cooking From The Heart. Why no picture? Because I left the feet and head on the chicken. Really just because I knew I would mangle it trying to remove them. It was not a pretty dish but was very tasty. The coconut milk and pork made it super rich so I could only eat a small portion and have lots of leftovers for tonight.

creepy from birth

Leading up to our First Annual Hail Satan Kenneth Anger Weenie Roast and Film Fest I will try to give you some facts on Anger. He was born in 1927 in Santa Monica. He was peripherally involved in the film industry (barely) as a child and his only real part was playing the Changeling Prince in the silent film of Midsummer Night's Dream. There he is. Creepy, right?

Some Woodsist fest articles are coming out and people are claiming Kirsten Dunst was there. There were only like 200 people there and I was there all day and saw no Dunst. Sure there were girls that looked like Dunst, but I don't believe she was there. There was also a busted looking poor man's Joni Mitchell but I'm not claiming she was there. However, check out this awesome picture of Matt R. here. And you can see smiller in his short shorts! Which I demanded that he wear.

Big concert in the park after work! Four Eyes, Shruggs, Enlows, Secretions. Can't wait!

Kenneth Anger film fest!

Soooo....the Friday night concert in Cesar Chavez Park is pretty bitchin' this week. Four Eyes, Enlows, Shruggs, Secretions. Crazy tweaker dancing, natch.

Mark you calendars! Right now! Get out a PEN, not a pencil and mark July 22nd as the First Annual Kenneth Anger Film Fest and Weenie Roast at The Hub. Me and Liv are going to host this fun and Satanic and homoerotic evening. Capes encouraged, although it will probably be one million degrees by then. Linen capes? Cape and bikini ensemble? More info to follow.

barrellchested bullshit

Yay! Tiny carrots!

Only the Bee could try to put a positive spin on this. It's not on the online addition, but the print headline contains a subheader that asks if this is good. And Breton was quick to chime in with a smarmy column about that "barrelchested bull of a man" Stan Thomas. If such a macho man can't get this development pushed through, who can?

Where the Little Sur meets the sea

I went to the Woodsist fest this weekend in Big Sur at the Henry Miller library. The Mantles ruled, we missed the Art Museums, The Fresh and Only's were really good, Kurt Vile was good and Eat Skull Skip Spence'd it up. Some of the other bands were not so great and the energy of the show overall was really low. The crowd in attendance decidedly did not know how to party. They were playing at dressing like hippies, but were very subdued. What is a hippy fest with no hippy dancing? What is the sound of one hippy dancing? If a dancing hippy falls in the forest and no one is around, did it even happen?

I made ice cream the other day. Two kinds: chocolate and coffee. I'll print the recipes soon. They are both from Joy of Cooking and they are both the bomb. The coffee ice cream has a strong coffee flavor. Here's the chocolate base, in your face.
Here's my ice cream maker that I got at Sun Thrift.
It's good to be Frost King.
Here's the chocolate ice cream. Maybe a bit too soft but my arm was tired!

Big Sur!

These flowers were at Big Sur Bakery.

Now these hippies knew how to party. With salami.
Kurt Vile and his pretty, pretty hair. He should get a sponsorship deal with Pantene.
Breakfast at Cafe Kevah, the place that is next to Nepenthe. It was quite a scene there in the morning, with all the fake hippies from the night before showing up and pretending that they had partied really hard.
Then we went to Andrew Molera state park and unbeknownst to me, found another spot in Big Sur that takes shit to the next level. How many spots like that can one place have? It's like a 20 minute walk to the beach through terrain like this:

Even though it was a warm day, the beach was hella misty. Andrew Molera beach has all these sturdy driftwood shacks everywhere. If you are lucky you can lay claim to a shack and chill there.


The Little Sur River meets the ocean at this beach and even though it was cold I just had to swim in it. I couldn't not swim in it, even though there were scary blue crawdads.