Monday, December 12, 2005

tell us about the show!

I don't have a lot so far this morning, but I would LOVE to see a post from miller about the saturday night spectacular featuring lyme regis and the losin' streaks in nevada city. I know he works hard for his money, so he may not have time.

The Calvin Johnson/Tender Forever show was a bit of an endurance test. Tender Forever really rubbed me the wrong way when she yanked my scarf off my neck, practically strangling me in the process, and then put it in a pile on the stage with other stuff she had stolen off of people (shoes, etc.). Then she played for like a million more years and my neck was cold and I couldn't leave without looking like I was storming out (everyone was sitting down and I was at the very front) and I was petrified with fear that I was going to have to struggle with her if she tried to take my purse. And I'm sorry, it's all well and good for me to make fun of America but she was wearing a Journey shirt and had riot grrrl hair circa 1993 so who is she to make fun of anyone? And her music sounded sort of like she could sell a song to Pink or Xtina if they wanted to record a song with a punk edge that still has a positive uplifting chorus. Hated it! Then Calvin came on and it was what I expected. I enjoyed the between song banter more than the songs and he had a Q and A session in the middle. It's nice to see that in the year 2005 he is still making young kids get uncomfortable and leave when he starts interpretive dancing.

28 comments:

werenotdeep said...

Calvin was far and away the best part of the evening.

I sort of missed some of her hijinks. I thought she was funny, but the subject matter of her jokes, it was like she really took it way too seriously and personally, like she had a chip on her shoulder about it. I was also way at the back and safe from having stuff taken from me. Poor Katy got bonked on the head with the microphone repeatedly.

I think these kinds of audience participation acts should be met with full retaliation. Fight back. It's not about getting your stuff taken from you for a short amount of time, it's about having your personal space violated for absolutely no good reason at all.

Furthermore, if there was any group of Americans to whom she was least justified for tacking a heavy "you all eat hamburgers too much" guilt trip, it's the group of kids coming to a Calvin Johnson show. Basically, preaching to the choir, or rather, ripping on the choir.

I guess because I came in late and didn't have to have anything taken from me, she didn't rub me as bad as the first guy did. He was sorta okay-ish too, but just an awkward human being.

Anonymous said...

She really made me want a hamburger! Hot Rod's had other plans for me unfortunately. All I'm saying is if you have a fetish that involves standing in an unmoving line for 20 minutes, that's your spot.

miller

werenotdeep said...

God, I know! She was making me so hungry! Miller, I gotta make you one of my bacon Cheeseburgers one of these days. Ask G-Bomb. They're out of sight.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, another one from the Olympia set that uses a live music show as an opportunity to lecture Sacramentans on the errors of their ways? I'm just not surprised anymore. I've got major beef with some of these dudes. It's so annoying that one one hand they are continually "breaking down the barriers" between audience and performer when they take your scarf and put it on stage or urge you to stand closer to the front, then they go and undo it all by showing how much better/enlightened/smarter they are by giving a lecture on how we eat too many hamburgers. To me, there's nothing more distancing than that.
Niki

Anonymous said...

WTF? I only got a cheeseburger. Why do you deny me bacon? It was truly delicious, though.

gbomb

alice said...

maybe next time a pretentious olympian comes to town we should just openly refer to the show as a "lecture" or a "seminar" in front of the performers. i actually haven't been to any of the shows with the worst offenders. i seem to always have something else going on. but, shit man, i would have a hard time biting my tongue in that situation. i might even flip someone off.

Anonymous said...

I agree with C.O. about that'preacing to the converted'tactic - very gutless. I love when performers think that an art space filled with twenty polite kids is the fucking lion's den. Pull that shit at Harlows or the Boardwalk and then I'll be impressed with your chutzpah.

-Patrone

werenotdeep said...

I must not have had any bacon that day. But just imagine if it had had bacon! With a sandwich like that, I might one day rule the world, and then I'll have those puny, snivelling French at my feet. Oh you, you and your cremes and pastries. HAUX HAUX HAUX!!

Anonymous said...

Oh hoh hoh, but you should alzo imagine - if you can, zat she was from France & was questioning zee French sterotypes zat you Americans have towards zee French & zey are all wrong & I don't know why you would have them but I would like to point out zat maybe you Americans talk the way you do because your mouth is always full of zee hamburgers.

All the way from France & she still 100% emulated everything lame & uncomfortably preachy about the worst of Olympia!

miller

werenotdeep said...

So she most definately does NOT emulate a 12 pack of Oly.

That'd go good with one of my cheeseburgers, though, I think.

Anonymous said...

I should add that I did think Calvin was pretty good & I think he still has it. And he was pretty funny (on purpose even!) between songs.

miller

Anonymous said...

When I lived in Olympia, I never went to see Calvin because the first time I did I felt like I was witnessing a creepy cult gathering with all the kids sitting cross-legged and politely attentive while he preached about, among other things, how unattractive it is for women to smoke! I only showed up because I had never been to the fool's foundation and I wanted to check it out. Tender Forever went on forever (and was anything but tender) // Are all shows so preschool there, or was that just a result of the preachy Olympians?

ez

werenotdeep said...

I'm going to have to re-watch the Holy Grail, but I think that crediting it as the source of the "Oh ho ho!" (or haux haux haux) clichet I think might not be correct. Does John Cleese ever actually go "Oh ho ho!" during that whole sequence? I think it might be time to check that out. I do know for a fact, since I have neices and nephews, that the French chef in the Little Mermaid very boisterously belts out a hefty "Oh ho ho!" during his song about cooking fish.

Anonymous said...

Am I reading something that implies that the worst of Olympia is a 12 pack of Oly? For reals? Cause that is libel. Not only is Oly a delicious treat but there are so many worse things about Olympia.

Miss B

werenotdeep said...

No, you were reading the exact opposite. Smiller said that that French girl personifies the WORST of Olympia, so I said that she definately DOES NOT personify a 12'er of Oly, as in Oly is good, and since she only personifies that which is BAD about Olympia, she can't represent Oly. Get it? Good.

katymonster said...

meh. she didn't really hit me on the head. just pretended. actually, she had her hand between me and the mic and at one point said "holy fuck you've got soft hair". no kidding. guess that's what happens when you wash it.

i'll give y'all the delivery was poor. but, i actually kind of dug the songs. they were guilt-lite.

werenotdeep said...

It's Maurice Chevalier. That's where it comes from is effing Chevalier. An actual Frenchman! SO TAKE THAT, TENDER FOREVER!

Anonymous said...

OK Olsen, here's what we do. We call up Tender Forever, ask her back, and the second she makes that "Oh hoh hoh" joke, you stand up, take a bite of a hamburger, school her on Chevalier & then we pull the plug!

miller

leon said...

I think the most insulting thing you could do to Tender Forever is add her as a friend in myspace. I think that's what she told the audience.

werenotdeep said...

I like both of those ideas!

Anonymous said...

Create a Maurice Chevalier myspace profile, add her as a friend, & leave "oh hoh hoh!" in her comments every day.

miller

beckler said...

I forgot about that myspace thing. That was so assy.

leon said...

But then again, maybe she was using some reverse psychology shit on us, and really wants everyone to add her as a myspace friend.

Anyhoo: link to her myspace profile

werenotdeep said...

Don't do it. Even if it wasn't reverse psychology, the worst thing you could do to anyone, expecially a performing artist of any kind, is totally ignore them.

werenotdeep said...

Except Scott's Maurice Chevalier profile idea, that's the best thing I've ever heard. Do that!

Tender Forever said...

Hello Everybody,

It is a little sad to read all those comments. It is sad not for me, but just sad for music, in general. I don't think i've been hurting anyone that night. I don't think that i locked the door to keep everybody inside. I hate when people walked on tip toes to get out, i wish they could stand proud and leave. I love people, i loved sacramento and i remember your scarf. There are so many comments that are sad in this blog entry. So sad. I wish that it was just about music. If you felt kidnapped and violated i'm sorry. But i didn't start the "oh oh oh" - I wish you could come in my country, play a show and make fun of my people. I'll be in front laughing at myself with my fist in the air, for sure.
Take it easy. Please.
It is too bad. But guess what, i'll come back and next time we'll talk about it.

love,
Melanie - Tender Forever

Anonymous said...

Hello Everybody,

It is a little sad to read all those comments. It is sad not for me, but just sad for music, in general. I don't think i've been hurting anyone that night. I don't think that i locked the door to keep everybody inside. I hate when people walked on tip toes to get out, i wish they could stand proud and leave. I love people, i loved sacramento and i remember your scarf. There are so many comments that are sad in this blog entry. So sad. I wish that it was just about music. If you felt kidnapped and violated i'm sorry. But i didn't start the "oh oh oh" - I wish you could come in my country, play a show and make fun of my people. I'll be in front laughing at myself with my fist in the air, for sure.
Take it easy. Please.
It is too bad. But guess what, i'll come back and next time we'll talk about it.

love,
Melanie - Tender Forever

takemybreath said...
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