Wednesday, December 28, 2005

OK, fine!

Ahhhh! I can't stand it anymore! December 23rd hits & suddenly the internet's like "I'm on vacation - see you next year". That is not working out for me! I tried to make work in to an experiment & the results were: "actually working for the whole 8 hours blows". Just as I suspected. So now I'm forced to try & drum up some action myself. Becky's on vacation so I'm not even getting any emails (except for the relentless democratic party ones - they're on a roll right now! I swear John Kerry's emailed me 5 times today). Maybe a game is in order. Here are the rules: everyone with a fucking blog, website, whatever please post something and make it long and funny & include pictures!! This is where the Sac Rag chimes in & is all "here's a link to Sac Rag - we've been posting all day!". Look, I'm not looking for a link to the Bee website or some story about how the mall was crazy last week, OK?!. (that right there is called "drumming up some action" because you know Cool DMZ can't let that go unanswered). And how about Sacramento's most prolific blogger Mr. Daniel Barnesyard? WTF?! Where art thou, bra? I know you've been watching movies cuz I can smell it in the next room. Olsen's (or is it Olson?)posting but he's just enduring some guy in Malaysia who's flirting with him. Trust me Olsen, that long distance shit never works out.
OK, what happened this weekend? The annual Christmas party ruled as always. Everyone came to dance & the DJing was great - my personal favorite being Old School Levy whom I had to convince to stay because he didn't want to wait anymore for the DJ before him to finish - but you know how it is. DJs are in permanent "I just have one more song" mode & you gotta stand there and, like, tap your watch or start harassing them with Beatles requests until they get the clue. But yeah, he went on & ruled it & once again I was convinced that my true calling in life is "party director". And DJ Red Red Wine got a real set this time unlike last year when he got stuck with the 4:00 AM - 5:00 AM set where his audience was me cleaning up & someone passed out on the couch. Christmas eve I was hung over & had to finish Christmas shopping & then go to my extended family Christmas thing. I tried to get a nap in but this guy who lives next door in the Tweaker Arms recently got a leaf blower & let me tell you, he loves it! Becks can back me up on this - he wandered around with that thing on for 2 solid hours. No wait, of course he turned it off twice just long enough for me to be all "FINALLY!" only to turn it back on. This guy doesn't even know he has a comedy career but I swear, the more you watch this guy "blow" leaves, the funnier it gets (unless you're me in which case it drives you in to a rage & you fantasize about how you're gonna kidnap that thing if only they would EVER go to sleep over there). He blows a little spot & then stops & thinks about it & then turns around & blows a different spot & then he inexplicably goes in to the street & starts blowing there & his coup de grace is blowing some leaves back on to the original spot he cleared. I'm not joking when I say this is an amount of leaves that could be raked in about 10 minutes. 2 HOURS!! I have to fight the urge to be all "here, let me show you how to use that". I realize he'll never beat the Head's neighbor who was raking his roof but it's still pretty amazing. So yeah, no hangover nap but I always like seeing my family who I only get to see once a year. The kids are finally at an age where I can talk to them. I was a gift from God (aka an accident) so everyone in my family is at least 7 years older or younger than me (mostly a lot more than that) so right about now I get either retirement conversations or tales from high school which I prefer. I know about a sweet New Years party if you're interested. My aunt lives on 4 acres so I went on a walk & I suddenly smelled weed really strong. My cousins are finally upholding a tradition that's been dormant since my sister was young! Personally, I would hate to be stoned around my family but that's the glory of the pre-self-conscious years. And it ruled watching my cousins look through this epic Christmas Eve family reunion book that my uncle put together that has pictures from every family Christmas get together from 1961 to present. There'll be some picture of their mom in 1994 & they start howling & going "DAMN, mom looks HELLA old school!" and then, as it gets in to the 80's, they start going "this is back in the DAY!". By the time it gets to the 70's all they can do is marvel at how crappy the TV's look. I swear, there were 3 pictures that had a TV in the background & they would see it & say "I would die if I had that!". Whatever kids, Atari ruled. And then it was the big day. I went to my mom's with Becky - which consisted of my mom, me, Becks, my mom's boyfriend, his sister, her husband & their son. Everyone but me & my mom was jewish so the mystical convergence of chanukah & christmas had spirits higher than usual. Jewish people are mad for talking about all things jewish so there was a lot of that going on. Some football player would come on the screen to the announcement "he's jewish you know" and my mom's boyfriend's sister's husband (that's the last time I'm writing that - his name's Dick OK) brough this CD called "Chanukah Rocks!" that was by some group of dudes that are in other bands & this is their side project. It sounded like The Rentals or something & all the songs were about like, the dilemma of whether you should put sour cream or applesauce on your latkas. There was so much jewish talk that when Dick asked for a towel, my mom said "what's a tovel?" thinking he'd just asked for some special chanukah thing. Speaking of latkas (which are like potato pancakes), the big plan was to make them. Ronnie (my mom's boyfriend's sister - fuck, get married already mom!) had somehow never made them before & she wanted her & my mom to make them together. They kept talking about it. Finally it was time & Becky offered to help - but within about 2 minutes, my mom & Ronnie had stopped helping & just drank wine & watched Becky. I felt bad for her but she was making me look so good I was psyched! My mom's boyriend's family clearly loves her. She busted out though & they were great & applesauce is the answer to the Chanukah Rocks question. Anyway, it was really fun & pretty relaxing as far as my Christmases usually go. I'm glad it's over though. Christmas is too much pressure! OK, I've done my part (I think) - now someone please entertain me!!



werenotdeep said...

Oh man. It never even occured to me that that dude might be family. I did pick up on the flirting thing, though. I thought it was musical/scene-related, though. Notice I gave major press to at least three bands that you're in/have been in. Church.

I just did a "What I got for Christmas" post, that also includes my run-down on my names for US Paper Currency, and some MST3K talk.

Anonymous said...

It's not every day that the Ski Instructors get a shout-out! We actually want to play a show soon if possible. I was gonn run it by G-Bomb since she couldn't find a band for her new years party but now that she's too cool to have a party, I guess we'll just have to find something else. Not that we're the greatest new years band anyway.

That guy totally wants your "jangly thangs" man.


Anonymous said...

Just get a band that covers "New Years Day" by U2 and "party like its 1999" by U3.

Anonymous said...

Or maybe the 4-Eyes (I just made a typo that said $-Eyes) can just make that a medley. Which, come to think of it, is my request for next year's Christmas show. I demand that next year's theme is all medleys!! All request medleys that is.


werenotdeep said...

I've had perfectly straight guys act all googley like that, though, usually pop scene people, and it's creepy. I like it if they like Munia, but I sorta get some kind of self-indulgant thrill that I have a life that goes beyond those realms.

The man I fall in love with has to play the bass saxophone. No exceptions.

deeann said...

Here's something. I don't know how funny it is but please feel free to make fun of some old pics I posted of Lurch & me by request of Charles here at:

Anonymous said...

the pictures are awesome!

You guys looked like extras in some 80's movie that need some punk/alternative types to give the film some street cred.

this made me think "Will my pictures from the 90's make me look like some extra in some 90's movie?". I was a metal dude for a few years (well on the outside that is. now I keep it on the inside). thats pretty extra like.

Chairman for the committe to bring becky back to heckasac, even though we really like millers posts

ps. millers new blog: Millers Posts
pps scott when are going to meet up this week and make $-Eyes shirts. and can I be on the front of the shirt with a keyboard in my hands?

deeann said...

'80's extras... I like it! Some pics (like of the very short lived "Van Halen" era on my part, pre-Lurch) will not being seen on the interweb so you're actually gonna have to bring your bad self over sometime.

So yeah- miller, when are ya gonna start your own blog thingy-thang?

Charles- weren't you like 5 or something when the last Miller's Outpost closed down? J/K.

If you guys want more dumb stuff to read I made an entry linking to some of the older stuff on my blog.

Anonymous said...

I'm willing to bet that the Miller's Outpost joke was unintentional - seeing as how Charles is something of an unintentional genius. Once he starts thinking too hard - that's when there's trouble. Come to think of it, I had almost forgotten about Miller's Outpost myself. Why, it's been years since I've been called that every single day. Beam me up Scotty Miller's Outpost High Life.


DB said...

That was video game weed you've been smelling, not movie weed. Common mistake.

deeann said...

Miller, unintentional? Dang- that's even more impressive and now I'm really scared of Charles. He will become our overlord some day.

Oh yeah- I meant to write this earlier. I think a leafblower "liberation" is in order. Or some sort of sabotage. Sometimes here in the fake 'burbs our neighbors start getting way too happy with the chainsaws. And it lasts all day long.

And your x-mas tree frightens me. I think in the "I'll swallow your soul" kind of way.

db- I hope I didn't scare you off a few days ago with dropping off the DVD and all. Actually maybe it's probably best you don't actually review it so no one thinks you're a studio ho or anything like that.

Hey- Lurch just came back from Video Clearance Center with "Robo Man" (The Kill Machine with the Megaton Mind) on VHS. Sweet!

DB said...

Free movies never scare fact, I believe them to be my god-given right. And if the film was lousy, I would no doubt tear it to ribbons. But I liked it. Don't worry, The Barnesyard will be back soon, better than ever. I'm just going through an end-of-the-year, introspective, beard-growing phase right now.

Anonymous said...

"Hey- Lurch just came back from Video Clearance Center with 'Robo Man' (The Kill Machine with the Megaton Mind) on VHS. Sweet!"

Hell yeah I know what a woman wants.


Stephen Glass said...

Even more importantly, whatever became of those two guys from the Miller's Outpost TV spots? They're to me inseparable from the chain of clothing outlets themselves. I thought I saw the duo years ago when I was having a bad drug experience, but it turned out to be just some sort of weird reflection. Or swamp gas.

deeann said...

I think I *kind* of remember them, but not what they looked like. Were they the guys with the "Gold Rush" era thing or am I thinking of something else?

Either way it looks like they got replaced with two guys and a girl.

And I just found out Miller's Outpost is still (kind of) around in some towns! They renamed it to "Anchor Blue".

Unknown said...

i fully enjoyed Red Wine's 4-5am slot last year!

and i'm so glad you got Levy to stick around this year. the dj of the night!

here are pictures and a short recap:

Anonymous said...

Dude, did it ever occur to you (Mr High Life) that I am unintentional intentionally? Furthermore, I'll have you know I bough my first flannel shirt from miller's out post in 1993. thank you. good night.


ps. the MegaCools play on KDVS toinght at 11pm. everyone will get laid if they tune in to hear me sing.

cooldmz said...

i'll get you for that smiller!!!!!

Anonymous said...

12/30/2005 06:00 PM - The Brickhouse
2837 36th Street, Sacramento, CA 95817,US - $3.00 or donation

MIKE GUIS MEMORIAL/BENEFIT SHOW! Friday, 12/30...all funds to go to Mike's Mom, Harriet

The Brick House Gallery
2837 36th Street
Sacramento, CA
$3 or donation (dont be a cheap scumfuck!)

Bands that have confirmed:

MDL (Groundchucks band)
The Dulangs ( Kendon & Reggie's Band)
Escapement (Stephens band)
Rosey Palms (Anna's band)
Armed Force Radio (will confirm tonight since Mike use to drum in this band)
Knifethruhead (Kenny, Kevin, Devin, Matt & Jason's band)