Tuesday, January 30, 2007

vice guide

I've read it before, but I had forgotten how funny the vice guide to everything is.

1 comment:

beckler said...

this one is cracking me up:

DOs & DON’Ts—The basic rules of fashion
The basic rule is: You have to be at least a little uncomfortable.

We are in an epoch right now when everyone is determined to be at a sleepover. Nobody can endure any discomfort whatsoever, not even for a moment. If a woman goes out on a limb and gets dressed up one night, she punishes the world by wearing tracksuit bottoms and flip-flops for days after. If a man feels even slightly warm he takes his shirt off and lets the whole world see his hairy tits. Back in Victorian times, we were wearing three-piece suits and top hats in the middle of July. Can we not have at least a modicum of discipline? It’s not that hard. Men just need to stay away from belly tattoos, chokers, cargo shorts, combat pants, umbrellas (under any circumstances), coloured sunglasses, long hair, tribal tattoos, wool hats, and piercings. Women need to avoid platform flip-flops, belly-button piercings, toe rings, cleavage, low-riding jeans if they’re chubby (we’re mainly talking to British and Italians), thongs, shirts made to look like tattoos, cowboy hats, fake tans, and Von Dutch.