Thursday, May 29, 2008

my fluffy biscuits

I'm listening to an advance copy of the Ancient Sons album "The Dark Gospel", and it's really good. Super trippy, a bit of a mind fuck. They have a bunch of shows coming up.

Well I can pretty much say without a hint of exaggeration that The Fiery Furnaces is the best band that has ever or ever will exist, and I'll just leave it at that. I mean, I suppose that sometime in the future, genetic engineering could produce a more perfect band but I probably won't live to see it.

I'm using this forum to make an important announcement: I will be selling my world famous buttermilk biscuits at the Talk About Charles yardsale at 21st and D on saturday, starting at around 10:30 or 11. I'm making them all up fresh that morning, so I'll get there as soon as I can. It will be a dollar per biscuit. You will want to buy some to take home. My biscuits are FLUFFY. My biscuits are SOFT. My biscuits are FLAKY and DELICIOUS. I'm sure some readers of this blog could offer testimonials.

In fact, this saturday is shaping up to be pretty damn perfect. It's the Sierra 2 sale. Or wait, it's a neighborhood yard sale day? Is that the same thing? Anyway, go here and they have a PDF map that shows you where the yardsales are happening. So you could cruise over to that, come buy some biscuits, go over to the Rubicon for the Maibock festival, find a designated driver, head over to the DAM house for Pure Pop Perfection, and there you go.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can attest to the perfection of these biscuits. They are the Fiery Furnaces of buttermilk biscuits. Best biscuits I've ever had.

H. Conway Esq.

Anonymous said...

I've never had your biscuits, but it sounds like you're trying to call me out.

-skpr

beckler said...

I heard you biscuits are ok, but nothing special.

Anonymous said...

I take exception to that! I will now be setting up a table at the Talk About Charles yardsale with four kinds of biscuits with a Thermos of white gravy.

-skpr

beckler said...

c'mon dude, peddle your biscuits elsewhere. i am in this for the money. do you want me to have to sell plasma? or smiller's sperm?
p.s.-if anyone wants a vial of this primo stuff (also known as "white gravy", i think i have one in my desk somewheres

Anonymous said...

zing! Now I can't come. You've outted the prime ingredient to the "white gravy." Now I'll only be able to sell to my roommate and the freaks.
btw (by the way)~your eggs would sell better.

-skpr

beckler said...

nope, i'm too old to sell eggs now.

Charles said...

The yard sale starts at 8am, but I was thinking bands will start at 12pm. Buscuits may start at anytime, but they sound like a mourning thing.

Will you need a table heckabec?

The bbq may start before then and the wine tasting is at 1pm. Also, there maybe a special surprise appearance of Frosty the Snowman's Jamaican cousin Rasty the SnowMON.

Charles

Anonymous said...

The Sierra II flea market has been replaced FOREVER by this fucked up yard sale thing. BULLLLLSHIT.

I'll be at Denios.

Ella

Anonymous said...

Will Boxy be there?

-miller

Anonymous said...

whats all this talk about boxy?

beckler said...

I heard that boxy and reggae monkey are going to have a toasting contest.

Anonymous said...

I heard it was a bogarding contest.

-miller

Liv Moe said...

your biscuits are pbp - pure biscuit perfection! especially when eaten with spicy chicken wings.

Anonymous said...

Your biscuits are very tasty. It's true. I would buy one for a dollar.
Talk about Charles,if you're out there, can I also try and sell something at your yard sale? (not biscuits) (not my eggs either). Craigslist has failed me.
Maybe heckasac can email me your email so I can ask directly.
jamattack!

Anonymous said...

I need to know what rasty the snowMON is. I demand answers. Speaking of unlikely answers, I'm ready to get fucking lost as shit tonight. I'm dresing up. I won't say who I'm dressing up as though. I can say that watching the bonus footage from last week's episode isn't exactly my... Primary objective.


Heckalilmax

smitty said...

Skipper bring the spicy chicken wings!

Madeline said...

I am very sad that I move to Sacramento the day AFTER the talk about charles yard sale. especially since I don't own anything.

Heckamad.

beckler said...

hackalilmax-you have to stop by our lost bbq in character!! we will be roasting a wild boar marinated in dharma box wine.

Charles said...

ANything we don't sell madeline, you can have.

Rosty the SnowMON is Frosty the Snowman's Jamican cousin. He makes a tasty tropical drink that anyone can have at the yardsale called 'tropical slush'.

anyone may come and sell stuff at the yardsale. Jay and the Head will be here.

F the Curtis Park Yard sales! This is Boulevard Park! The new Curits Park.

Charles

Anonymous said...

I called the cops for the millionth time on the speed dealing neighbor last night. Our place was broken into a few weeks ago by one of her customers so I lost any patience for her. This call wasn't for dealing, but leaving her 7 year old alone when she walked off. "Luckily" the cops told her that this apartment has been watching her. We listened to a 90 minute freakout on the porch when she called her friends from outside our door so we would have to listen (her words) and said we did it because we're racist cracker peckerwoods jealous over her better life, and that there's 6 of us living here like a bunch of Mexicans. She said she'd have her friends break in some more.

The landlord won't evict her since he says it's my word vs her word. The Dept of Fair Housing said to call Neighborhood Services only that number doesn't work. Any ideas?

Should I propose to her since she's cute but crazy? Or dress like Col Sanders while drinking a mint julep on the front porch and talk to her in a southern accent?

Signed, The Narc

Anonymous said...

I like sweet tea.

narc-luver

Anonymous said...

The Narc,

I would de-escalate the situation asap. There is no way this can turn out good for you. Tell her that you'll leave her alone if she leaves you alone.

Or propose to her.

-your friend

wburg said...

This Saturday seems like the serious weekend for yard sales...there's going to be a fairly serious one on 23rd Street between P and Q, at the house of Joe Colley's mom.

I'm going to try to make it to both of these fine opportunities to reduce the already limited space in my house allocated to useless but entertaining crap, but I have a tentative date to go sling some lead downrange for the first time in several years, so I'll probably have to cut the yard-sale action short so I can go pow pow.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of "Lost", who gets iced in tonight's episode? The Barnesyard's top 3 is Juliet, Jin, and Keamy.

-DB

Anonymous said...

fight against darkness on the porch. like 7.

Anonymous said...

Take a broom and hit your roof with it. Then take some scorpions "rock you like a hurricane" or any 80`s rock and aim the speakers up.Turn it to eleven.While doing this work on your motorbike in the middle of your living room.When she comes to complain then propose to her.
J

wburg said...

J is correct, tweakers worship Klaus Meine as a deity and will not defile or deface any home where "Blackout" is playing at top volume.

beckler said...

spoiler alert to all heckamaxes----

I'm just glad lapidus made it out

Cody said...

****MAJOR SPOILER ALERT****

Who was it who predicted Sawyer would call Lapidus Jimmy Buffet? Were you surprised as I was when he called him Kenny Rogers?

And hey Armeniac - did you notice Walt sounded like your Mike Bibby/Michael V. impression?

beckler said...

I predicted that. Kenny Rogers is more a physical resemblance, Jimmy Buffet more of a lifestyle resemblance. I imagine that in his life back home, Lapidus gives tourists helicopter rides over the Florida Keys, drinks too many pina coladas, and occasionally bangs a local bartender who looks like Ellen Barkin. I think I just pitched an idea for a movie. Maybe he gets mixed up in a scheme to smuggle drugs from Cuba in his helicopter?

smitty said...

If they give him a chimpanzee co-pilot, I'd start watching Lost.

Anonymous said...

Dear Narc,
what can you say? Nobody likes a Narc. Not even the police, that's probably why they tipped off your neighbor that you were watching them.
That's no fucking good. And you'll probably get ripped off again and again and the police will be of no help, even if you give them a description of the thief and their whereabouts.
Your other nieghbors may even know who did it but will be reluctant to step forward in fear of retaliation.
The pigs don't give a fuck about you because you're not rich, you live next to a bunch of tweakers for chrisakes.
Therefore, you should do what any smart longterm ghetto dweller would do. Get a dog. And not a pussy-ass pug or chihuahua either, you need a good size dog like a lab, boxer, german shepp or a pit.
Get something with a good bark and make shure they stay in your house while you and your room mates are gone.
In Del Paso Hieghts, every family on our block had dogs.
My youngest brother has been living in Oak Park for the last 9 years. He has valuable gear at his pad and has never been ripped off. It's because he has two pit bulls hanging around, they're better than a burglar alarm.

Larry