gee whillikers

Oh boy oh boy oh boy Satan Wriders and 2014 at Café Colonial on Wednesday. Come see the stars of this NPR story and peep what this hip Stockton scene is all about!

zines! and Doug!

Wow, this article on Doug B. and the history of zines is one of the best interviews I've ever read and it really brings a tear to the eye. Besides the cool fact that Scott gets mentioned as the guy who was instrumental in getting distro for a lot of music zines and a  picture of MikeRMike as a young buck, it makes me think about what zines meant to me in a pre-internet world and the fact that Doug could be said to have directly shaped who I am today.

 

Maximum Rock and Roll led me to the Cattle Club which led me to the Loft which led me to almost every single (god might even be every) close friend or even acquaintance (and husband!) I have today. Don't laugh but Morrissey zines led me to a way out of my desperately lost teen years and a way to leave Lincoln. My first kiss was with a wonderful guy I met while touring around California following Morrissey. It was a beautiful experience and I floated around on air for days. The crew of people I was hanging with were people that I met from writing to them because they wrote Morrissey zines. I never would have gone by myself and couldn't have afforded to because I crashed on their floors and carpooled.

 

Not to mention the mind-expanding, sometimes hilarious, sometimes scary zines Roller Derby, Dishwasher, Cometbus, Murder Can Be Fun, Grand Royal, Fat So?, Boiled Angel, Answer Me!, Ben Is Dead, Punk Planet, Rocktober (falls on the hilarious side if I remember correctly), ThriftScore! (before I had ever thrifted) and more I'm forgetting. I'm pretty sure I leafed through the one of girls smoking that Doug mentions! I'll throw in re/search, pranks was my favorite one, but I loved strange music and the modern primitives one was insane.

 

These zines introduced me to kinds of people that I never knew existed, people who did things I couldn't understand, and some people who were living a life that was free and exciting in a way I wanted to emulate. Weirdos, hipsters, freaks, perverts, punks, free speech boundary pushers, counterculture lifers, militant feminists, dumpster divers (oh yeah, wasn't there a mag about that?), backpack world travelers, people who lived for music, people who hung themselves up from fucking hooks for sexual pleasure!?!?!?, and I would say almost 100% people who didn't give a fuck about money or how it related to living their life - and I sure had none at the time or for a long time after. They were people who lived how they wanted and did what they wanted, and found a community, often through zines, of people who wanted those same things too, no matter how unusual. And I found my community too, although none of you have ever pounded nails through your genitals to my knowledge.

 

So thanks, Doug. Not only do you enrich my life now as a friend and one of my favorite artists, but you changed it then.

 

And YES, I once wrote a zine called Pinky that I never distributed and that I think might be in the basement and which I cannot bring myself to look at.

 

calypso cola guy

I woke up with the 2014 song "big weight" in my head, which then switched to an endless loop of knock knock "where the world won't end" that at this point I wish I could get out.

 

More stock photos!

 

Look how scary these three are! Are they going to train you or stab you with scissors in the eye?

 

stock photos

 

I've been taking some online professional development courses today (no wait, don't fall asleep yet!) There are some very funny stock photos in these things. Look at that poor passive person on the left!

 

 How would you like if your boss made sensei-type hand gestures like the ones on the left



 Which of these are stereotypes and which are totally true?

I don't know, passive guy looks kind of nice.

King of Jerry Day

It seems wrong that it costs more to stay in Portland than Tokyo. It's funny that other countries get reps for being expensive but I think the accommodations here are really high. Over a couple of week trip to a country with cheap lodgings you could save the same amount a plane ticket would cost to get there. A trip on the Cali coast vs. a trip to Mexico and you could easily save enough to fly to Mexico. And I'm talking airbnb! Forget a hotel! The semi-crappy Ace in Portland is almost 300 a night. Still, stoked as hell to be going there and at least fancy-ish food and beer is cheaper there.

Jerry Day was Jerry Day all the way, as usual. We got there at noon, which is the earliest I've ever been. I wish DP could have been there, or at least could have skyped in. There were a few intense acid burnouts, lots of amazing shirts, and a fascinating kingpin guy that was running a whole area, posing with everybody with a full-sized skeleton in a pirate hat that he had brought with him, pouring cranberry juice all around, and other gladhanding activities. We couldn't figure out who he was but he was fun to watch. He was the king of Jerry Day.

America's Favorite Funnyman

 

Tonight you should cancel everything.....Neil Hamburgerrrrrrr's in town! Tonight at 9 at the Comedy Spot, 12 bucks. It will probably sell out.

 

Tomorrow: Mantles and Knock Knock at Witch Room! What a bill!

grocery musings

Crazy. They announced a Whole Foods at 20th and L today in the Bee. We were discussing it last night and Smiller was saying it was going on the R street corridor, which I either didn't know or had forgotten. I wonder if that deal fell through?

I have mixed emotions, of course, since Whole Foods is a lame chain, but def leaning towards positive. A big Sacramento bucket list item for me has been a market I can walk to. It will hurt the Sac co-op but I don't want to say I hate that co-op but I haven't been there in over a year. Possibly leaning towards two years. I shop at the Davis one and I will shop there less, but it's very successful and it won't hurt that business. In contrast, when Trader Joe's first opened in Davis it cut business by 10%, but the co-op had smartly made a contingency plan for just such a drop.

Judging by the spokesman's comments in the Bee today, the Sac co-op is of course bummed, but they've made some dumbass decisions financially and that's their fault. They are probably still recovering financially from that Elk Grove store that closed. I'm not sure the reason for the SNC move, but it seems stupid. I guess if the store is bigger they could make more.

I will probably shop at Taylor's a bit less, but that family practically mints money with that place, and any time I want a bottle of wine for dinner I will hit up Taylor's. The Whole Food's selection is not to my taste at all.

Jerry Day is this Sunday! There is a lot of other stuff going on this weekend so I haven't been thinking about that but it's pretty monumental! Can't wait! Scott brought me a new Bertha tanker from Deadnet for my birthday.

thank jah

Thank god my pesky 30s are over. All that annoying youth and vitality! How did I stand it?  The Archbishop took some video of the Bright Ideas. Top notch! Look for a guest appearance of me at the end with a beer attached to me like an appendage. Oh wait, ha ha ha it's mineral water! I was wondering what the hell bottle of beer I could have been drinking.

 

 

retrospection

Last day of my 30s! Smiller was joking that I'd wake up to a moving van. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal, partially because I have been thinking of myself as 40. JBB said that didn't work for him but it seemed to for me. I am really lucky to be 40 and wake every day with no aches and pains whatsoever and healthy. I am really grateful for that, knock on wood.

It's funny, a couple of people who I told I'm turning 40 have said "congratulations!" Like, for not being dead?

One worry of mine, which is trivial in the grand scheme is that I have some young person interests and I know inevitably I will be too old for them, but then again, my interests have always just shaped over time naturally and it's dumb to worry about stuff like that. I will probably just go to more plays, less clubs. Nothing about DJing or going out or seeing bands and shows makes me feel unwelcome cuz I'm wayyyy older than the other people. At least with seeing bands there are a few people who will probably always go to shows that are older than me, but with rap I am definitely the oldest person at heckarap.

One of the more annoying things about getting old for me is kind of melding together different eras and thinking something is "recent" when it was like 12 years ago. I think that's an aging thing I will probably get used to. It didn't start happening until less than two years ago. It's like 2000 was such a big change that in my mind it will never be that long ago even though it's been 14 years.

As for writing, I'm about 85% over it, but I am excited about the Bee for now. I have a pretty big cocktail piece coming out in the SNR too.  But I'm over the grind and way more stoked on just repeat visits to places I love. Like Whitey's for  my birthday! The Whitey's special and peach shake were like the best I've ever had there. I went with my old lab and it was fun to see this young lady who had just arrived from Italy raving about how delicious  her burger was.

TBD

So TBD fest. What are your thoughts? Please be kind, brother, because Clay is a friend and I know he is taking an enormous risk. If you follow music in Sac you know he's been putting on concerts for charity for a zillion years and he is doing this because he wants to do something for Sac not to line his pockets.  My thoughts are that I definitely want to see Danny Brown and will likely buy a ticket for just that day and hope that Kurt Vile is that day as well. Besides him, the local peeps, The Pizza Underground (just because of the celebrity angle) and La Sera (who I think are really bland) I haven't heard of anyone. These all seem like young person bands to me, which is not bad and is probably the demographic, but I can't be expected to follow bands with names like ghost beach and beach house. As far as locals, stoked about tiaras and male gaze, and Century Got Bars was also added.

Also: not a festival person. I was tired of Burger Bugaloo by the time it was done and couldn't get drunk because the drinks were so expensive. All the food trucks ran out of food and there were no ins and outs so I was trapped. TBD will have ins and outs.  Local chefs will be preparing food, including Tuohy and Thiemann.

Long story short: will most likely buy one day but they are not offering those for a while. Excited to check it out. Rooting for Clay and his partners.

yay 40! or yay. 40.

In case you are not on social media, I am having a 40th birthday blowout at Witch Room on Friday. Entertainment by Ray Molina, The Beach Boys, Swiftumz, and The Bright Ideas! Some good brew and food. It's a BBQ potluck, and although hot dogs are great, there will already be a bunch so other meat or especially side dishes would be awesome. Chips are good but keep in mind there are usually like ten bags. I understand how it is as far as side dishes because they are more work and lately I have just been bringing hamburgers.

See you there!

memories light the corners of my mind

Big doings in these parts. For one thing, as DB usually will remind me annually, the anniversary of Heckasac is coming up. Not just any anniversary the TENTH anniversary. Please bring me an appropriate gift made of tin or aluminum. It's on July 20th.

 

I hate to look up old heckasacs but here are a few things of note:

 

MH was the first commenter. My second post was filled with arena h8ting and Graswich-baiting. My fourth was a description of my "dirty 30" party in which I djed dirty rap and drank faux-sizzurp (the more things change the more they stay the same I guess).

 

Ten years ago I predicted the rise of beards and tie dye (I am just paging through the first few posts still) .  Let's just say I have forgotten most of what I wrote and I cringe every few seconds while reading it. Here's an interview of Charles!

 

http://heckasac.blogspot.com/2004/08/charles-albright-reclusive-billionaire.html

 

omg this is kind of a goldmine! I rated olipom including a mention of Olivia:

 

The owner is very nice and was wearing a flamboyant orange dress that appeared to have had a previous life as a shower curtain. All this, and a pomeranian with a broken leg that gave me a half-hearted tail wag but no real love.
Ollipom-A
Handicapped Dog-C

 

oh man, there is some really racy stuff. I have to stop now!

 

My highest year of posting by far was 2005, in which I wrote 837 posts. I believe that's the year smiller and I started dating, pretty much the happiest year of my life. I posted 123 times in October of that year!!!

 

I know I have posted this picture before, but it remains one of the funniest things I have ever seen:

 

In this one you can see the tree better:

review of the 2005 Halloween show, including a note that I drank a diet Sparks

 

The Mac ripped it up, the girl who sang for Heart (Amber!!!) took everyone by surprise, Heckamax was definitely the MVP for the night and somehow managed to expertly channel both Robert Plant and Sting, I was quite attracted to Heather dressed as Phil Lynott especially because of the package (sorry Mike you know she looked hot), some members of Oasis got a little too in character and took the piss out of everyone (did I just use that slang right?). Favorite moments and acts, everyone? Let's get this thing started out right today, it's gonna be a loooooong week.

 

oh man, DB and I used to write dueling movie reviews (I forgot that!) and he has always been a super funny writer. This is when we were still roommates. hahaha "every scene looks like a Gatorade commercial"

 

NH-this answers the question of how I got two copies of R. Kelly's TP3 Reloaded- I got both for my 31st birthday!

 

I print a bunch of Roadhouse quotes and joke about having a baby and naming it Roadhouse 2 - a name I probably suggested at a recent baby shower.

 

Bought a cell phone in summer 2005.

 

Anyway, I could go on. The things that are surprising me is how little and how much I seem to have changed and that I have  known some of my friends longer than I thought.

 

RIP Doe B

Heckarap was really fun but we made about half as much money as last time which means it was probably half as busy. Go figure! I really don't know why it varies so much but now I have fun anyway. I try to just think more about playing a song that I think will sound good right at that moment. I mean, I read the crowd, too, but if I'm like "never be a g would sound sick right there but no one knows it" I will play it anyway. By the way, how fucking sick is this song AND it's a return from Project Pat. Unfortunately the video came posthumously to Doe B's death. Sucks. Why isn't this a huge hit?

 

The Verge grand opening party is Saturday at 7pm and you will get ANOTHER chance to catch the Heckarap team. More exciting Century Got Bars and Yarrow Slaps will be performing. There will be a bar and food trucks. The tickets are seven bucks.

burger boogaloo pictures!

Here are some awesome pictures of the Burger Boogalo! The one at the very top shows you why Steve McDonald (from Red Kross but pictured in Off!) is the best guy. It's funny that Red Kross stumbled upon a google-able name wayyyy before anyone had invented google. So funny.

don't get me started

Soo....Earl Sweatshirt cancels his career due to emotional and physical exhaustion? I always think that means drugs because how hard could working one hour a day be? I know, I know touring can totally suck, but it can also be completely fun and at his level people are taking care of a lot of shit. It's not like he's driving, crashing on floors, or loading in and out, waiting around to get paid, yadda yadda. Not that I really care, although I would go see him if he was in Sac. I just thought he was cooler than that. Don't even get me started on Death Grips!

Bugaloo!

Burger Bugaloo on Saturday was super fun. It's so amazing what those SoCal Burger guys have created just through a love of music. They've created an entire scene and for some a way of life. My quibble was that the beer and booze was too expensive but I guess it led to me being sober to drive us home and also there not being a lot of drunk obnoxious people stumbling around. The bathroom line looked to be at least 30 minutes so we just kept trading off the Bananas all access pass to use the performer bathrooms. Here are some pics after the jump!

 

cripes

I found out that the Davis show I thought was Wednesday is tonight (Sneeze Attack, Memories), and I thought that because I got it mixed up with a Wednesday show at WR (Trashies, Life Stinks, Rad). I will probably go to both of those and then I'm going to see Future at Ace of Spades tomorrow. Oy vey. I know it's my choice, but I really wish they weren't all within three days.

perfect ballet flats

Ladies! I have finally find the perfect ballet flats! (that I can afford) I have been suffering in J. Crew ones trimmed with ribbons that are rough on the feet and cut too wide on the sides in a way that looks stupid. I found some Sam Edelman ones at Nordstrom and they are soft inside and out and basically feel like a comfort shoe. They wore in in one day. They have a little logo tag on top with a bow that looks cute. the only annoying thing is the embroidery on the side and it is barely noticeable. I have a black pair and am going to buy a navy pair. This is not a paid advertisement.

cockeyed!!

I didn't even know that Cockeyed, one of the internet's early great websites (which still holds up), is a going concern until CM posted a link on facebook to a recent post about measuring decibel levels at local restaurants. So I checked it out for the first time in years and found that this interview with Rob Cockerham was just published a few days ago. It really brought me back to all the glory days. I happen to have a photo of him from back in the day when he put up a golden banana in the downtown plaza that stayed up there forever! Peruse the website. There is so much hilarious content. Check out the photos on this classic - you just might see yourself!

bugaloo!

Lil Debbie was fun. She is just ok. She rapped along with herself on the tracks so that was kind of dumb. The vaporizing going on in the room was insane. It's all anyone uses no, you don't smell any weed. I actually like that.

The bananas are playing the Burger Bugaloo in Oakland on July 5th. I do feel that the Bananas get slighted a bit when they play in Sac, so I would like to let you read the description on the Burger site and note that they are playing on a festival bill with No Bunny, La Sera, Personal and the Pizzas, Ronnie Spector, the Oh Sees among others. Here's what the website says:

Sometimes operating under the moniker DIY TIL EYE DIE, The Bananas are Sacramento, California's best and worst kept secret. This power trio consisting of Mike, Marie, and Scott Banana will always be the best band to rock any party on the face of the planet.

Tickets are on sale but they are not cheap.