Wednesday, November 16, 2005

my swollen gland

Hey, I've played this game before, where I've made you guess which gland is swollen because that's when I learned (from Brew's guess) about how gross it would be to have an infected Skene's gland (which I've never had, by the way, well, I do HAVE that gland, I guess, but it's not infected). To solve the mystery there's a mystery gland in my neck that's swollen and I am separating the men from the boys by testing who will touch it and who will not. You know who you are.

To the anonymous snot head: I am an excellent speller and when I spell chardonnay wrong I know that I am spelling it wrong but I am too lazy to look it up. I know how to spell fuck you, though. And to the person busting my chops about Mason's, you are an ineffective chop buster, so give it up. I never even said Mason's wasn't good, if you read the actual post, I just complained that the Bee was talking about them constantly which you cannot deny no matter how much of an idiot you are (notice I just trapped the buster along the lines of when Groucho Marx asks someone "have you stopped beating your wife?"). Also, to the other snot-o that said you will be filing your nails the night of the Animal Collective show, good for you, hold onto that smug feeling it will take you far. These are obviously all just my OPINIONS on this blog, not fact, if you don't agree then express that but you don't have to be anonymously rude. I am feeling feisty because I have had some brews and have spent far to much time wondering who the anonymous haters could be. I would like to coin a phrase here (you can quote me if you like) and say, don't hate, appreciate. I am only trying to entertain you for a few measly minutes at work and entertain myself while I'm at it.

Thankfully I am out of our nations crapitol which is not so great. I'm sure there are great things about it but the whole capitol mall (or is it capital, chop buster?) area is busted looking. Would it kill them to keep the lawn up a little? Ugly. But I am now in beautiful Billyburg (which would annoy Josh but I think he stopped reading when I said it the last time) and have been sampling the delights of Bedford, among them excellent Polish food and a bar called Spuyten Duyvil with delicious, albeit pricey, beer. Tonight we are heading to Butter as I mentioned before. It is raining. This whole weather thing is so inconvenient. It leads to wet feet and curly bangs, the bane of my existence (besides the aforementioned gland). What's going on in Sac? Who is going to be the best band at the Halloween show? I know Oasis has been talking shit but what about the Mac? Anyone else want to make a claim?

12 comments:

werenotdeep said...

let 'em have it, Hecka

Josh said...

How much longer are you in New York?

Anonymous said...

The best band will be Zepplin.

Love,
Percy

Anonymous said...

The best band will not be Thin Lizzy because they will all be too wasted and coked out to play well.

-Philo

alice said...

i'm just gonna toss out a guess that it's your thyroid.

DB said...

I have a quotable saying as well: "Port in the storm" (note: this only works if you're drinking port).

Anonymous said...

IT is "capitol" when referring to places like Sacto or DC. "capital" is all about money.

darin said...

Wrongo, anonymous. "capital" refers to the geographic area; "capitol" refers only to the specific capitol building. i live in california's capital. i often copy bill files in the capitol.

Anonymous said...

Thin Lizzy will triumph over all other bands through sheer Irish might. No offense to the others but there is just no competition. Plus, Im supplying them with an eightball so just lay down your key-tar and walk away....

Anony Moose

amy said...

thyroid, submandibular, or parotid... what part of your neck? lymph nodes could also be swollen (not technically glands)
-dr. p., m.d.

Anonymous said...

I have no doubt that Thin Lizzy will indeed be the best band to open for Oasis ever.

Cheers,
Liam

slop-dawg junior said...

i can't believe you would refer to spuyten duyvill without mentioning it is the BEST BEER BAR ON EARTH. the back patio is legendary! the little cutting board platters of micro-producer cheese, pickled beans, and specialty meats are legendary! the beer selection is legendary! the kegs of obscure delights on draft! the wine selection is legendary! you can even buy the furniture if you like it!

yeah, the brew is kinda pricey.