Thursday, May 17, 2007

do the math

I can't take it. Pho Bac got a 3 out of 5 star yelp (that's good for them) and the woman opened the review by complaining that the bathrooms next to the entryway (which she has never been in) smell like...DISINFECTANT! So it's not ok for bathrooms to smell like shit OR disinfectant, yelpers? What does you bathroom smell like at home? Let me guess, when you take a shit, it smells like shit for a while. Now imagine your bathroom was open to anyone walking by, and multiply that five minute shit smell by the number of people who use it. You might use some extra pine sol in there to counteract that, right? By the way, if you haven't been there, there is a door separating the entryway from the restaurant and inside the restaurant it smells like food and is filled with happy, smiling people who are eating good food.

She says she loves the food but then take away two stars because of clumpy noodles and because it's not New Paris.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm really glad she didn't Yelp our house last night. Steve's litterbox would've screwed us!

-miller

Anonymous said...

I like how her last three reviews are of places she's never been.

-- Patrone

beckler said...

she would have subtracted a star for the unfinished orangutan puzzle.

Anonymous said...

I can hardly express how crazy it seems to me that people get all worked up over the service at a Pho place? Who are these people? And what about that dude complaining about his waitress "trilling unintelligible vietnamese" to her coworkers? I have a deep belief that it would be perfectly intelligible to someone who spoke vietnamese. What an ass. I see him in shades and a visor, maybe shirtless driving a pickup.

JD

Anonymous said...

Hey Patrone, I thought you'd appreciate this line from a Sal's review:

"Located on the other side of the I Street bridge in a previously
shady, now hipster part of West Sac,..."

-miller

Anonymous said...

This dude Adam M's review of Royal Cafe is a personal fave...I can't figure out if he's a serial killer or an Esatern European that David Paul would make fun of...

http://www.yelp.com/biz/1gDIY97sSN_48PQcR3EPeg?hrid=6o3zENm1JoLfpNGZUW16iA

-- Patrone

beckler said...

his reviews are rad

beckler said...

I always get the baked patato, I like that sort of thing.

what kind of thing? baked yams also?

beckler said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
beckler said...

his yelp of monsanto is brutal. i'm never buying stuff from them again.

beckler said...

i'm reading his blog and i don't think it can be real.

werenotdeep said...

There is something really surreal about the blog. The bad spelling and grammar is almost perfectly consistent, and there's like a hallmark card quality-evidence of everything having been very contrived.

werenotdeep said...

I also wonder what self-respecting adult would outwardly admit that they spent thousands of dollars on a dating service in a public forum?

Anonymous said...

Beckler writes:

"What does you bathroom smell like at home? Let me guess, when you take a shit, it smells like shit for a while."
------------------

No, it smells more like magnolias after I doodoo. Ahhhhh...magnolias.

Pres,
SASSF

Anonymous said...

I think Adam M might be Luhey in disguise!

That's funny to maybe 3 people.

-miller

Anonymous said...

Maybe people are confusing pho bac with andy nguyens, home of the worse service ever. BTW, I just had a tri color drink from pho bac the other night that was amazing.
Jana

beckler said...

I would rather have Pho Bac's perfunctory yet supremely efficient service than Andy Nguyen's faky nice yet fuck up your order and burn your food service anyday, but many people feel the opposite, I guess. I haven't been to Andy N. in so long, is the service still as confused as ever?

Anonymous said...

I just gave it an extra star for cleanliness.

I've seriously never had "bad service" or even "slow service" at Pho Bac. They are also really sweet to my kid.

The worst service I've had in a long time were at Mimi's Cafe on Arden and Cafe Colucci in Oaktown.

~wingnut a.

Anonymous said...

ya know what . . . that STRONG disenfectent smell from the bathroom is there, and has always been there ... yet, I try to ignore because I still like this place. . .

Yours truely,
Annoying Yelper.