Monday, February 13, 2006

gayest theater evs!

Hey "J" (the Duvall-meeting poster), I'm surprised you would even hesitate to comment but I'm glad you did. I have somehow been aware of the screenings at the Kabinet, but they don't seem very well advertised so I'm not sure what you've been showing lately or what's coming up. I would love to post about it (and go to a screening) if you'd like to give me the information. After I wrote this I googled it, and lo and behold, there's a website, so here it is. I think sunday at 8:00 is a perfect time for a screening, and I would love to see Metropolis, although to be honest the two and half hour screen time may scare me away but nevertheless I'll try to come to a screening soon, in full Heckasac costume with the cape and the mask and the tube top and rollerskates and everything so you'll know who I am.

Speaking of movies, saw Transamerica last night at the Tower and I give it thumbs up. It's a wee bit schmaltzy at times but it's worth it just for a better understanding of what transgender people go through. Felicity Huffman is pretty rad in it. She shows a real lack of vanity in taking this role. I know I would be embarrassed to admit I look enough like a man to play one with only minimal make-up. In fact this is the first time I've ever admitted in public that I look like a man, and it feels good. But a man that can work a tube top and cape like nobodys business! I realized that the trifecta of Capote, Brokeback, and Transamerica officially makes Tower the gayest theater in town, so take that, Crest! And in more Tower news, local celebrity raconteur Matias Bombal has been hired to work at the Tower and I believe today is his first day, so good luck Matias. The hazing they give the rookies at Tower is brutal and occasionally results in death or permanent brain damage so watch your back. Here's a trick: if they strip you naked and cover you in superkist II while forcing you to sit in the popcorn bin and eat the popcorn and soda they pour down your throat, just go to a safe place in your mind to avoid psychological trauma. A comforting image like a tropical island or your crib works best.

11 comments:

alice said...

i pretty much laughed out loud the entire time i read this. the image of tower employees forcing someone to sit in the popcorn bin while force feeding them soda pretty much makes me want to pee my pants.

Anonymous said...

=

omf said...

Liv and I went to see White Zombie at Kabinet a few months ago and had a great time. Cheap wine, hard seats and bearded dudes in socks and sandals--- what's not to love? It's pretty much a timewarp into the liberal arty 70's world I grew up in.... it slots right in there with Cactus Garden Shows, Sunset magazine and Tom LaBrie's Night Comfort Theater.

ok, let the inevitable Rob Zombie jokes roll in....

Anonymous said...

I would like to point out that the The Crest has non-heterosexual people that actually work in the theater. Seems to to me Tower is putting up a "gay front" to draw attention away from the anti-gay hiring policies.

-Crest Management

beckler said...

I'm guessing that this wasn't actually posted by the crest management. Without actually naming names I can think of two current employees of the Tower who are not straight, and quite a few past employees who are gay/lesbian, not to mention those there that are bi, bi-curious, pan-sexual, members of triads, doms and subs, people who are into pony play, enema freaks, foot worshippers, golden shower afficionados (if those urinals could talk!), that one employee who used to hump the golden columns and got his dick caught in the projector, and many others of all stripes.

Stephen Glass said...

Bring on the DVDs of "Tom LaBrie's Night Comfort Theater," added extras or no.

beckler said...

You know what, I was thinking about my last comment and thinking that when you joke about peoples sexual persuasions you are joking with fire and I want to clarify that I was seriously celebrating the sexual diversity at Tower (and the Crest), both establishments which have always been gay friendly for both patrons and employees and not trying to insinuate that being gay is in any way equivalent to like, getting your sexual jollies from pretending to be a pony. I was joking so I hope I didn't offend anyone.

Anonymous said...

Kabinet is kool! Saw a screening of Nosferatu there some time back. They even had some local dude score it -- can't remember his name, but he did a fine job. Fresh popcorn, free wine and a giant bedsheet as a screen. I am thankful for Kabinet.

-Dave

Kev Seconds said...

Are you calling me a homo, Heckasac?

Anonymous said...

Oh, so it would be an insult to be compared to a pony?
Ney, heckasac, ney.

That ney, is supposed to be a pony sound.

klj

Showman said...

thanks for the mention and advice. Now it's months later and although the rookie period at the Tower is over as I'm no longer there, I am happy to report that the possible roughness you suggested never transpired, and now I am better for it, as I am now in the employ of Oakland's Paramount Theatre, 2025 Broadway,
Oakland. Only dowside is the commute from Greenhaven.

Warmly,

Matias Bombal