Monday, February 27, 2006

Master Wan Ko Yee is a figure with magnificent accomplishments in all areas. In all of human history, no one can compare.

Remember when you wanted to see pictures of nerds on the internet? No? Well, here are some anyways.

I saw an insane art exhibit in SF this weekend. Insane because it seems to be built around a cult figure named Master Wan Ko Yee. I hesitate to write this because I can envision his followers somehow finding out about this and making death threats or barraging me with comments or something. Today was the last day of the exhibit but I think it's moving somewhere else in SF. I'll try to find out where. I urge you to see it. Here are some statements from the printed material on the net and that is posted at the show:

The mystery of these works will enchant you, and you will find them
unbelievable! If you do not personally see such works of art, which have now
appeared in this world for the first time, it might be difficult for you to imagine
that this world actually has such beautiful and wondrous artwork. With the
appearance of these artistic creations, all splendid pearls, jade, and gemstones
become pale in comparison, like the stars in the sky being outshined by a clear
moon.

During the thousands of years of culture and art history,
never has anyone made such magnificent achievements as Master Wan Ko Yee.

There was some sculpture called "yun sculpture" at the show which was totally bad-ass. It was made of colorful melty stuff that looked like wax. When you go in the special viewing room a lady starts a tape reading statements that are similar to that printed above. She also gesticulates towards the sculpture at appropriate times.

In the beginning of the 21st Century, Master Wan Ko Yee created “Yun
sculpture,” which amazed the world of art. The birth of “Yun sculpture” raised
art to an astonishingly new height. During the thousands of years of human
civilization, no one else’s sculpture actually surpassed the delicate and
wonderful beauty of natural stones. Only Yun sculpture art created by Master
Wan Ko Yee surpasses the natural world and its beauty! No precious stone in
this world can compare with the beauty, mystery, majesty, and resplendence of
Yun sculptures. Inside the Yun sculptures entitled “Boulder With Mist” and
“Wonder of a Mysterious Cave,” there are grottoes that contain constantly
lingering auspicious mist. For the first time in human history, mist has been
created through carving skills. It is truly unprecedented! Furthermore, attempts
by countless artists have proven that Yun sculptures cannot be replicated! This is
a miracle in the history of sculpture!

The constant emphasis on the fact that he had somehow "carved mist" was particularly funny. It was as if they thought that every artist throughout time had been struggling to carve mist but had given up and only Wan Ko Yee could do it.

I saw a couple of other pinnacles of human accomplishment this weekend, the Poontang Wranglers and Neil Hamburger.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, where did you see Neil Hamburger? He's my favorite comedian and America's Funnyman!!!

--shecky green

Neil Hamburger said...

Why did God make homosexuality a sin?

Because His boyfriend thought it was funny.

Anonymous said...

Neil Hamburger also said:

Why did Robert Redford stick his penis in Paul Newman's pasta sauce?

The men have been friends for 40 years - why would he stick it in anyone elses?

beckler said...

And-
Why did Madonna feed her children Alpo dog food?

She had no choice, it's what came out of her breasts!

OK, maybe you have to be there.

Anonymous said...

No, it's actually:

Q: Why did God make homosexuality a sin?
A: Because his Boyfriend said it's more of a turn-on that way

Another oldie but goodie from America's Funnyman:

Q: Why did Julia Roberts rub shit on her vagina?
A: Because she was horny

Laffing out loud,
--shecky greene

Battle ofda fro said...

Master Wan Ko Yee

http://www.ereleases.com/pr/2004-royalacadfellow.jpg

versus

Gary Spivey

http://www.garyspivey.com

In a cagematch.

I got my money on Spivey!!!

Anonymous said...

or: why did Mick Jagger urinate on his daughter? Because he mistook her for one of his fans.

werenotdeep said...

Q: Why didn't Santa Claus come down the chimmney this Christmas?

A: Because he was impotent!

Selid said...

I saw Master Wan's exhibit today as a joke. I especially enjoyed his sculptures of spray-painted styrofoam goo. His "jade" pieces are exquisite pieces of vomit mounted on cardboard. The flyer states that"...some of the works could not possibly have been created by a human being." This, I believe is true, as no human being would possibly want to create these. If you go, look out for the masterful rendering of the Chinese character for good luck. His medium of choice? Possibly the longest piece of green shit in the history of the world.

Anonymous said...

don't worry about being berated because everyone is free to form their own opinions, whether they be praises or criticisms. but one thing to note is that we may not understand and appreciate all forms of art, but it is best to be silent than to announce to all that we are fools.

richard said...

i heard the fucker forged letters authenticating his lineage as a reincarnate lama....hehe what a fuckn joke!

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Athena said...

I realize this blog was written back in 2006, it is now 2011 but I guess it is better to comment on here late than to not do it at all!

I happen to be one of Master Wan Ko Yee's followers.... :)
And It's true I have come to leave a comment about your impression of Master Wan Ko Yee, but NOT to make threats of any kind!
True Buddhist do not do that!
I just want to set somethings straight if I may.
It seems you are under the impression that Master Wan Ko yee is a "cult figure". I cant help but giggle at the ignorance of that statement... With all due respect, I can assure you we do not belong to a cult of any kind! We are all Buddhist and belong to the Buddhist religion, nothing else.
It is the same as "His Holiness The Dali Lama" he too happens to have followers in his Buddhist lineage.
I have no intention on discrediting your blog, or your feelings toward religion in general I just want to make sure that you understand that some of your statements are in fact offensive, just as it would be offensive to you if someone wrote a similar blog about those you feel are of great importance in your religion.
That being said I do not feel ill will toward you for it. This is only your misguided opinion, but none the less it is a wrong impression.
I do hope that you will retract your use of words & or labels in this particular blog.
However I must say I love what you wrote about Master Wan Ko Yee's art! That was in very good taste.

To "Selid" who wrote a very cruel comment about Master Wan Ko Yee and his art;
I am so sorry that you feel that way! Wow for not knowing anything about Master Wan Ko Yee at all, you have some very harsh & aggressive feelings toward him. I'm not sure why you feel so compelled to slander and insult someone you dont know, but by doing so you may or may not be aware you are insulting the entire Buddhist religion.
As Buddhist we believe that all living beings have Buddha nature within us and I can only hope in time you will understand your hurtful comments were so very wrong.

~ Athena


"Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill."
~Buddha

DG said...

Hey everyone, I found the information as follow:

http://www.highestbuddhistmasters.org/english/ebook/ebk00029.htm

There is a award of 20 million dollars for anyone who can successfully duplicate Master Wan Ko Yee's works. Would someone like to try that?

Affordable Logo Design said...

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A Cultivator said...

I am also a devote follower of H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha and I think understand your perspective. I agree that the language used to describe the Buddha's art is not the way most of us Westerner's would describe anything. I do hope that you might change the the term "cult' is offensive and not accurate. Either way I love you! www.acultivator.com

Kam Fung said...

Dear Selid,
I could not help but feel profound love for you because you are ignorant, whether purposefully or not, and you hurt people's feelings through mean and rude words. Master Wan Ko Yee is an extraordinary being who came from a formless realm to teach us and show us the capacity of one who is truly enlightened and are not bound to the cycle of reincarnation; and that we are all loved and how to give love in return that makes us happier than the receiver. Master Wan Ko Yee is the reincarnation of Dorje Chang Buddha, who is formless and cannot be found, but is compassionate enough to appear in a form to teach us living beings. If you have heard even 1 discourse / teaching by H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III, you will be so touched by his profound knowledge, wisdom, and compassion for us that you will not make such verbal mistakes as you did in this blog. Only such a magnificent being can make such enchanting works of art, not only in this world, but in all the different worlds that you know nothing about, for we are not the only beings in this galaxy. Imagine us as being just ants, compared to all the other beings in this galaxy. I hope you will one day open your wisdom and find out for yourself that all your sufferings stem from ignorance. You cannot possibly find happiness in ignorance. I will pray for you and wish that 1 day you'll regret your actions and speech of ignorance. Sincerely yours, Kam Fung

Dear Beckler,
I am glad that you find the works in this museum enchanting and cannot be found anywhere in this world. But I would like to correct you on 1 thing. Master Wan Ko Yee is NOT a cult. Master Wan Ko Yee never wanted to be famous. He is the humblest person / being that you will ever have the fortune to find in any lifetimes. Master Wan Ko Yee was recognized by the different leaders of various Buddhist sects to be the reincarnation of Dorje Chang Buddha, a blue formless Buddha in the formless realm. Only a Buddha can exhibit the mastery of the 5brightnesses / mings / vidyas that you call such enchanting works of art. The five brightnesses / mings / vidyas are: the vidya of healing (medicine); the vidya of craftsmanship (art & technology); the vidya of sound (speech & grammar, communication); the vidya of causality (cause & effect or Buddhist logic); and the vidya of inner realization (enlightenment & supernormal powers). For more information, please visit the website: http://www.zhaxizhuoma.net, and click on Five Vidyas on the left hand column of the page. I hope that you will have the fortune to hear one of the discourses given by H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III and become a wiser and happier person. Sincerely yours, Kam Fung