Friday, February 03, 2006

what kind of sweaters do pirates wear? ARRR-gyle!

Although I was pretty absorbed in my food I couldn't help but notice some of the crazy "fashion" at Mason's. The bar was packed with young professionals in their finery. The women were suprisingly pirate-y. Women only wear jeans to dress up now, it's like a law or something. No dresses, no skirts, just tight as fuck jeans, often cropped with high skinny boots, which accounts for the pirate effect. Or the boots are tucked in. This look is still ruling over everything. The only other kind of pants that are acceptable are the loose, flowy harem style pants that make everyone watch your butt jiggle (it's not just me who watches, right?) and that go waaayyy up your butt when you stand up. These are also somewhat pirate style. Tops are your standard glittery boob tops. Implants and fake tans=in.

OK, for what to do this weekend, Feeling show tonight at Distillery if you are not punk enough to hack it at Gilman and watch the Bananas. Tomorrow, Alkali Flats show. Sunday I am going to a champagne brunch on the Delta King! Exciting and I will probably do some serious napping after to get ready for DJ Roger and DJ smiller's new pop night at the Press. That's right, sunday night! I don't know if this night has a name or website or schwag yet, but I'm sure it's coming soon. They need to think of something catchy like Daggers! or Vicious! like, oh I don't know, Vicious Electric Daggers! Or Watch Out For That Sharp Edged Thing! It Will Cut Your Clothes But In A Sexy, Shredded Way! Or, Tetanus Shot!!

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Beckler, while at Masons, did you spot a lot of Boob-Cozys? They are sweeping the greater LA metro area. It just covers the boobs, oh and the upper back and maybe the arms. You know it? Awful. Very popular with flouncy pants.

Ella

PS- Tetanus Shot should be a new hip drink.

Anonymous said...

Glittery Boob Top! Hilarious and well put.

werenotdeep said...

Is there a lot of kohl slaw, citrus, or sauerkraut at Mason's? Because if there's not, then Aarrrr! Curse the scurvy lot!

beckler said...

Yes, I see boob cozys all the time but not really last night. A boob cozy with a white tank under it is sure to make any girls gut and muffintops look giant. Mark my words, the next generation of boob-emphasizing tops will be small garments with two holes cut out for the (clothed) breasts to poke through.

beckler said...

I also feel compelled to comment that I only used the word schwag to bug someone that hates it. I would never really use that word.

smiller's sense of snow said...

Smiller at the press? Never thought i would see the day.

Anonymous said...

Just to keep you up to date on whats happening in the dreaded world of fat lady clothes,
The gypsy look has become the gypsy pirate.
Now I'm a rather ample lady, and honestly the only thing that makes me look bigger is a shrug and giant flowing bedazzled peasant skirt. and the shrug? why would I put my tits in a knit bag? thats not helping the problem.

alice said...

whoever just made the anonymous comment about the world of fat lady clothes just had me laughing my ass off at work. i can't get the image of tits in a knit bag out of my head!

alice said...

oh, also, i'm a bit unsure what a boob cozy is. could someone link to a photo? is it just like a small bra or something?

werenotdeep said...

If one should question whether it's a problem in the first place, the argument might be made that perhaps it is not. Not, that is, until you put that thing on. Now it's a problem.

Anonymous said...

Alice, it's like a thing you put on over your t shirts. I have actually seen t shirts with them ATTACHED to the outside. That is real sad. It's like a shrug, but from the front, it just looks like you are wearing tit warmers. For examples, just go to sac state.

Ella

Anonymous said...

I'm feeling "Tetanus Shot"!

miller

alice said...

now i'm imagining like puff balls of yarn hanging in front of someone's boobs. i think that's the image i'm gonna stick with even if it's not acurate.

Anonymous said...

Now Alice, in your imagination, shove the boobs into the fuzzy earmuffs and attach a way too short fuzzy sweater to it. Done!

Anonymous said...

example

http://www.eluxury.com/browse/product_detail.jhtml;$sessionid$YTEJ4QDF0ZFNFLAUALPCFEQ?styleid=10822411&program-id=780&ad-id=57&_requestid=152413

Only $99 for 1/2 the sweater!

Anonymous said...

That mystery poster was me,
I assume a tit cozy and a shrug are the same thing.

-natalie

beckler said...

here's one that ties. that's more common than the button one.

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=Dressy+Tops&product%5Fid=2025168813&Page=5

beckler said...

how is this a top? why aren't there pictures on models?

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=Sweaters&product%5Fid=2024875467&Page=2

Anonymous said...

That's what The Shruggs are named after. Little known fact.

miller

beckler said...

here's a side-of-your-neck-and-mid-collarbone cozy. in case it's cold. the middle of that bone gets cold sometimes. especially if you need to eat. a. sandwich.


http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=Sweaters&product%5Fid=2025782982&Page=2

leon said...

carrrrrrrrghhdigan

beckler said...

this one says "great for layering". or for just wearing with nothing else. who knew the forever 21 website was so fun?

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=Dresses&product%5Fid=2026410309&Page=3

alice said...

man, that was so much fun looking at all of those. especially that 'great for layering' dress. wha? why not just go out naked, dude? those boob cozies are like vests gone painfully awry. actually, i could imagine them on a bull figher in spain if that bull fighter was 17 year old girl attempting to stir up the beast with a pashmina.

beckler said...

wha? check this omf-a laceless chuck taylor

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=11182&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=121&iSubCat=1145&iProductID=11182

Emily said...

I hate those boob cozies. I had no idea what they were called, but I see them all the time. Especially at sac state. They kind of remind me of certain, much more tolerable dresses from the 1940's-50's. Maybe Ella knows what i am talking about....a black dress, for instance, with a black, short-sleeved "cozy" (?) you wear over the dress. I have no idea how to find a picture of it online. All i know is I had a dress like that once and I never wore the cozy.

alice said...

that is the ultimate in post modern footwear. i just don't get it.

omf said...

A boob cozy called a 'shrug' and now laceless all stars. wtf is this world coming to? Thank god Al Qaeda is going to send us all back to the stone age.

Anonymous said...

WTFOMF?!