Thursday, February 23, 2006

What's wrong with Paesano's management?

A highly moral heckasac reader (who shall remain nameless unless she chooses to reveal her identity) clued me in to a crappy incident at Paesanos. It caused her to take personal action because she felt so strongly about it. Here's what happened:

A week from yesterday, so February 15th, a homeless man passed out on the bench in front of Paesanos and the owner **name redacted** and the GM went on the roof with 2 buckets of water and doused the guy to get him to wake up and leave. The first bucket thrown by dude mostly missed him and the second bucket thrown by other dude nailed him. The homeless man is handicapped, weighs about 90lbs soaking wet, and can barely walk. You have probably seen him around as most people I have mentioned this to know who I'm talking about. He was having what looked like a seizure outside before he passed out.Oh yeah, and it froze that night.I was not a first hand witness to this story, however, this was done in the evening during business hours in front of customers and employees. I have asked several people at Paesanos about this who did see it and they have all confirmed the story and all of their stories match

Terrible. And please, no stupid anonymous posts about dirtbags or he deserved it or whatever, or I'll erase them. If you are foolhardy enough to want to sign your name to a comment like that (or a nickname I know) I'll leave it up.

199 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wondered how long it would be before this hit here. You should name names re: the owner. He did what he did, and he thought he was pretty funny. I suspect he's going to learn quite a little lesson out of this.

Once word gets out about this, I don't think many people will choose to eat there as long as this dirtbag is the owner.

The good news is that there is a lot going on around this incident at the moment and it is NOT over.

Fuck that place and the assholes who own and run it.

Anonymous said...

I vow only to eat there when I really, really need a bowl of oil with a little pasta floating in it.

miller

beckler said...

Yeah, that dump is easy to boycott. No way am I naming names! You think I want to get sued. Sorry, maybe some legitimate publication can look into it.

Alice said...

every time i hear that story it makes me want to cry. that is just so mean. why would you do that to someone who is already so down on the totem pole of life's comforts?

beckler said...

It makes jerks like that feel important. The homeless get hassled and beaten up all the time.

Anonymous said...

Well there really is no excusable reason to go to virga's, Houkalou, paesonos, etc, etc...

So F'them and spread the word.

Oh yeah virga's is closed.
Oh well, same difference.

That punk ass chica that owns lucky cafe is a homeless hater/abuser too.

Anonymous said...

What IDIOTS!!! That is so cruel. I hope someone was able to help him out or something. I won't have a problem not eating there as their food sucks ass anyway.

Jeff M. said...

Apart from being cruel and sadistic, this dude's actions could end up costing the tax payers hundred of thousands of dollars. When the homeless guy comes down with pneumonia, it is the tax payers who will foot the hospital bill.

Anonymous said...

People downtown are constantly faced with homeless people. At first, the homeless are met with sympathy, then indifference, then disdain. Sure, it gets old when you're running a buisness, and some stinky person plops down for a nap 20 feet from the front door, reeking of alcohol and urine. But to dump water on him? That's uncalled for. There is a huge homeless problem here, and the answer isn't just housing. The majority of the terminally homeless (not those transitionally homeless) are mentally ill. Of course they're prone to alcohol and drug abuse. Having the police paddy wagon take them to detox or having the FD ambulance take them to Sutter General is not the answer (it just costs the taxpayer more money). These folks need real treatment, and that doesn't mean having some wanker through a bucket of water at them.

werenotdeep said...

I've seen a completely naked guy with a boner standing in the alleyway outside my window peeing in my trashcans at 2 am.

That kind of behavior I might dump water on, but to dump water on a guy who passes out on a bench? That's fucking cruel.

Anonymous said...

Unrelated but. Smiller and the Bright Ideas. Want to play the 3rd with Lyme and Spiral States (featuring members of Sofia)? Snobs are no longer on the bill.

I hate homeless hating cruel people. I'm going to make a sweeping generalization and say that they are probably Republicans who believe in God. But hate God's creatures.

F Paesanos. Forever.

Forever,

Heckamax

Anonymous said...

If you people think this is going to have any effect on Paesanos' business, I think you're sadly mistaken. This type of thing happens every day downtown and the only thing that makes this story different is some blogger wrote about it. And really how many Paesanos patrons are going to a) read this blog, and b) give a shit about the homeless. I'm not condoning the behavior of the owner and manager, but I think the behavior of all the bystanders was pretty pathetic as well. If this guy was having a seizure and passed out on the bench, why weren't you helping him? Why did nobody call for help or try to find out if he needed an ambulance? Seizures can kill people, you know. You see a hopeless man in despair, and you leave him to die. Then someone else dumps water on him and suddenly it's an outrage? I suppose it would have been better if the owner just did what everyone else was doing, and just leave the man for dead. Did anyone help the man after he'd been soaked? Give him a blanket? Did anyone ask his name? Did anyone approach the owner/manager personally? Did anyone call the cops? When the first bucket of water missed, did anyone stand up and defend the homeless man? Did anyone tell the men on the roof to stop, or maybe even try to wake the man on the bench to warn him? I guess everyone was busy sipping thier Java City tripple double mondo-caff chai-mocha-frappa-poo.
This is not the first time I've seen a cry for "boycott" on this blog. The community here seems so ready to 'fight the good fight' and stand up for equality. You think you're going to change the world? You might take a look at yourselves and ask why didn't any of you stand up and defend this man when he clearly needed help? It's amazing how quickly people are willing to stand up and point out someone else's behavior, while completely ignoring their own. And this homeless man (and all homeless people) will still be treated like dirt regardless of whether Paesanos' owner and manager are held accountable.
As for Paesanos, I don't eat there because the food is nasty and the service sucks. That's all the reason anyone should need. Oh and once I found a piece of fingernail in my salad. As for boycotting, well, I'll leave that to the lynch squad.


-Adam

Anonymous said...

Adam, you should've been there! It was, like, the entire readership of this blog & we were all drinking these awesome lattes outside Paesanos when this all went down. We talked about how we should totally do something to help & decided that we would boycott Paesanos! Like an old lynch mob! We're all really excited about it because we're, like, changing the world! Isn't that COOL?!

miller

Anonymous said...

In response to Adam's post, I'd like to say that sometimes reacting is easier said than done. I know I've been in conflicts before and wondered why none of my friends jumped in to my rescue...I used to resent this, but later realized that people sometimes freeze up. And by the time they realze what's happening, the event has passed.

During the first few fights I witnessed as a teacher, I had this reaction. I felt horrible because I didn't jump right in and do something. Eventually, I was able to get past the initial shock and jump in to break it up as a reflex. But this takes time. I think most people are not used to conflict, so when they do observe it, they don't know what to do.

For what my opinion is worth, the majority of people who read this list are my friends and are good people. They are not hypocrites, and they are active in improving the world in one way or another.

- Patrone

Anonymous said...

Wow. This is really sad. Getting wet is like the worse thing in the world for someone on the streets. No dry clothes to change into, wind chill factor, awful. Did these idiots stop to think just how much something like that might affect this guy?
You want to do business downtown you find ways to deal with the homeless that aren't cruel and sadistic, otherwise go sell your pizza in the mall where you can deal with wannabe gangsters.
I diagree with the comment that this boycott can't have an affect. The heckasac readership and the readership of the other blogs and e-mail lists that swap with Heckasac is signifigant. I do think we can this asshole in the wallet.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I bet if one transposed this story to a local graffiti website, the problem might get solved.


MoooooHahahahahah...

<-- that is suppose to be a very evil laugh

Anonymous said...

"I do think we can hit this asshole in the wallet."

My last sentence was supposed to read.

Anonymous said...

I know the guy you're talking about... "millimeter-man" is what my neighbor calls him becuase of how slow he walks. The guy practically lives on my front doorstep and stinks to high hell. He's severely mentally-ill and probably has a broken back as well. He should not be on the streets. But thats no excuse for what this guy did. I go to paesanos to drinks sometimes with friends who like the place. I'll stop going.

I recommend posting this on craiglist missed connections to try to organzie some some of boycott/protest.

Chris L

Anonymous said...

Not Shuffles! That is one of the meanest things I've heard. He may be the smelliest man I've ever encountered, but he always minds his own business and he doesn't even panhandle, which is the excuse most business owners use to harass the homeless. I don't know if this is related, but when I was walking home from work yesterday I saw his jacket, the red and black one that I've NEVER seen him without, laying at the bus stop at 19th and Capitol and I wondered if he was OK. Has anyone seen him today?

-Connie

Alice said...

adam,

as someone who heard this story before heckasac posted it on this blog, i'm pretty sure that none of the people writing comments here or reading this blog re: this subject were present at the event. the person i do know who brought this event to my attention was also not present but had very credible stories corroborating what had gone down.

i doubt anyone on this blog would have just walked away from that situation even if they didn't know exactly what the appropriate thing would have been to do. i know i pretty much live my life in fear of winding up with someone else's "blood on my hands" due to passivity or indifference.

that said, i agree with patrone on the whole "freezing up" thing. a car on the freeway once toppled over several times ahead of me and rolled onto the onramp i had just entered. i stopped my car and started heading to see if the driver was ok since he was in a flipped over truck. but a part of me was stalling on getting to the scene cuz i was freaked i'd see something that might damage me like a shard of glass in the driver's gut or something. as it turns out, there were a few "heroic" dudes who dashed over there before i could and dragged him out of the car.

i'm not a paramedic nor am i super strong in the face of blood and guts, so sue me. but, the intention was there. had i more training and exposure to that kind of situation, i probably would have been the first one to the car.

i understand the point you were making above but i don't know if your comments were so helpful. they sounded very righteous and presumptious to me. i would've rather read a list of resources the readership of this blog could tap into if they ever witness a similar situation in the future. maybe a boycott isn't that effective, but instead of criticizing it, you could've made helpful suggestions.

beckler said...

Hey Adam-
Yeah, nobody that writes or comments was there, the woman who told me about it actually quit because of hearing about it the next day, which I think is a pretty courageous action. Just to clear that up. I can with 100% certainty say that I'm always one of the first people to jump in to help someone in need. I trace this back to my beginning psychology classes where I learned about the psychology of crowds and how if there are tons of people around everyone will think that someone else will help. You're more likely to get help if only one person is around. It's not that people are good are bad, helping behavior is pretty situational. So I'm not patting myself on the back. I just know someone has to go first, and then others will help.

Connie-I saw that jacket and I was tripping on it! It looked like a homeless persons jacket and I wondered why the person would leave it!

Here's a link to a thought-provoking Malcolm Gladwell New Yorker article about chronic homelessness, if anyone's interested.

http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/articles/060213fa_fact

beckler said...

oops I meant "it's not that people are good OR bad"

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Beckler, you should delete that last post. Squirty Tip is an asshole. He leaves obnoxious posts on my brother's site as well.

Anonymous said...

Hey, the village idiot who usually stinks up the Sac Rag has stumbled their righteous ass over here. Great. Right on bro! Homeless go home!

miller

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking that ol' Squirts seems like he is just trying to get peoples goat. Aw, poor fella doesn't get enough attention in the real world I guess.

-Connie

Anonymous said...

It's hard to be a part of the real world when you can't even get off your front porch because it's constantly COVERED in crack addicts!! Keep hosin' dude! You'll get there!

miller

beckler said...

I wrote a big long thing back, but squirty tip isn't worth it. Cool name, though. It's really witty and clever.

werenotdeep said...

I will have to say that I agree with Squirty's logic. For example, one time a stray dog wandered into my yard and fell asleep, and I didn't want him there, and since I didn't want to take care of the dog myself, so with extreme predjudice, I took an axe and cut his head off and threw him into the street.

I mean, what else should I do, right? I didn't want the dog there and I couldn't keep him, so naturally, I must treat him in the most cruel fashion imaginable.

Anonymous said...

I have always thought that the best way to discourage people from going to Paesano's is to insult and jeer at them from Smitty's porch. It hasn't worked yet, but I plan on keeping at it.

And on the homeless in the car tip, I remember when the elder miller did when a homeless smoker was staying in his car at night. He went an got him an ashtray. Probably even a cool old timey one.

gbomb

Anonymous said...

Hey Adam,

I completely understand that calling an ambulance when someone is having a seizure might feel good for you and the people around, but it's usually a bad idea for the person having a seizure.

So if anyone else sees me having a seizure please DO NOT call an ambulance. I don't want to pay another $1,000 for a trip to the hospital where the doc says, "Oh, just a seizure. Go home."

Yes, a seizure can kill people, but most of the time it's no big deal, no matter what it looks like.

I'm guessing since it was a homeless guy having a seizure, it was probably an alcoholic seizure. Another seizure to ignore. Mine are just plain ol' epilepsy after yet another ass-kicking I've had.

Just make sure anyone having a seizure is on their side. Then do your best to ignore them. I'm sure people seeing him have a seizure didn't know that, but they did the right thing by not doing anything.

You put them on their side so they don't choke on their own vomit. DO NOT put anything in the persons mouth. It's better to chew your tongue than choke on a wallet. I'm speaking with a tongue that still hurts since my last seizure in July.

Check your watch and if they have the seizure for over 5 minutes (don't try timing this yourself because you'll overestimate), then call an ambulance. In which case, they'll probably be stuck with a $1000 bill and told to go home.

If they're wearing tight neckwear, loosen it. If there's something sharp around, try to move it. But mostly, just leave them alone!

I'm sure everyone at Paesanos had a pocketful of blankets to hand out. Sheesh.

And this isn't the first time you've seen a cry for boycott? Let's see, the only other cry for boycott I've seen on this site was after after Eason (who's wife Liz runs Fools Foundation) was a racist fuckwit to Nilesh. Lots of people who read this blog are friends with Nilesh, so what do you think is going to happen?

I think I'll cry out for a boycott of the Bananas because Smiller is dating a Jew. Next thing you know, Jews will take over teevee and movies.

Anonymous said...

this:
http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/articles/060213fa_fact

is interesting. i lived in davis for 6 years, and really saw the impact that a few homeless had on the community, mainly that one dude that said "gimme a dolla mothafucka" and another guy, the swede, who frequented woodland as well. i think they're both dead now.
this has nothing to do with the paesano's thing, which i think is abhorrent. when we stop recognizing our mutual humanity and treat others as less than human, as animals, as a nuisance that needs to be taken care of, with no acknowledgement of their human dignity, then i just wrote a big ass run on sentence. seriously, even if you're annoyed and pissed off at the behavior of certain homeless people, don't forget that they are people, who have feelings and emotions and dreams and wants like you.

that's it, i guess. malcolm gladwell intrigues me. he always finds analogies in things i wouldn't normally think of as analagous, like his last article on pit bulls and racial profiling, also really provocative, check it out if you can find it.

Anonymous said...

Squirty, This is typical all or nothing logic. Did you learn this from Rush, or was it O'Riley?
If you're not in the habit of rehabilitating the homeless you should treat them with cruelty and disregard? Give them space in your home, or hose them down?
Maybe there is an in between place. Maybe you can fight the urge to hose them down, call the drunk tank if they realy are interfering with your ability to carry on with your life, and show some support for those that do work on rehabilitation, housing etc.
But as long as your so fond of extremes, go the rest of the way. Let's just shoot 'em! What do you say?

Anonymous said...

Some words of thanks:
1) Squirty Tip: For reminding me that I am not the only one who talks out of his ass.
2) Adam: for pointing out the Paesanos is deserving of contempt for the terrible food and snotty service.
3) Smitty: for providing USEFUL information about seizures.
4) Smiller: for cracking me up yet again. "Homeless, go home!" and "Keep hosin' dude!"

Heeheehee'edly yours,
Ed

werenotdeep said...

The severely uncomfortable middle ground:

On new year's eve of 2002-2003, I was sitting on the elevated front porch of a house on 19th street not much more than a stone's throw from where Smiller lives right now, with my at-the-time boyfriend.

If you don't remember, that was a particularly cold new years' eve. While we sat on the front porch covered in overcoats and blankets and sharing a smoke, a homeless guy, who was so drunk and bedraggled that we were amazed that his heart was still beating, much less standing up and moving (mostly) on his own volition.

He asked us for a quarter, and we had none. He asked for a cigarette or some whiskey. The former we had only one left, which we were smoking, and the latter we had plenty of, but appearantly, so had he, and a single drop more of it might have killed him on the spot, so we declined to give him any.

So he stood there and begged us "please". We said no, and half because he was being bothersome, and half because we were afraid that if he stood still for too long, his legs would buckle, and he'd pass out, and might even die right there on the doorstep, we told him he needed to keep moving and that he shouldn't have any more to drink that night.

He kept standing there and emplored us not to patronize him, but he wasn't very nice about it.

We decided to call the police. He didn't seem dangerous, and he was down on the street and couldn't have ascended the steps if he wanted to anyway, he would surely have fallen down. We were mostly concerned about him, because he was obviously in a very bad state.

By the time the police had been called, the inevitable happened and he collapsed on the sidewalk and passed out. We made sure to watch him to make sure that he was still breathing. Somebody donated a blanket to him.

Not long after that, a stream of urine ran out from under him into the ivy by the sidewalk. The police were slow to show up, and we almost considered maybe we should call an ambulance, but they finally showed up.

One of the police recognized him as a recent "graduate" of rehab. They lifted him up, he was groggy and barely moving, then they escorted him into the wagon. Maybe a minute, but probably less passed, they asked us a few questions, we told him that he was a bit belligerant but far from violent. Suddenly he started lurching around inside the truck and screaming. The police asked us if we wanted our blanket back. The owner declined.

Anyway, the point of the story. This guy "invaded" our time and property and he was a miserable sight, and it's not likely he'll ever really be "on his own feet" again in his life. He might even be dead now. But he's a human being. We could have sprayed him or shoved him into the street, but we didn't. Hell, there were things we might have done wrong or could have done better. But there was no good reason, no reason that I'd think would make it "okay" to treat him like garbage or sub-human.

I don't understand why anyone should think it's not just okay, but even necessary to be brutal to people who are in that kind of situation.

And lastly, here here, very informative stuff about the seizures, I wouldn't have known a lot of that stuff.

Of course, if you're in a mixed crowd of people and you witness somebody having a seizure, though, most people have pre-conceived notions about what to do for a person having a seizure, and like as not, somebody's going to be putting a wallet in their mouth and calling EMT before I'd have a chance to do anything else or say otherwise. But still, it's good to know.

Unknown said...

Adam, thanks for stirring the pot.

it gets real old reading people post with common sense and decency all the time.



oh, and a) more people read this blog than even Beckler might like.

Stephen Glass said...

That New Yorker article on homelessness ruled, incidently -- I read it last week and have been thinking about it ever since. It did suck when I got to the last few paragraphs and I realized what was coming. Recently the city of San Francisco was busted in the practice of buying one-way Greyhound tickets for a dozen-plus homeless people and sending them up here to Humboldt County; this isn't the first time something like this has happened, nor it will it be the last. Sending people in need to the middle of nowhere (a place that has no government money or infrastructure to even really help its own working poor and and some of the highest rates of joblessness in the state, in additon to a bad heroin problem) during a cold, rainy winter is one idea that doesn't work.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the most important part is DON'T PUT ANYTHING IN THE MOUTH of someone having a seizure. Much better to not have a tongue than to die. I'd rather waste the $1,000 on a useless ambulance fee than have someone kill me while trying to help me.

Anonymous said...

Liv Moe to Squirty Tip:

I can tell you all about having crack heads living in your house. Despite the fact that just about everything I once owned that was of any importance to me has been stolen by said homeless crackheads I still don't feel the need to behave cruely to the less fortunate, and kudos to the 13 year old who bestowed you with that extra clever moniker.

Anonymous said...

Hey,

I just wanted to sound off to Squirty Tip and say that if your looking for hypocrits, you got the wrong bunch. I can think immediately of one incident where Ms. Heckasacramento put her ass on the line for a woman who was getting beat up (homeless) while a bunch of no-good-nicks sipped beer at the Pyramid brewer and watched on. Other readers of this blog, as stated above, have resorted to dealing with homeless people in a constructive and tolerable manner as well. So you can suck it.

Sincerely,
High On The Horse,
Better than You are,
I've never been to Willy's and I never will,
Suck it,

heckamax

Anonymous said...

Hi Beth,

Yup, I completely understand the need for someone to call an ambulance when someone is having a seizure. But it only helps the crowd feel better, not the person having the seizure.

Trust me, I understand. I've had this same conversation with my sister who panicked and called the ambulance even though there was a girlfriend and other family members who said not to do it.

It's an unwanted, expensive, wasteful ride.

Anonymous said...

Hey URFools-

So, you'll go on the record with all that? Cosmo over at the News and Review will definitely want to talk to you. Of course you're not too cowardly to stand by your words here, right?

I don't care if he was drunk. i don't care if he weighs 160 pounds or 90. I don't care if he'd been picked up the night before. Dousing a handicapped homeless person with water on a freezing night is a heinous and cowardly act. It may even be an illegal act... people are looking into that.

And one question for you: if this act was so 'ok' why do you think that the parties responsible are now denying that it ever happened?

Anonymous said...

As someone who has worked for the Virga family and the Paesano’s corporation in several different capacities over the last six years I feel compelled to speak out on this issue. Unfortunately, I was not present on the night in question, so I am unable to speak specifically about the events that transpired due to the fact that I have no first hand knowledge of what went on and I am not the type of person to respond to hearsay. I am however, able to speak on what I do know first hand, and that is the integrity and the character of the men I work for. As I stated earlier, I have known and worked for Dave Virga and Mark Scribner, the owners of Paesanos, for over six years and currently work for them as a manager at Paesanos Midtown. I feel confident in saying that the men that I work for are by no means the type of men who would at any time deliberately or maliciously hurt another human being. I would like to think that over a six year period I have gotten to know both men very well and on a personal level. I can say with certainty that both Dave and Mark are generous, kind, considerate, thoughtful, decent, and honorable men. However, I don’t want you to take my word for it; let their actions speak for themselves. Mark and Dave donate considerably each year to the Francis House, which so happens to be a charity for the homeless. Leftover food from the restaurant or any catering that Paesanos does goes directly to Loaves & Fishes, which is also a charity for the homeless. Paesanos has a loyal local clientele, due not to the great food that we serve, but quite frankly due to these two men, their generosity and their integrity. I would ask that we judge these men not in the court of public opinion and by one purported incident, but rather by the outstanding record of positive community involvement.

Rachel Mayse
Paesano’s Manager

Anonymous said...

So Rachel.. you clearly know exactly what happened, even if you weren't there. Why don't you come out and say that neither of the owners nor any other managers at Paesano's dumped a bucket of water on a handicapped homeless man?

you won't say that, because you know it's true.

Upon closer reading, it also seems very likely that 'URFools' is actually someone from paesano's trying to do damage control. URF knows an awful lot about a two day sequence of events for someone who just happened to be sitting next door. I also note that he's been on blogger since, whoah, February 24!

If this is all so innocent, why don't the folks in question come out and stand their ground? They did exactly what they are accused of doing, and they were stupid enough to do it in front of a crowded restaurant, a crowded cafe and a street full of traffic and valet parking attendants, not all of whom thought it was 'funny'.

Anonymous said...

We all have anger issues. We are all hateful, spiteful, cruel, unloving souls. We are all pointing fingers. We are all filling our own ballooned cluttered egos with contempt and animosity. This cycle continues. Hope that the true fool in all of us rears its beautiful head and says "I am empty, loving and full of new positive ideas. I love everyone. I love myself and I love this world."

AEIOU (hugh)

This post will go unnoticed. Thank hugh.

Anonymous said...

hey URF-

I hate to break it to you, but I'm no raving homeless hugger liberal. I'm not gonna get into the backstory 'cause anybody who knows me knows EXACTLY why i might not be so fond of all the homeless folks out there, but let it be said that i wouldn't be saying a goddamn thing if people from paesano's called the cops on the guy. That would have been a proper response to the situation.

I'll say it again... if their response was so 'reasonable', why won't they stand by it?

Time for you to go back to work at paesano's or Hukilau.

Anonymous said...

Hey Rachel, I hope you can live with yourself. I'd feel like crap being put in a position of damage control over something this heartless.

I know the story from all kinds of angles and I know it's not going to be published. But I'm glad it's not something I'm defending.

A long time in a hot shower would help all of you. Even the stink bomb homeless guy.

Anonymous said...

I am not sure if you actually read my post, but I am in no way speaking of any said incident. I am speaking solely on the character and integrity of the men I work for. I stated quite clearly that I could not speak on that specific incident since I was not there that night and have no idea as to what happened. As someone who defends homeless people's rights on a daily basis I CAN live with myself and sleep at night, thank you very much. I am in no way defending any "situation". Once again, as I stated CLEARLY in my post I am simply speaking about and for the men I work for. At least I am comfortable singing my name to these posts. Can you?

Anonymous said...

Published journalist: Do you always aid and abet? Just checking my sources, jerk-o.

~Wingnutamy


Battery

A battery is the willful or intentional touching of a person against that person’s will by another person, or by an object or substance put in motion by that other person. Please note that an offensive touching can constitute a battery even if it does not cause injury, and could not reasonably be expected to cause injury.

Anonymous said...

Midtown has gentrified--too much posh and red roof tile.Keep buying your imports as you know asia is just holding the check--they will cash it soon and we all be homeless.Chewbacca Defense...The Greek Village just bad,i dunno where a good greek joint is in town.But i`ve been in japan for like 2 years.So i make pitas/falafels homemade over here there tasty..Chewbacca Defense.Being a Foreigner i get a lot fruit for presents but i already got enough so i give it to homeless dudes at karashima park..I used to drink with them but i pickled my liver..Japan can do that as in shigoto no nomu..Drinking is working vice versa..Someday i open a falafel stand in kumamoto..There Turkish Kebab Van but they put thousand island dressing on the kebabs..Chewbacca Defense..
So..
So quit eating out Sactoe..
give fruit and stuff away when ya get it for presents..
Quit buying everything cause it`not actually your money it`s some dudes in beijing..
and Chewbacca Defense...jay

Anonymous said...

If ya'll see some poor sap actively seizing on the sidewalk, go ahead and call 911. Sure, more than likely he's epilepic, but do you now for sure? If it's secondary to a head injury or hypoglecemia, he probably won't be OK.

Anonymous said...

Damn I love what being in Japan has done to Jay's already limited grasp of language. It's downright poetic.

Anonymous said...

I`m sure they said that of Mark Twain at sometime.Or it`s the japanese keyboard or the mixture of country side japanese kumamoto ben with a side of white gravy.No it must be the yakuza guy sippin sake thru a straw in a plastic carton playing hard gay pachinko..Hard Gay he`s real but he`s straight..So a total let down.
Anybody wanna visit we got plenty of space..but ya have to bring peanut butter cups cause they don`t belive in peanut butter cups here...

Anonymous said...

Ok all I'm going to say is this.....I was there, with Tiff....

I'm going to put some perspective of the whole thing and set some shit straight that's being reposted by people who weren't even there.

That's the beauty of the internet isn't it? Its like the fools foundation thing all over again....

Anyway. Throwing water on a homeless man is totally wrong. This is a human being were talking about here. I personally didn't find it funny and neither did Tiff or any of the other women servers and a couple of the males......
That being said. This whole situation I saw with my own eyes and had a problem with...

BUT here's where the clarification comes and in...and I'm sure THIS won't get reposted but whatever.

A. He wasn't 90 pounds at all. People love to embelish stories when they're already so wrong...but lemme tell you, this dude, who I've seen like a million times is like at least 210 220. Not like it matters its still wrong but just thought I'd set it straight.

B. This dude wasn't going in to convulsions. Its just that simple. Tiff didn't see it, neither did I. Another embelishment people are using to to demonise the owners....again the water thing is totally fucked.

C. I've been there on literally 3 occasions where it was extremely busy and this said homeless man has been on that bench with his flask, passing or passed out. Or harassing customers in a totally normal downtown situation...where they've called the police....and the fire dept showed up first creating a huge scene in front of the customers and passersbys.
Total, they've called the police/fire dept. 7 times....the normal ordeal being about and hour or something more....

I imagine this is a huge problem for the owners...what the fuck do u do? This man keeps coming back literally every night after he gets out of the drunk tank. Seriously, what do you do? Water isn't the answer but I have no idea what you should do. This must be really huge problem for the owner....again water isn't the answer but what is?

Anyway I'm just saying these are the things I'm thinking when I'm reading peoples blogs and posts that they haven't thought about this from every side.

That's all. Please don't email me asking about what all this means if you don't know the story. I'm not going to go into it.

Anonymous said...

Ok all I'm going to say is this.....I was there, with Tiff....

I'm going to put some perspective of the whole thing and set some shit straight that's being reposted by people who weren't even there.

That's the beauty of the internet isn't it? Its like the fools foundation thing all over again....

Anyway. Throwing water on a homeless man is totally wrong. This is a human being were talking about here. I personally didn't find it funny and neither did Tiff or any of the other women servers and a couple of the males......
That being said. This whole situation I saw with my own eyes and had a problem with...

BUT here's where the clarification comes and in...and I'm sure THIS won't get reposted but whatever.

A. He wasn't 90 pounds at all. People love to embelish stories when they're already so wrong...but lemme tell you, this dude, who I've seen like a million times is like at least 210 220. Not like it matters its still wrong but just thought I'd set it straight.

B. This dude wasn't going in to convulsions. Its just that simple. Tiff didn't see it, neither did I. Another embelishment people are using to to demonise the owners....again the water thing is totally fucked.

C. I've been there on literally 3 occasions where it was extremely busy and this said homeless man has been on that bench with his flask, passing or passed out. Or harassing customers in a totally normal downtown situation...where they've called the police....and the fire dept showed up first creating a huge scene in front of the customers and passersbys.
Total, they've called the police/fire dept. 7 times....the normal ordeal being about and hour or something more....

I imagine this is a huge problem for the owners...what the fuck do u do? This man keeps coming back literally every night after he gets out of the drunk tank. Seriously, what do you do? Water isn't the answer but I have no idea what you should do. This must be really huge problem for the owner....again water isn't the answer but what is?

Anyway I'm just saying these are the things I'm thinking when I'm reading peoples blogs and posts that they haven't thought about this from every side.

That's all. Please don't email me asking about what all this means if you don't know the story. I'm not going to go into it.

Anonymous said...

URFools wrote:

The problem with flying off the handle without actually witnessing an event is that the masses (insert your name here...) then feel safe to whip themselves into an unsubstantiated frenzy under the safe anonymity of the glorious internet.

I love when people complain about anonymous posts while posting anonymously themselves -- with a link to a non-existant blog, no less.

Oh, and word of advice: if you want people to truly believe you're a published journalist, comments like...

I actually am a published journalist

...are kind of a giveaway that you're not.

Anonymous said...

When did Shaun get a job at Paesanos? I better start boycotting his shows. Oh wait, I don't go anyway.

I saw the 120 pound homeless guy tonight, so he's still alive.

Anonymous said...

URFOOLS,
I think the most compelling part of your argument is the name calling. Good work. Did the job on me. You were on the debate team in high school? If not you should have been. Them tactics are gold medal material. Made me read the rest of your thoughts with the utmost of respect for the souce ya know.

Anonymous said...

Not to beat a dead horse, but in the comments related to the Paisano's Incident, there were two (at least) references to Stinkbomb having a flask. When I think "flask", I think Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest among other flicks. Maybe the posters meant "half pint bottle" or "pint bottle," but I seriously doubt a sot like He Who Stinks And Walks Really Slow would shell out the 10 or 15 bucks for a flask. What new accessories will he add next, a bejewelled walking stick? A ruby-tipped tie tack for his silken ascot? Since when does he weigh even close to 200 pounds? Whew. I think I will buy him an FDR-style cigarette holder to complete the jaunty ensemble.
Ed

werenotdeep said...

I'd sort of like to come on the record as saying that a lot of the periferal issues mentioned, and even discussed at length, do not seem to have been focused on as though they were really the heart of the issue.

For example, a lot might have been said about that there was, or may or may not have been a seizure. A lot was discussed about having seizures, and speculated about what, in this instance, might have caused such a seizure, conjecture about bystander indifference, and what to do about someone who is having a seizure.

All of these things, along with speculations about the person's height, weight, hair color, and other such petty details, though they perhaps might have been taken as true parts of the overall event, do not seem to have ever been discussed as the core of the issue.

I don't really think anybody based their opinion on things like how big the guy was, if he was having a seizure, or if he was wearing freshly stolen leather shoes, or 28 year old flip flops.

Do not confuse a side conversation for somebody claiming to make a bona-fide report or a condemnation based on what they are easily willing to assume must be a fact. I look back on here, and though I admit that this has promted some people to get off topic or make suppositions, I really don't see anybody condemning any supposed guilty parties based on these peripheral points.

In an example, Dave Smith brought up seizures because he has personal experience with epilepsy, and because seizures became a topic of discussion, it didn't really look like Dave was making any point about the core of the issue. Maybe that convolutes the thread of commentary on this post, but you've got to be a little thick to confuse what he was saying for his supposing that an event that he didn't witness must have happened exactly as he heard it. That's not to say that the seizure angle didn't get a little hammed into it, and I agree with Shaun about the business of the gossip aspect. But just because somebody expounds on a supposition does not mean they are taking it as fact and that they are basing their moral justifications for what they think about it.

Basically, it comes down to it happened or it didn't. Either a homeless guy who was asleep (albeit most likely passed out from being drunk) got water thrown on him on a very cold night, or he didn't.

Yeah, I used to live on that block, and I've seen fire trucks and ambulances and cop cars with lights going around quite often, and it just doesn't seem that likely that Paesano's food is so bad that it's giving out heart attacks like breath mints.

It's not an easy issue to deal with. Nevertheless, dumping water on the guy from the roof, which is not a reactionary measure, you have to go fill up a bucket and strategically plan it, isn't right at all. I mean, you can disagree with me, but if you're the one being accused of doing it, either you did it or you didn't. Don't even bother defending the action unless you're going to either effectively deney or admit to it, because it's pointless.

Now, if I'm to beleive that all the witnesses who have come forward are lieing and that it never happened, I'm also supposed to beleive that somebody who says they witnessed it happened is ready to defend the person who threw the water. So well, what's it going to be?

Anonymous said...

Hi there. I'm a reporter with The Sacramento Bee. An editor mentioned that this conversation was going on - and I'm curious to talk with anyone who knows anything about the incident. If you did see anything - or know anyone who did - please contact me: jwiener@sacbee.com or (916)321-1967...Thanks, Jocelyn

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with this blog?!?
It's supposedly Sacramento-supportive writer, HeckaSAC,uses every available opportunity to take incidents in which one person practiced bad judgement (read: a Paesano's manager or the husband of the proprietor of Fool's Foundation) to discredit owners of locally-owned businesses. What follows unfailingly is a stream of bandwagon-jumping trash-talking by said writer's indignant friends about indidents which none of them has actually witnessed. Then of course the "news" makes its way to the friends of friends at local newspapers and the plague of complaints are drawn out further. If the people who so readily jump to attack the "wallets" of these local business owners would spend as much time trying to make their own lives and careers more meaningful (one would suppose that the writer, at least, cannot possibly be doing so with how much time she seemingly spends dealing with such gossipy issues on this site)we would all of us in SAC be a bit better off. People make mistakes. You've properly hyperbolized that here, drawn it into black and whites, called enough of them out and then belittled those who came to their aid. Move on. I'm tired of my friends forwarding me this petty drivel. You're not changing the world. You're making it more convoluted and annoying.

beckler said...

No, I'm not changing the world. For the last year and a half I've been writing a blog mostly filled with local food and music reviews and news. I concentrate on that, but I post about whatever the fuck I want, from Paris Hilton's nip slips to city planning. I can tell you don't read it because you have a false impression of the content. That's cool, don't read it if you think it's dumb, but you shouldn't comment if you don't know what you're talking about. Over the life of this blog, I have gotten majorly busted out for three posts

1)Some gossip about Kevin Seconds sex life back when I didn't think that more than 20 or so people that I know were reading. Kev seemed amused, no big deal.

2)An very unfortunate racially charged incident that the Fool's Foundation gallery was peripherally involved in (it was hard for me to phrase this correctly and the way I wrote it will probably piss someone off). I'm not sure whether my post ultimately hurt or helped (I hope helped), but people knew about it and were talking about it anyway. Liz is cool with what I wrote.

3)An incident that occurred at Paesanos. You are free to judge on your own if it was lame or not. I think it clearly was. There is some argument over the facts of what happens but the facts seem to be that a homeless man got water dumped on him during business hours and the management is denying it.

So, anonymous chopbuster, that's three posts out of hundreds and hundreds. You can keep bringing them up for forever and a day if you'd like.

beckler said...

I wish I could edit that last comment to say "argument about the DETAILS, but the facts are..."

Anonymous said...

The anonymous posters seem to have an attitude in common. That is: it (racial slur, dousing a homeless person) is not a matter worth discussion. *Shut up about it and go home. You think too much. So and so is a thin-skinned crybaby. So and so is a stinky person who annoys the hell out of people.* And about those accused (or alleged to have committed) of doing something crappy, these anonymous posters go all apologist. *It didn't happen. Okay, it did happen, but it didn't happen that badly. He/she/it is a really nice guy/lady/person. He/she/it loves injured animals and does a lot of good for the community. Leave h/s/i alone already.*

The previous paragraph is simply an observation. It is meant to point out the commonalities of nameless posters. To recap: the nameless posters are either apologists for crappy behavior or are part of the shutyourfuckingmouthandignorethis gang.

I am glad that there are people who actually give a crap about crappy crap that sometimes happens. Beckler's blog might be cause for people to better govern themselves. (Ideally, it shouldn't be, but still, better to do the right thing for a not-so-great reason than trying to play dirty)

Thank you heckasac.

Sincerely,

nameless ed

Anonymous said...

What an asshole! Are you guys suprised though? I know people who've dealt with him, and would rather not. Crazy old dudes can be a pain, but hey- they're out in the cold for whatever reason, live and let live. We have homes to go to. Plus, it's a part of LIVING IN A CITY!

What the hell is going on anyway? All these LA type restaurants with their valets and all that shallow shit. Snooty people go to these places to be seen and then go back to Elk fucking Grove in their Escalades or bigger, the Cadillac EarthCrusher. All these poncey restaurants- and what's worse is these sheep eat it up! I think progress is good to a degree, bu it's not always a step forward. No wonder people are moving to Oregon.

All this crap is killing Sac. it makes me really sad. Not only that, how many of you just love seeing those McMansions on the way to Eldorado Hills? Surrounded by Disney Malls?

Where is the love? The love of our city adn the residents however loopy they may be? Who doesn't love the Rasta guy from outerspace who pushes that 10 speed? I know I do.

Anonymous said...

Just have to chime in again. That this issue is being discussed here is great. And the dude bitching about how annoying it is got to post his opinions too, part of what makes it great. Such a forum is a valuable thing, so I must join Ed in saying thanks for hosting it HeckaSac.

As for the local mainstream media getting involved, they should be more qualified than us gossip whores to get to the facts yes? So it's a good thing.

Anonymous said...

You note that people may flame you for your opinion. Perhaps people will flame you for fefering to us all as faggots.

Anyway, look into the problems of mental illness so prevalent in the homeless population. It's heartbreaking. It's more complex than a bunch of degenerates choosing to be drunk and punk.
Sincerely,
Faggot

Anonymous said...

Just some thoughts...

There seems to be alot of black & white in the arguements here.

Labelling all homeless with the blanket of "mentally ill" takes away any aspect of personal responsibility. Labelling them all as dirtbags/leeches/etc. ignores the fact that, yes, some (the majority) of the people are mentally ill.

If this guy was actually doing no harm and sleeping on a bench or something, then I completely disagree with the action taken.

If this dude, as has been said, was a recurring nuisance and actively harrassing customers AND they had already called the cops on numerous occasions, then fuck it, throw some water on him. If getting picked up by the cops numerous times wont stop him, maybe some cold water will.

Yeah, its childish, but its also not Paesano's fault that our goverment has closed the majority of mental health facilities around the nation. Is everyone just supposed to absorb the ill effects of this?

And many of homeless arent always harmless. A good friend of mine was recently severly beaten by one of these poor homeless. Dude was out-of-his-mind crazy, I'm sure.

I myself have been approached by panhandlers who have become violent towards me. The one that really scared me was in SF. I was eating on a sunday morning in front of a nice cafe. DRUNK dude comes walking up the sidewalk and starts his sales pitch. My friend cuts him off with "No, I'm not giving you any money." For the next 45 minutes this guy was screaming bloody murder at my friend, threatening to kill her, pulling a knife in and out of his pants. 45 minutes is how long it took for the cops to show up. You can bet not a single person walked into that restaurant and alot of them probably never went back.

This live and let be mentality is stupid. For those on the streets who are ill/addicted/etc, they will remain a danger to themselves and others. As long as the maximum amount of care provided to these people is a 48 hour lockup, there will continue to be repurcussions such as this. Homeless people will continute to harass & assault and business owners will continue to suffer because of it.

The homeless situation in Sacramento and elsewhere in the US is a really really saddening thing.

So, whats the solution? I'm serious, lets take this discussion somewhere more interesting.

I'm gonna sign anonymous... I guess you can delete it if you want to.

Anonymous said...

I'd say someone big at Paesanos must've been clued in that most of the people who read heckasac are teachers, musicians, and the "creative type" who help sway influence over people.

They'll feel the effect of their dousing action in their wallets for a little while. There's over 70 posts so no point in him reading what was written, he just flung shit and hopes some of it sticks.

Anonymous said...

The best solution I've seen thus far is written about in the New Yorker article that's linked somewhere in this mess.

miller

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I disagree with the last anonymous post (I still think dousing a homeless person with water is wrong) -- but I like that he/she sounded rational about the whole thing, gave some convincing and sound arguments while not resorting to sweeping generaliztions like I did earlier (I feel like an ass now). See, constructive discussion can happen and you don't even have to use the word "faggot"!

Anonymous heckamax, drinking Starbucks

beckler said...

hey, it's come to my attention that maybe some of these comments have been cut and pasted from myspace, maybe without the authors knowing about it. sorry about that. i had no idea.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure that the one that said 'I miss U gurly! When R U coming 2 visit?! :)' was swiped from MS.

lol

miller

beckler said...

hey smiller-
why don't me and you have a secret blog at the end of these comments? heckamax and connie can be invited, too. shh. no one will notice.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
beckler said...

Wow, now that I dont' have a blog anymore I don't feel bad about removing obnoxious comments! It's great!

Anonymous said...

sorry to butt-in to a secret conversation, but i couldn't find an e-mail or anything so i figgered i'd just leave a comment here. feel free to delete, cause it's not really something interesting or that everyone needs to see. i was just thinking maybe there's a setting so only certain people could read your blog? i know on myspace you can set it so only your friends, or even only select friends could read blogs. i know it's lame but i thought it might be an option. personally i read heckasac everyday for shit like this, and the music reviews. i'm not to into the food you review usually and the movie reviews are great and all but it's all about the sacramento goings-on, wether it's gossip or hearsay or whatever. i totally understand not wanting to continue (i would've stopped as soon as i knew sn&r was reading, but i'm chickenshit like that) but it bums me out that i'll have one less thing to kill time at work...

-cooter.

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog!!!

I went to the Spaghetti Factory last night. The pasta was lame but I got to sit next to a real old-timey cable car. My point? There is none. I just like secret blogging. Hi Cooter. You are my pick for new manager.

Smiller! How can I get a copy of the new Smashing Times?!!

Beckasac!! Celeberity Sighting at Temple!!! Edward James Olmos!!! Miami Vice, dude!! He smiled at the group I was sitting in cause we were obviously talking about him in that "hey, isn't that...?" way. Rad.

Oh yes, this Friday, Lyme Regis, Spiral States (featuring members of Sofia) and Sex Rat (!) are playing at this awesome bar called Old Ironsides.It is this really awesome bar that pays bands really well. They also give the band a whole pitcher of beer to drink for free!!!

-I'm tired Guys. Poll: Should I quit my job?

-heckamax

Anonymous said...

-heckamax

I'll tell you what Edward James Olmos told me yesterday...Do you know why nobody wants to fight a mexican boxer? Because they don't quit.

and that should go for you too hecka. Anyways by the time you get back from mexico maybe Gaylord India restaurant will be open and i'll need a review from you. It's a chain but at least its not a steak place and their web site says they are rated in the top ten of indian restaurants worldwide. I've never been to a upscale indian restaurant before and i'm exited for it to open. MULLIGATAWNY SOUP oh boy!!!

your friend the homzee

oh ya heckamax, i thought you were gonna get led zeplin or the smiths to open for ya. did jerry nix that idea 2 ?

your friend nob hill

Anonymous said...

Secret blog!! Heckamax, I'll bring the new Smashing Times to the show Friday. And if you're lucky, maybe the new Fiery Furnaces too. It totally rules! Blueberry Boat with some damn songs.

miller

Alice said...

miller,

now that this is a secret blog it's safe for me to ask how i can get on the smashing times thing. maybe i'll just give you some money or something at the show at that cool bar on friday. i think you already know my address.

lisa ninja said...

I can't stop checking Heckasac! Sheesh, it's like an illness.

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog!!!

Sweet. Miller, is there anything I can burn for you in repayment? Can I do a Smashing Times for U2? Or the Cult?

-Heckamax

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog!!! That's all.



Wait, no, Heckamax, you can do a Smashing Times on anybody you want. But if you do a Cult one, it has to hit in the summer! Love Remov-a-a-a-a-ll! Supposed future issues: Beckasac's Nillson one, Nic's ambient Eno one and my Dennis Wilson one.

Forever,
miller

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog!!

Al Maxwell presents SMASHING TIMES 11(?): THE CULT.

But would it kick off with She Sells Sanctuary or Love Removal Machine? Would it include anything by the Southern Death Cult? Would I be obliged to include Fire Woman because the Four Eyes played it live (while I worked out onstage -- the proudest moment of my life)?
Should the liner notes be written while under the influence of Peyote? Would David Paul like to co-author it with me?

I'll do it in the Summer.

-Al (heckamax@www.secretblog.com)

Anonymous said...

Al,
I see your secret blog & raise you a SECRET BLOG!! She Sells Santuary has to open that bad boy! And please, Revolution, for me?

miller

www.secretblog.co.uk

Anonymous said...

Forget the new posts, the real action is down here. On the secret blog!!

miller

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog!!!!!

I just want everyone here at the secret blog to know that secret blogging rules. PS I loved the Animal Collective show and I loved the kids with painted faces. Where do the kids who like Animal Colective come from? Why are they so Buck? Can they get on the secret blog? They sure ain't in Elk Grove.

-heckasecretblogmax

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

A comment too secret even for the secret blog.

miller

Anonymous said...

Damn, I try to keep a close eye on the secret blog.

Little Timmy Paesanos

Anonymous said...

Look out! It's comment #100 on the SECRET BLOG!!

-secret blog dog

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog!

Hats off to secret blog dog. And you have a great name.

-heckasecretmax

beckler said...

I wish I could build a time machine and erase this dumb blog feud with kev secs. But I'll only confess that on the secret blog.

beckler said...

If I had a time machine I would actually kill Hitler. But if it was about to break apart and I could make one more trip really quick, I would ignore that post that Kev posted.

Anonymous said...

wow, a few days away and already fighting starts...you'd think this blog was called dirty laundry or something? maybe don henly will be known as a hipster now that i wrote his name on your blog.

kick'em when they're up
kick'em when their homzee!!!

ps. i like when you link to craigs list...why do peeps gotta hate on that?

Anonymous said...

Heya Secret Blog and Dirty Laundry.

Yeah, blog feuding is rough. You shoudl feud with Barnesyard, though. That guy is talking mad shit.

-Heckamax

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog!!!

Okay, I officially love the new Fiery Furnaces. It always takes me a while. I wonder if listening to Rehearsing The Choir a few more times would open it up to me.

Heckamax

beckler said...

You have to listen to rehearsing my choir 689 times at which point you go insane and hallucinate that friedberger granny is in front of you singing it and then it rules.

Anonymous said...

I think the SECRET BLOG! just got a little secret-er!! Secret blog, you so crazy!!

miller

Anonymous said...

Wilton is way nice "rrr" than Lincoln!

hey smiller "rrr" you gonna go to limelight for that st. patty's cornbeef? call me.

dirty laundry

Anonymous said...

I meant, Wheatland is way nice"rrr" than Lincoln!

Theodore d.(for dirty laundry) Judah

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog!!!

Okay. I'm wondering if I should be the first to mention it, but RIP Loft. Our stuff has to be out by May first I think.

After hearing this news I drove home and "Summer of 69" came on and I felt completely nostalgic. Because of this, Danny says I can't make fun of Paul anymore.

-Heckamax @ Secret Blogspot

Anonymous said...

I'm making some "I heard it on the secret blog!" shirts - if anyone wants one, contact me on the secret blog.

"miller"

Anonymous said...

Size medium, please. Style: Indie fuckin' hipster.

-heckamax

Anonymous said...

PS the new Smashing Times Rules.


SEEEEEECREEEEEEET BLOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

beckler said...

Can you just screen "i heard it on the secret blog" on my chucks? Or I'll just write it in pen cuz that's the kind of think a fake-nostalgic-epper-echelon-indie-hipster like me does. P.S.-it is 330 on wednesday and everyone at my work has gone home for the day. I'm bored. Time to look at dirty stuff on the internet. Cameltoe.com here I come!

Anonymous said...

E-40's new album comes out tom. march 16th,"My Ghetto Report Card". i think most of it is produced by little jon too. I heard the balliticion say his new shit ain't bananas, its coconuts! but i think he meant to say his new album ain't stagecoach its the steak spaghetti shrimp that you get when you're a pimp at Trails!!!
have you seen his video on mtv fer get stupid? its crazy, i wonder if this will be the year he blows up?

mustard and mayonaise

Anonymous said...

Looks like I just stumbled on to the SECRET BLOG!! Corned beef - 1:00 PM Homzee! You can do it!

miller@secretblog.edu

Anonymous said...

Dear Secret Blog,

When stumbling around Europe, specifically Italy, Greece, Paris, Scotland, Ireland, and England, should I stay in pre-booked hotels or hostels?

I'm looking for travel advice, folks!!

PS. The Feeling's new name is The Spiral States but I will always call it The Feeling.

-Heckamax

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking what a drag it would be if Heckamax had to look at the SECRET BLOG!!! one more time & think "is it dead? is the SECERT BLOG dead?!?!". The answer is no.

secret blog dog!!

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog!!!

It ain't dead, bro!!

Now, for the juciest gossip in town on the SECRET BLOG....

Did you know that....

Vince turned thirty?

Nitro might have fleas?(gasp!) Again? (Double Gasp!)

The Feeling are recording an Album?

I've never read Moby Dick? (Gasp!) But I've heard the Led Zepplin song "Moby Dick" thousands of times?

The Loft is closing?

Dave Smith is now general manager at Tower?

Cody is Scottish?

That the Secret Blog ain't dead?

HECKAMMAAAAAAAAXXXXXXX

Anonymous said...

DID someone reallllyyyy leave the homzee a message @ 10:15 AM. only on the secret blog, dog!

feeling (like a )DIRTY raspberry

did the irish reallllyyyy leave me a fridgeful of harps, extra cold guinnes, and jameson triple distilled whiskey, here at the office i mean the indie fuckin hipster cafe? oh yessssess they saint did!

hey miller if you happen to stumble on to the secret blog anytime before 5:00 a.m. tonight/this morning there's a special on irish car bombs. You can do it! "holiday what a lovely day today" "i don't need no seditives to slow me down, I don't need no sleepin pills to...damm this song is harshin my workday back to waterloo sunset, thats a drinkin jam, i mean workday jam. oh ya heckamax there is a grill here if you wanna make those internationalll house of scotish pancakes and listen to the kinks (is their a band called the drinks?) hell everyone on the secret blog is invited, i'm getting hungry. lets call it st. patty's part 2 i'm still drunk and i O'want some McPancakes

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog!!!!

Homzee you get the first secret blog award for the most killer post on the secret blog yet.

SECREEEEEET BLOOOOOOGGGGGGG.

IRISH CAR BOMB
heckamax

Anonymous said...

WOW, its an honor to be honored by the Secret Blog Honor Society for thee above mentioned honor, but before you get honorific here i must honorable admit something to your honor. I was using blog enhancing illegal drugs such as the drink and the bomb when i recorded the one hundred and twentysecond post on the secret blog, dog.(and i'm still posting using the drink, and thinkin about makin a bomb soon) So I can understand if there is presure from your honorary canon to put an *asterics* by my honor roll award.

in other news, there is probably a chance to getta celeberity sighting
of Al Franken at Temple sometime tom. morning since he's doing a broadcast of his show at a nearby theatre.(and you know its gotten bad for said nearby theatre's staff when they're counting on homzee to be at work by 7:30 am)

hecka-half2drink myself2sleep soon before i get the urge to blow something up!

St. homzeerick

beckler said...

heckamax-
don't stay in hostels. unless you want some hot teenage australo-danish action. hostels lead to things like me and grace getting into a fight with two teenage french byatches at four in the morning. homzee-i have to get you your turn table, sorry i didn't call you back. how was visconti's?

i'm now selling silk-screened american apparel tshirts that say "i heard it on the secret blog". drop a check or money order for 99.95 with the old lady at cheung hing with the punk rock haircut

Anonymous said...

oh its a'right i'm house sitting at my aunts and she has a turntable, give it to me when you get back from spring break.(I just wanted to make my bro a cd for his birthday but i can do it at my aunts, i should just get him a I heard it on the secret blog T-shirt...size xtra gangsta...oh my gosh he's got this homeless friend staying at my moms now who was sleeping in his car for a week...the kid told my mom that sleeping on the floor in my bros room was the the best sleep he's ever had) visconti's was really good but our waitress was kinda lame and our table was set up in a weird spot where there was constantly people walking by/around us which with the wine started making me feel alittle dizzy. the place was packed, and old man visconti seemed really happy so that was cool! i got the spicy arrabiata but next time i go i'ma gonna get the vodka sauce or that seafood one that you get. Its weird nothing on the menu has changed (but the prices) in the 6 or 7 years i've been going there.
Maybe i'm just spioled now since i live with two people who work at masons and they bring home new menus all the time plus a synopsis written by the chef explaining how and why each ingriediant was chosen and why he decided to cook it that way as opposed to the normal way yada yada yada. Mike said he has a crazy savant knowledge of food and its habitat, like if you name any oceanic fish he can tell you at what depth it was caught, or if they bought beets from a place that had a freeze or colder year than usual he knows a special recipe to use and why you should cook/season it this/his way... do i have a bonner? maybe!!!

fuck i half togo to sleep, the al franken thing was not yesterday,its today...this morning...i need to stop getting irish at the office, but it tastes soooo goooooood!!!

st.good taste and good times in equal measure.

beckler said...

were the kitchen guys doing sexy tongue motions at jenny this time?

Anonymous said...

naw, jenny and margx both sat with their backs to the kitchen and the chef dudes were all old guys this time. Not like grampas but like our dads ages(which i guess if we both had kids would make them grampas) so ah no the grampas didn't wave their tongues at jenny this time. our table was also near this foursome of folsom hoties who didn't look, so, so hotie when they were sitting down, but then when they left(sorry i pulled a charles but didn't announce it) it looked like they all had on the EXACT same pair of designer jeans. which led me to fantasize about...what if...Dave West's homemade jeans became the new half to have pants for the ladies and then all the jokes i could make.(i know thats dum dum dum DUMB but just imagine i had my stunna shades on)
In other homzee news i went to lebanon tonight with my mom and aunty margo for dinner and the Maaloufs still totally love me. "Where have you been my friend?" and my mom works with the
Ethiopian waitresses good friend so we all were talking and necklace was totally flirting with my aunt. "you don't live here oh thats bad news for me!" i love that guy.
one more dumb thing but have you been to espn.com yet and voted for the king's dance squad? We're in the western confrence finals with a chance to dance??? for the championship but we are lossing to seatle's squad by 3% or 4% of the vote.

Slamson

beckler said...

how did his wife feel about him flirting with your aunt? that poor woman! the kings dancers were wearing crazy obscene outfits when they lost to the wizards (first time the wizards have won at arco since 96!!). the outfit was cowboy hat, chaps, and panties.

Anonymous said...

I'm off to Mexico but it wouldn't be right if I didn't say a special "hang in there" to the SECRET BLOG!!!!!!!!

-senor secret blog dog

beckler said...

i can't believe we checked it at almost the exact same time! looks like it's just the two of us left on the secret blog. now we can start saying sexy things. like weiner. and piehole.

Anonymous said...

And the sexiest phrase of all......SECRET BLOG!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

SECRET BLOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGG!!!!

So, a man doesn't post on the secret blog for a few days and we think its just handy dandyto say piehole and wiener. Well the hell it ain't! Take your smut to Barnesyard's secret Blog, Kev Sec's secret blog, or JAckson Griffith's Jackie Greene appreciation page, perverts.

Love,

The Commission to Keep Secret Blogs Totally Unsexy

Anonymous said...

The whole time I was in Mazatlan, all I thought about was the SECRET BLOG!!!! Get this, they don't even HAVE secret blogs in Mexico!

sbd.

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog Dogs and the commissioner to keep secret blogs T. U. The diciples and I are having a easter bbq blowout @ my house sunday! pleases come over its going to start sometime after 5pm. no need to bring food since you know i'm magic, bring spirits if you want but i'm sure their will be lots.

st. jesus

p.s. look for more celebrity
sightings at temple monday april 17th between the hours of 4:00pm-?

beckler said...

i will be praying and fasting all day sunday. i should bring your turntable by that day, though. and they do have secret blogs in mexico, they just call them secreto bloggos.

beckler said...

I heard a rumor that the secret blog is dead, but then I realized that it's just sick with... UNICORN FEVER!!!!

Anonymous said...

enough of your dam speculating beckler we all know the secret blog is burning up with...ANGELA BASSETT FEVER!!!

does anybody listen 101.9?
is it the weirdest station in sac?
where the fuck is it coming from?
are there dj's?
are they all on acid?
is it only wild after dark?
do they carry every song you will hear @ records on Kst?(maybe...)
did they really just play a weird disco version of thank god its friday... on wednesday?
did they really, really just follow that with a song with the following lyrics-"we want to multiply are you gonna do it" "i know you won't be satisfied until we do it" "some like it hot but you can't tell how hot till you try" "turn up the heat until we fry"?

is mike c still getting irish at the office? and is he with angella?
aangelleeerrrr!!!

did they just say rare earth
is playing raley field?

the maniac for boss radio

Anonymous said...

SEEEEECREEEEEET BLOOOOOGGG!

I now totally believe that Mike C is a Unicorn.

Question: What if Jandek's next album was called "The Unicorn"? Would that totally fucking rule or what?!!

The Unicorn!!!

Have you guys been checking out Jandek lately? He's fucking off the blog!! (new slang for cool -- like a secret blog).

-heckamax

Anonymous said...

whose getting ready to celebrate 4:20 on 4-20-06!!!

mike C. the Unicorn

Anonymous said...

wow, on my celabratory bike ride i saw 3 hippy kids freaking out over dat tree with the t(horns) on the corner of T and 21st. i totally told them the tree had a bad case of unicorn fever. nowaaay braaaah. yaaa realleeey. but uh uni means one and this tree is coverd with horns so uh uh...paints a pretty 420 picture doesn't it!

st.420

Anonymous said...

mango split mango split mango split

jandek

Anonymous said...

Homzee, did you see E-40 on Punk'd the other night? Kings Weed told me about it.

SEEEEEEEEEEEEECRET BLOG!

sbd

Anonymous said...

Hi, this is Jandek. Please listen for my new album, "The Unicorn Waits" dropping soon this summer. Recorded with Nitro on autoharp.

-Jandek

Anonymous said...

what? WHAT? What? Nooooooo!
i gotta see that dog

-Jandek are you dropping 2 albums in 1 summer because i thought your new album was called "Unicorns wear their hair like this" with nitro getting cute on the out of tune piano.

~someone who might know you, suckaa.

Anonymous said...

I can sleep better at night knowing that someone's got the Secret Blog's back at 5:00 AM.

sbd

Anonymous said...

Secret Blogggggggggg!!!!

I'll have you know that Alec Chumbley (good friend and Yuban)googled his name and heckasac came up!!!! Turns out Berkley people love it too!!!

Now, what if they hear about the secret blog?

-Allen

Anonymous said...

"good things in life take a long time"-yep i'm listening to 101.9 again but i'm not drinking guinness i've switched to jameson in hopes of shedding a few pounds to fit into my concert garb. nothing screams r kelly after party versace

homzrick

Anonymous said...

2 more hours till my seeeeecreeeeet blog gaurd ends

Anonymous said...

like versace like versace like versace

Anonymous said...

You guys probably already noticed this, but the secret blog is the best!! SEEECRETT BLOOOG!!!

sbd

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog Dawg, Homzeee, Beckasac, other Secret BLOGGERS,


SECRET BLOG PARTY!!! AT the SECRET BLOG!!!!

JUNE 9th!!!! MIDNIGHT!!!!!

BE THERE!! JANDEK AT THE GRAVEYARD, WI-FI CONNECTION, LIVE CAMS, HORSeSHOES and FISHSTICKS!!!!

Secret blog.

Secret Blog.

Secret Blog.

-heckamax

Anonymous said...

never, never mention the OTHERS around people who are into lost!!!

What would lock do?

~the seeecreeet island

ps. i'll be there!!!

beckler said...

lock would kill you for even asking that question. i'm down for the secret party at the secret blog. how will i know where it is without letting out the secret? or is it a virtual party?

shit now i'm tripping on what i'm going to wear to see kels. i got nothin'. no versace, do dolce, no gucci.

Anonymous said...

no gear = no ride in club jeep,no party in the hotel lobby, no trip to the penthouse suite...ect.

but i haven't even heard the new album, shit i gotta get on that.

R.homzee

Anonymous said...

is it just me or does anyone else keep thinking that that picture of joesphine is ursala, everytime they're looking for the... seeeeecreeeet blooooooog?

anyways look for a c-list celebrity sighting of..........
COACH fucking CARTER @ temple tom.

and no he's not interviewing for the kings vacancy, at least i don't think he is...=....

sbd & becks the cute'in is gone so i hope its mom came and got it..'_'

dog & butterfly

Anonymous said...

dog and butterfly, becks, smiller's sense of snow, coach carter...

June 9th!!!! MIDNIGHT!!!!

Party at the Secret Bloooooooog!!!!

Appearances by: Nickleback, Jandek, Hoobastank, Soul Taco and THE LOW FLYING ALS. Nitro accompanying all on autoharp.

Poetry Reading by Sir Talks Alot!!

Incantations and SPELLS by VINCE!!!

HERFERD HOUSE RESURRECTION!!

LEVITATION of the TOWER THEATRE!!

The Unicorn Drops!!! LIVE!!!

Live web broadcast from the Graveyard!!!

GET READY!

----- www.ihearditonthesecretblog.com

beckler said...

i'm sure the kitty was adopted by a bum and now they're the cutest couple evs. homzee i played tp3 for margs last night cuz she hadn't heard it either and it is straight background music. it's weak except for trapped in the closet.

Anonymous said...

i just read some concert reviews and they all said this tour is dedicated to the ladies and that R.'s dick is a big part of the show...wow...one reviewer from chicago wrote about r, "pretending to be wracked by an orgasm so intense that he passed out and had to be carried from the stage... wow, wow = (double wow) all the reviews did say that he was travelling with a live band and that his vioce had never sounded better... i'm sooooooo excited!!!

R.homzee

beckler said...

sorry i didn't see you after. i waited by your bike for a while but i left when you didn't show.

Anonymous said...

oh i'm sorry too, i should have walked over to where you were siting when the lights turned on. i don't know if you saw but i was kinda parallel to you from across the room. but then my r. kelly fever prevented me from leaving my seat until he left the stage. which was like a half hour later. it was so crazy he just kept hugging his friends and then his daughter would bring him up to the edge of the stage and he hugged and shook hands with like so many of his fans. he even looked up to the balcony and pionted to all of us still up there and then gave us a fist bump to his heart. all the while his other children were having balloon fights and the some of the dancers made a pile of balloons for his son to run and jump on, it was pretty funny and cute. Man there was so many people on stage at the end i wonder if any of them were in the boat video for step in the name of love?
I went to the afterparty at the hard rock but you had to pay $20 to get in because it cost the promoter $2500 to get mr showbiz to show up! crazy.

homz

Anonymous said...

Heyo Secret blog!!!

Sooooooooooo,

What the fuck IS up with Paesano's management?

Fact: I'll only listen to the Peppers if I'm in a van full of sleep deprived sacto fools. Otherwise, I hate 'em.

Dumping the Peppers?

Don't tell secret blog!!

-heckamax

beckler said...

mike c.-you know that first song they played during the little intermission-the one before they played laughy taffy-what was that?

Anonymous said...

i don't know? "main" could it have been 36mafia, the vioce sounded kinda familiar, but ya that trick was sic. i haven't really listend to the bomb since i abandoned my whip, but i did just see hustle & flow-"stomp that trick" i liked it. i would have never guessed it was written/directed by that dorky white dude though. "main" i felt bad for the actress who played the pregnant ho, you know the one they got to sing the hook. she just looked sooooo fucked up.

~DeeJay

Anonymous said...

Secret Blog!!!

The Secret is out!!

Summer is almost here!!!

Love, '
Heckamax

Anonymous said...

yes ladyfingers summers comin' and i'll be raising me last patty's guinnes to it! now how can i get these lawyers to stock the fridge with some good sac treat makin brew?

and now a little secret(probably a dream) but i could be runing the trails in a couple of years! deep dish pies for all my blog dogs.

rootin & tootin~buck homzee

Anonymous said...

OK, not only is there a "fat homzee" foating around trying to ride your fame, but last night we spotted "yuppie homzee" drinking wine on his cell. You got a homzee army out there!


SEEEEEEEEEECRET BLOG DOG!

Anonymous said...

getting homzee its the new hyphe, i'm gonna build my own town like willie nelson and his gi-ter trigger.(sorry they keep showing willie specials on cmt and everybody keeps makin weed jokes) but for seeeeeeeeeecret blog!!! hating g-men...i am no leader of a homzee army, i am just a peace and freedom loving popcorn vendor.

wow, you and me and dupree is finally opening.

~you me dupree and homzee

Anonymous said...

I had some star trippin' weed at Nar practice this weekend that made me crazy zoned but unable to sleep so you got a hecka-homzee Moondogs etc comp all ready to go. At least I think I made it.

secret blog DOG!

Anonymous said...

chirpa chirpa cheep cheep
your comps not middle of the road
its chirpa chirpa sweet sweet!!!
whats the deal with this band? charles told me once but i forgot, they wrote a song about sac but their from portugal or brazil or something?

thanx so much seeeeeeecretrrrr blog dddddoooooogggggg!!!

homz

Anonymous said...

i'm #169 how about that

Anonymous said...

no shit i'm #170, thats pretty high

Anonymous said...

dudes daisy spot killed it at the crest tonight. they need to play more concert halls, they sounded fucking amazing and giant and mike and tati's harmonizing was the best i've ever heard it! people did say that mike went alittle over the top with his guitar but shit its mike and they projected them on our movie screen so when dude was playing you could see his fingers and shit. he did some new moves too like using tati's mike stand as a slide and at the end he threw his guitar hella high in the air and just barely caught it. SIC

i know the secret blog is wandering who won the award for best punk band...well it was the secretions of course.

homz

Anonymous said...

I know I'm a little late on this but I think what that Paesano's employee did was wrong. JK DOGS!! It's SEEEEEEECRET BLOG DOG!! hanging out with Jimmy Page of course. And Kiedis.

-sbd

Anonymous said...

were u hangin with nelly and nessie too? whats wrong with loch ness's management? can anyone take a better picture than me, dogs?

~colonel robert wilson

Anonymous said...

,%%%%%%%%,
,%%/\%%%%/\%%
,%%%\c "" J/%%% ,,,,
% %%%%/ 6 6\%%% ||||
%% %%%% _ |%%% @@@@@@
%% %%%%(__Y__)%%' {~****~}
// ;%%%%'\-/%%%' @@@@@@@@@@@@@
(( / %%%%%%%%%' {~* HAPPY *~}
\\ .' | { BIRTHDAY }
\\ / \ | | {~~*~~*~~*~~}
\ ) | | @@@@@@@@@@@@@
\ /__ | |_ _) (_
(_________))) ))) /_____\



i hope you had a great birthday becky!!!

love~homz

Anonymous said...

well that was...a lion standing next to a birthday cake when i left the comment...

Anonymous said...

fffffff
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Anonymous said...

...........,%%%%%%%,...............
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........,%%%\c"."J/%%%......,,,,...
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.%%,....%%%%..._..|%%%.....@@@@@@..
..%%.....%%%(__Y__)%%'.....{~**~}..
..//......%%%%\-/%%%'....@@@@@@@@@@
.((......./.%%%%%%%'.....{.~HAPPY~}
..\\.....;.........|.....{BIRTHDAY}
...\\..,/....\...|.|.....{~*~*~*~*}
....\\/.......)..|.|.....@@@@@@@@@@
.....\......./__.|.|__....._)..(_..
.....(__________))).))).../______\.
......................................................................

Anonymous said...

fffr my nwext twik
i wull draw ahhhh....
twwwisssteddddd bbbblloooogg
ddooooooooooooooooooogg!!

beckler said...

that looks rad! see you at the narty! get on the ground and roll around!

Anonymous said...

A

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P

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P

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T

Anonymous said...

U

Anonymous said...

R

Anonymous said...

K

Anonymous said...

E

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Y

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Y

Anonymous said...

!

Anonymous said...

B

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G

Anonymous said...

DOGS!!!

Anonymous said...

How many secret blogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Anonymous said...

that would call for me to question my reality that their is only the one true SECRET BLOG dog...and it would become a big vexation to believe in the existence of more than the one.

i'm becoming bellicose just thinking about this joke, but because you asked how many?

next i suppose you'll be yaking about the triplets of bellevile or some other trinity maybe even from trinidad or some far off place.

Anonymous said...

pesto mashed potatos thats what i like dogs!!!

~pretty ricci

Anonymous said...

has anyone heard the new twista song with pharell? peeps are freakin over it...

Anonymous said...

bring me the head of alfredo sauce garcia...

Anonymous said...

bring me that and a "baked" birthday cake for the o.g. secret blog dog.

Anonymous said...

This secret blog has lasted longer than any of my relationships.

Anonymous said...

wha happened to the secret blog? 2011! last lipstick 2011