Monday, April 18, 2005

Heckasac exerts herself and complains about it.

I feel lame that I missed the Tower vs. Crest arm wrestling party. It sounds like everyone had fun. I felt that I had to choose between that and my planned early morning trip to Denio's, so Denio's won out. The Crest brought in a ringer, so their title is in doubt. He is currently hired on at the Crest but has yet to work a shift. Is he truly an employee? I'm waiting for the decision of the Sacramento Arm Wrestling Ethics Committee and I'll accept whatever they decide.

Highlights from secondhand sources: the giant, buff ringer taking off his shirt and making his pecs dance to the beat of Chris Baxter's drum

An upset in which the Homzee demolished Heckamax. Some think Heckamax was slow on the draw in this match.

A "mirror match" in which Vann wrestled his doppelganger.

Carlos losing the womens title to Carrie. Better luck next time, Carlos. Keep working out.

Do you want to hear about my weekend? No? Too bad.

Friday night: got ditched by the Homzee due to a supposed "missed connection". Maybe I should post on craigslist to find out what happened. Stayed in and watched "Don't Look Now" which I recommend mostly for the excellent and gratuitous sex scene between one elegant lady, Ms. Julie Christie, and one mustachioed man with a surprisingly cute butt, Mr. Donald Sutherland.

Saturday: Excellent breakfast at Melange. I love this place so much. It's the best. The weather was, how do you say? Perfect, so I felt ambitious and decided that it was time to try to ride to the Sunflower in Fair Oaks. Charles was in so we embarked on our trip, starting around 2:00 and getting on the bike trail in Old Sac. I am not exactly in shape so this type of excursion provoked some mild anxiety from the start (just getting up in the morning causes me anxiety, so this is no surprise). The anxiety swelled as I noted that we had been riding for about an hour before we passed Sac State. The actual time was in dispute throughout the bike ride as neither of us had brought watches. I found various things to freak out about including: bugs flying in my eyes and hair at least 10 times, the possibility that the hours of riding would wear a hole in the seat of my new pants, that I would get sunburned, etc., etc. Despite all these worries, the scenery was amazing. I felt like I was in Napa. The bike trail was packed, mostly with spandex-clad Serious Bike Riders. They whizzed by us constantly. During the entire bike ride I think the only people Charles and I passed were a little kid and his dad and a chubby guy in a warm-up suit and gold chains who looked to be about 5 minutes away from a massive coronary. We rode forever and a day, with me threatening to back out and turn around every five minutes and fretting that we were only half-way every time I looked a map on the side of the trail. This wasn't helped by the fact that every single "you are here" dot was scratched out so we could never quite tell where we were. About three hours after we started, we exited over the Fair Oaks bridge and started walking up the hills into old Fair Oaks. Charles was able to ignore my constant whining (he has had years of experience at this) and seemed to still be enjoying himself although I was threatening to collapse if the Sunflower didn't appear immediately. Within a few minutes we came upon Fair Oaks Blvd and we were within a block or two. Nothing has ever seemed so delicious as the Sunflower was that day. This place is always great, but as Charles said that Joel's dad says "hunger is the best sauce". And all this time I thought hollandaise was the best sauce. I got a (heh heh) nutburger and the vegan potato salad. The nutburger was delicious as always (don't get fooled into ordering the large (heh heh) nutburger because it's pretty much the same except it's on a pita that falls apart), the potato salad was just OK. I wouldn't really recommend it. Charles got a millet burger and it was really good. The patty melt is also excellent.

At this point it was after six. We tried to call Charles mom to pick us up but she wasn't home. Charles was confident that if we rode down Sunrise into Rancho we would come to a light rail stop fairly soon. I was still freaking out and didn't believe him (I'm coming off really well here), but he turned out to be right and within half an hour we were comfortably seated on light rail and being whisked towards home. It was quite a contrast to go from the idyllic nature of the bike trail and being thrust onto riding on one of the most hellish suburban streets in all of Sac., with minimal bike lanes and people zooming by at highway speeds.

Charles and I then went and got our Queens of the Stone Age tix (better get yours, I bet it will sell out) and some brews and watched some Curb Your Enthusiasm, including the one where Larry has a pubic hair caught in his throat for the whole episode (Sacramento connection: Jack Gallagher, the Crystal milk guy plays the doctor who tells Larry to let the hair work itself out).

Later I headed to Old I. to watch Baby Grand. All of Erik's fans were in the house to watch his debut as keyboard player and back-up vocalist. They sounded great. The second to last song (not sure of the name) was really pretty and catchy.

Do you want to hear about my Denio's trip? I bet you can't wait. Tune in later.


Anonymous said...

I live close to SF Drive in, and I recommend the tostada + nutty taco meat for about 5.69; it is the biggest and best meal there. You rode about 40 miles RT, which I personally think is INSANE, but great. However, you would have to stop off at a Mc'ds just to get the extra calories since you'd be down to negative 1000 by the time you were back in Sac. Alice and Jana did that trek a year or so ago and I'm sure they were hurting afterwards. I drove the .25 miles to meet 'em, and was not panting while I chowed.

beckler said...

Well, we actually took the light rail back home, so it was more like 20 miles, but still the farthest I've ever ridden.

Anonymous said...

Hello, Jana here. Long time reader, first time commenter. So anyways, the bike ride to Sunflower is one of my favorites of all time. I went just last month. The best part is all the animals. Last time I saw wild turkeys, a small coyote, jack rabbits, lizards, my favorite, the quail, and three mangy looking deer.
And then, on top of all that I got to eat a patty melt!
As you can tell, I am quite passionate about this. If ANYone wants to go ANYtime, just let me know.

Alice said...

the bike ride from downtown to the sunflower is beautiful. i'm a big fan of their food and i particularly like the fair oaks bridge. it's a great place to hang out at night with your friends and some beer if anyone ever wants to join me up there. back to the bikeride: everything was a-okay until we stopped to get a beer in midtown at the end of the day's journey. after sitting down for an hour or so, the ride home became nearly impossible. it hurt to sit, it hurt to stand and when i got back to my house i pretty much passed out. if you haven't done the ride before, bring pain medecine with you and swallow a bunch of it after lunch.

beckler said...

We saw a pheasant and quail.

Anonymous said...

I feel I must defend my honor in the armwrestling department.

First of all, Bigshow is STRONG. Also, he had a bang-up entrance--- being carried in by Sullivan, barely holding on to a 40, adjusting his "hat" (a paper bag) and being a superstar. I was rattled.

I had a re-match which I won. I put a little more showmanship into it. Still, Big show is much stronger than I expected.


beckler said...

I know he's strong. We've wrestled plenty of times. He just thought he may have caught you off guard when he flashed you those pearly whites. They can be blinding.

Anonymous said...

-Heckamax of -HeckaMaxwell Clan
descendant of Maccus the son of Undweyn, from the House of Gentlemen.
Here ye! Here ye! Here ye!
Thou honor is still intact.
~the entrance~
I was down in the Crest's V.I.Pin. room trying to get my mind right for my introduction into the world of Art-House Armwrastlin when I was taken out of my zone by a chant. Not being one to miss out on a chant I ran up the stairs to discover the crowd was chanting my name!...uh gulp, i was about to turn and run when Sully grabed me and carried me thru the parting throngs to the table where you were waiting(fresh from the battle-zone Distillery) uh double gulp, luckily I had my fortybag to hide in and use incase I began to hyper-ventilate.

Anonymous said...

oh ya... The Big Show aka the Cold Crest Creeper (I'm STRONG)

Also Beckler, I thought Carlos Rocky Balboa'd all his Tower and Crest female challenges to win the ladies belt. It was an epic battle against Carrie but I thought he came back and prevailed.(or was that left handed) Anyways check the wires and give a champ his props.

beckler said...

So Carlos did win? I should print a correction.