Friday, August 26, 2005

Euroslide.com

D.P. has promised to weigh in on the atheist vs. agnostic debate today. He got excited when I told him about it but he missed it because I guess there are some people I know who don't check this blog regularly. Say what?

Press release from Charles:

Hello Dudes!
I am having a sweet yard sale this Saturday, August 27th, at my house
at 8am. What am I selling? Cd's, Records, clothes, broken music
equipment, books, computer gear. You name, I got it!
I live at 2nd Avenue and Freeport Blvd. Freeport is just 19th after it
crosses Broadway. 2nd ave. is two blocks south of Broadway.
Come check it out! I will try have some snacks for the early birds.
Charles

The broken musical equipment sounds especially enticing.

During round 2 of the fair I almost exactly recreated my experience from round 1. We headed straight for the brisket, where I discovered that the key to life and the universe is contained within two words: extra sauce. I rode the gondola past Paul Rodriguez this time and I heard jokes about "caucasian funerals" vs. "mexican funerals". Hilarious. I tried a bite of the deep fried avocado and it of course was pretty nasty. Mmm...hot avocado.

Oh yeah, and I had a million dollar idea. Don't try to steal it because I already patented it and maverick oil billionaire Jay Beaumont is bankrolling it. I started to think about what next year's big fair food would be and within about a minute I came up with....Deep fried s'mores!
Get this-an extra large marshmallow, with a melted chocolate center, covered with a graham cracker crust and deep fried!!!! On a stick!! I can't wait to be totally rich and tell all of you what I REALLY think of you. Also, I will only wear bikinis made out of 100 dollar bills and I will keep a white tiger on a leash.

Sorry to disappoint you, but if you go to euroslide.com it's not a real website. This is an inside fair joke, so if you don't know what I'm talking about you need to get your ass to the fair. Right as the fair was closing we were treated to the sweet Christian rap of three five six. No need to ask these guys where they stand on the issue of atheism vs. agnosticism cuz they are hustling and flowing for sweet baby Jesus. They don't have a website either!! So you can't see the hot pictures of camo shorts, long camo (the bad boy), chubby cargo pants (the gay one), and tall Will Ferrell guy. The best thing about this performance is that we had accidentally separated from Jay and Natalie when they first got to the fair, but as we're watching Three Five Six D.P. got a call from Jay that he could barely hear over the music and I hear him saying "are you playing me something?" and it turns out that Jay had called to play Three Five Six over the phone because they were coincidentally across from us.

Also, and Brew will back me up on this one, I saw the prettiest farm boy ever. He was at least 18, so give me a break on this. Black tshirt, black jodphur-y pants (Brew called them "tights" but I don't care because the key word here is "tight") and big black riding boots. Unbelievable. I went to a high school filled with farm boys and not a one of them looked like that. Most of them wore giant cowboy hats and chewed tobacco on the bus. Anyways, yeah fair!!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did you go to the racetrack for the fireworks?

Anonymous said...

I think breeches boy was the magical prancing pony guy.
Sounds just like him, anyway.

~Lisa Ninja

leon said...

I'm putting my money on "deep fried pizza".

Anonymous said...

Look, that dumbass cyclist that tatooed his face is back in the news. The last couple of lines in this article are the worst/best. This guy must be the biggest idiot:

http://www.sacbee.com/content/news/story/
13473645p-14314414c.html

Connie

beckler said...

Everyone article about him seems like a hoax. This is a hecka sac headline and story:

http://www.sacbee.com/content/news/story/13473642p-14314415c.html

Anonymous said...

Well, deep fried macaroni-and-cheese on a stick remains the best. Although I'm still holding out for deep-fried polish dogs or deep-fried bacon-wrapped scoops of ice cream (on a stick, naturally).

Anonymous said...

They used to have a version of a deep fried polish dog. It was called a "log dog." It was was better than a corn dog and also on a stick.

~Lisa Ninja
log dog lover

Anonymous said...

Ya, hallo dees ees Gunther Herdstadt, I vant to tell you blogos zat amerikahns are zo ztupid zey did not zink to enter ueroslide.eu instead of .com. zis is why ze whole world knows you are worst peole in ze whole world exept for your cowboys and your indians and your "old towns" vich are sehr gut\
- Helmut

Anonymous said...

Beckler-
Since you already totally busted my ass checking out farmboy in front of my boyfriend, I guess I can go ahead and back you up on his good looks. I really hope that he was the prancing pony guy....that would be amazing.

I can't get the sweet 3,5,9 song "Strong enough to live, strong enough to die" out of my head.

Later that night Mike and I went to Simon's where we overheard a group of Republicans name dropping "Schwarz" and having a conversation that went like this:

White Dude 1: I saw a Mexican at lunch the other day.

White Dude 2: Which Mexican was it?

White Dude 1: It was that Mexican Paul Rodriguez, he was sitting next to me at the Rio City Cafe...

Anyways, one of my favorite parts of the fair is the live lynx (I forget his name),raccoon "Duncan", and beaver "Waldo" they have inside an exhibit hall!!!

Brew

Anonymous said...

I think it's time to force-feed those White Dudes some "log dogs..."

katymonster said...

no way. we totally deep fried S'mores on a stick this weekend. who needs the fair for that?

oh, and although it's a shame, the Cheesecake Factory has deep fried macaroni and cheese balls. but, they're missing the stick.