Friday, October 21, 2005

tweakers-enjoy your 25 bucks

I hope the tweakers who stole my front and back tires last night have a great time with the money they got for them. I hope they got a really good deal on crank and that it wasn't cut with too much laxative or whatever. I hope that it led to some really good tooth grinding sessions, maybe so good that a tooth or two falls out. Maybe they will have some really good mumbling and yelling episodes or even make some cool tweaker art. Or maybe the large quantity of crank will just give them the energy to go out and steal lots more bike tires. I think Elton John refers to that as "The Circle of Life". I certainly don't begrudge them the money. I just admire the balls it took to steal them both at eight at night out from under an open window that all of us were sitting next to, talking and laughing and drinking wine. Did the tweaker pause for a minute and listen to our pleasant conversation and wish, just for a fleeting instant, that he wasn't a drug addicted piece of shit who steals things from people? Maybe, I'll never know. If I could ask him one question, it would be "why is it that if I park my bike one single block away that I can even leave it outside overnight (which I've done by accident when I forget it's out there) and you won't touch it? What is it about this block (11th and T) that makes it so attractive for you to instantly steal my tires?"****

So, long story short I probably need a new bike. Last time when just my back tire got stolen the folksy old guy at College Cyclery was pushing pretty hard for me to just get a new bike and made me feel stupid for wanting to fix mine. It would need both tires and a full tune-up and new brakes. I want a bike that's light and fast, not a cruiser, and it has to have a pretty big frame cuz I'm tall. Can anyone help me out? Or where should I buy one? Or, if I do decide to just fix mine cuz I really like it, where should I take it? And I don't want to buy a bike at that place on Franklin cuz I think they buy stolen bikes. I'm gonna look on Craigslist today, too.

In more neighborhood crime news, there are four dudes robbing men on the southside. There have been four robberies in that area and one of the robberies happened wednesday on my block, which I read in the Bee and which is news to me. They've just threatened to kick the guys asses, they don't have any weapons. They jump out of a red sports car. Hopefully, now that it's in the paper these guys will knock it off because randomly robbing people, especially people in my neighborhood and then splitting it four ways could no way have netted them more than like 50 bucks each. So now that they know the cops are onto them I would think they would stop.

****I know this diatribe was harsh and I don't actually think any human being is a piece of shit besides obvious people like George Bush.


Anonymous said...

No sympathy for bike theifs. Fuck those guys. Beckers, I am so sorry your bike was stolen. I say get a new one and make your self feel better. Maybe even one of the theft-resistant models.


darin said...

sorry to hear about your bike. whatever you do, avoid the old guy at college cyclery. he talked me into buying a new wheel once, and it was a cheap-o aluminum piece of junk; i broke two or three spokes a week. when i took it back, the younger guy there seemed annoyed i had been sold a brand new wheel and pointed out the 100-yr old wheels they have hanging around that never broke. then he found a used schwinn wheel for me, which is working fine. anyhow, the point is, "old guy will sell you new junk while lecturing on libertarianism. young guy will actually be helpful."

Anonymous said...

My upstairs fireman has a nouveau cruiser that we are about to ditch in an alley. It probably needs tubes, tires and a chain. It's sitting in my driveway if you want it. I'll even throw it in the truck and take it somewhere if you want. It'll probably be $50 to fix.

G Bomb

Anonymous said...

It's like this.

My driveway is a purveyor of fine bikes. That's where I found my pink one.

Anonymous said...

Will she go back to crusiers? Dude, I say take the free bike!


Anonymous said...

Becky, join the new bike club. Although they are very susceptible to the siren call of the light rail tracks they are totally worth it.
I got it at college the service was a bit bad but the bike was well worth it.
When I was shopping around
for my bike, I found that REI had some nice bikes.


katymonster said...

shit Becky. that's lame.

if you really love your bike now, take it to College Cyclery. Darins right, avoid the old dude. but, really, i haven't seen him there in ages. i've only seen Mike there these days and half wonder if he hasn't taken over the business.

he'll fix it up for you for a good price. and, if you decide to ditch it, they'll probably give you money towards another bike there.

beckler said...

Thanks for the advice, everyone. G-Bomb that's a great offer but I will pass because I really don't want a cruiser. I guess smiller has a bike that needs some work, so I'll look at that, and if I don't love it I may go to college and just shell out a wad of dough to get new tires and get my bike fully tuned up. And if I see Wilford Brimley there I'll kick him in the nuts.