Thursday, October 13, 2005

Aragorn's vestigial tail

Not really feelin' it blog-style today. I saw History of Violence last night. I thought it was great. I managed somehow to look away or squint my eyes during every single super gory part. I don't like super-violent movies (like Sin City), but the violence in this movie comes in quick bursts, not relentlessly throughout the movie. Some performances were fantastic (Viggo, a couple of the smaller supporting parts) and some were pretty crappy (Maria Bello, out of her league as an actress and William Hurt, scenery-chewing with a super affected Philly accent). I love how Cronenburg's movies have this B movie feel that you just don't see anymore. Most movies these days, even piece of shit movies, have this slickness to them, but Cronenburg's stuff always looks like you're watching it late at night on Channel 40 (back when that was the kind of thing you would see late at night in Sac on 40, 31, and 58).

There's a couple of pretty graphic sex scenes (always a plus!) and there's a part where you see Aragorn's ass pretty clearly. I'm not that into him so whatever, but I was distracted by this weird lump that looked like a vestigial tail. So you read it here first, Aragorn has a vestigial tail.

30 comments:

the head said...

still sexy even with a tail.

Anonymous said...

A shrimpy man with a shrimpy tail, sexy? I beg to differ....

brew

Anonymous said...

I must defend the honor of shrimpy men everywhere!

-Connie

Anonymous said...

Is Aragorn shrimpy? If shrimpy means hot, then I agree.

-michele

werenotdeep said...

I'm more interested in finding out if Legolas has a tail, personally.

Anonymous said...

I bet Pippen had a tail after eating all that Lembas bread.

samwize

Anonymous said...

Ok ok ok. I take it back. Viggo is not shrimpy. He's actually 5'11 and the height of the average white American male is 5'10. But that tail shit is still gross!

brew

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the tail sounds gross, but I'll have to see for myself. If it takes a vestigial tail to lead our people strongly into the Time of Man then who am I to judge?

Maybe we'll go to the movies tonight. Providence Place Mall, here we come!

-michele

Anonymous said...

By the way, does anyone else rent 24 on DVD? And if so, is anyone else dorky enough to still be renting them through season 3? Because me and Ben are, and that shit is fucking dark. I'm not even enjoying it anymore, I'm just depressed. I cry and feel sick to my stomach, but then I still have to watch the next one. What ever happened to the light-hearted global terror threats of season one!!???!!!

-michele

Anonymous said...

I really hated that movie at first, but it won me over by the end. I couldn't handle the shitty acting in the beginning. Also, if I never have to look at The Bush of Bello ever again, that's just fine with me. So much cooch.

That whole cheerleader scene, I actually called that before it happened (not difficult). I really want to hurt the person who wrote the dialoge for that film. Is English their first language?

What about tiny Laura Dern, their daughter? Learn to act, shrimpy!

-Ella

Anonymous said...

Willy has all the 24 stuff on dvd. What do you need? We can hook you up.

Get ready for the 4 HOUR season premier in January. Ouch. Gonna have to save up for counselling after watching that.

Kiefer is a weird dude.

Ella

Anonymous said...

tv's a stone trip...i get depressed 75% of the time after watching just about anything...but i doubt that is a surprise to anyone here.

bloopers are still great though. one swing of a wiffle ball bat to dad's groin goes a long way. perhaps 24 should work some of that in?

honestly though, i've only given 24 one try. kiefer's "intensity" made me uncomfortable, then kinda sad because it seemed he was expressing his frustration with being demoted to a fox drama. maybe i have it all wrong though.
mario

Stephen Glass said...

Oh for the days (long before there even was a channel 58) when 31 was pretty much entirely in Spanish and 40 showed things like a whole week of Hope and Crosby "Road" or "Thin Man" movies at 1 in the afternoon, interrupted periodically by a flurry of ads for Carpets Plus.

beckler said...

Ella-
I second you on the Bello's bush thing. I saw her flabby, overly tanned ass in another movie (the cooler, wearing a tiny thong, no less), and I'll be happy if I never see it again. It's not any objection to see a lady's body that looks real (she even has a bunch of gnarly bruises on her legs that they don't put make-up on), I like that, it's just I don't find her to be attractive at all. And the little kid in that movie had obviously bleached hair, which was really creepy.

Anonymous said...

stop this madness dissing viggo,
I am this close to going on a date with him if I move to LA. He is a friend of a friend who wants to set him up and when we are madly in love you will be embaressed you called him shrimpy
and with tail.
-alicia
(nevergonnahappen,butstilldreamin)
kay

Anonymous said...

Hey Alicia,

First, isn't he with Exene?

Second,I just don't understand all this fuss over him...

Check this pic out...

http://www.yola.stopklatka.pl/wywiady/zdjecia/wyw35_0.jpg

Hot or not? I say not. Definitely no Paul Rudd...

brew

Anonymous said...

Nope, about a year ago, Exene sued him for an increase to her child support payments:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0614042viggo1.html

beckler said...

Is that Exene on the left in the picture? JK, but that thing with Exene is old news. They dated back in the 80's. Have you heard the new rumor today about Jude Law and Selma Hayek?

Anonymous said...

Lame ass Law is even worse than Viggo. Way worse. It seems fun to fight him. Sadie, Sienna and the nanny show throw down and then hot blooded Selma can jump in and protect his poser ass!

brew

Anonymous said...

All of sudden I feel like some creepy dude...

brew

Anonymous said...

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Newsweek/Photos/Web_Exclusives/LordRings/LordRingsViggo_VERTICAL.standard.jpg

Brew, in defense of Viggo's hotness I went to look for all the good pictures of him to prove you wrong. But there actually aren't that many. Except where he's Aragorn. I think the mad love for Viggo has a lot to do with Aragorn. At least it's certainly true in my case. I purpsely avoided hidalgo in the height ofmy crush on Viggo, because I knew that it would kill it. But, it sounds like that might happen with history of Violence too, although I'm definitley going to see that one.

I agree with you about Jude Law. I fucking hate that guy!

-michele

Anonymous said...

http://homepage.mac.com/aliciakay/PhotoAlbum1.html
naked photos of viggo, just for you.
i hate jude law too.
xoxo
alicia

Anonymous said...

after posting those photos,
i am a creepy dude... not as creepy as the ones that call me at work though.
-alicia

Anonymous said...

http://attraction-chronicles.blogspot.com/

That is the blog I saw after clicking "next blog." what a wonderful service.

-dg

lisa ninja said...

Michele,
I have to agree with you. Aragorn is hot, Viggo...not so much. The same holds true for Legolas and Wolverine. Orlando and Hugh are pretty gross until they get into hair and makeup.

werenotdeep said...

I hear a lot of people say the same about Orlando Bloom, Lisa, but I just can't agree. He's hot pretty much all the time, at least to me.

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juniorquenchfan2314 said...

wallace and grommit! the were-rabbit movie is great. saw it last night. the claymation's a little too perfect-looking, in contrast to their lower-budget days, but it's a great ride. the sight of the bunny-vac would melt even the chilliest soul.

beckler said...

hey junior quench-
thanks for the tip but i don't watch kid's movies. any movie i watch must contain sex, swearing, and drug references, preferably all at once, such as in a scene where the characters do coke, have sex and talk dirty to each other-like one of kate moss' home movies!

lisa, you're totally right about wolverine. hot as wolverine, but a bit musical theater-y as hugh jackman. he should just dress as wolverine all the time.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Lisa...I agree too, that Jackman isn't as hot as Wolverine (soooo hot! He's so tormented and confused!). Besides, Jackman is Australian and Wolverine is American, and we all know that Aussies can't be that hot. Maybe they look okay, but then you hear them talk....

-michele