Wednesday, October 05, 2005

blog envy

Man, I am suffering from some serious blog envy. The Barnseyard has been hoppin' since I left. Dan's a prolific poster and his comments are picking up. Some of you may have missed this but Heckamax can no longer comment in this space because I use too many dirty words and phrases like "cuntswozzler" and "hot jets of ropey cum" (not a Kate Bush lyric, but it could be). I was dismayed to find out while reading the Barnesyard that my plants have been talking shit about me behind my back, but I'm happy to have something good to read. I predict he'll win best blog next year, especially since most of you find everything I say too dreadfully dull to comment on. If the exciting topics don't get you, I'm sure the pointless guilting will make you want to stop reading. But guilt is all I know folks. What am I, chopped liver? Ooohh..Armeniac you should start a blog so that we can be the all-blogging household that rules Sac. By the way, I'd love some more details of the trip to Armenia (online, I prefer it to talking face to face these days). So the racks were poppin'? Wish I could say the same for Portugal. Any country where I'm the hottest bird on the beach had better import some comely ladies from Sweden and introduce them into the gene pool, STAT. No offense to any Portuguese readers, I think the people from the Azores got most of the good looks.


Anonymous said...

These restaurants are donating profits to Red Cross if you eat there tonight

DB said...

No offense here, my grandfather was from the Azores.

So now DP gets a blog, too? Great, more sharks in the tank.

Don't worry about me, Becky, I've nearly run out of words by now. Plus, I'm actually considering a format change from movie talk to home and gardening tips. You know, helpful hints, crafts, old family recipes, that sort of thing.

But seriously, thanks for the link. If I knew how, I would totally link you back, dog. But I don't.

Anonymous said...

The Barnesyard is all well and good, but your choice of serif instead of sans serif makes your blog the more readable of the two in an eye-wise way.


Uneasy Rhetoric said...

What, you mean those words aren't worksafe? Uh oh.

Anonymous said...


You are just trying to be nice. Having been to the Azores, there are slightly more good looking ladies than on the mainland, but not many! I did see a lot of ladies with beards and/or mustaches. Hey, I've got a beard, I try to keep it under control, but the ladies of the old country just don't give a fuck. The husbands of these hirsute hotties are invariably clean shaven. Sad.
Just use the razor, Maria de Jesus, please!

The Azoreans are of a different genetic stock than the mainlanders, ie: Northern Portuguese, Flemish, French from Brittany and the occasional sick pirate who was left behind by his mates, no joke.

Also because the Azores are so isolated, they practiced a LOT of inbreeding. My Great Grandparents were cousins, for instance. And while you other Azoreans might be lauging right now about my beard and inbred ancestors, guess what? you've got 'em too! ha ha ha!

Dirty Pirate Portuguese Cousin Lovers, all of y'all.


beckler said...

thanks for clearing that up, ella. are you going to the l.a. bananas show this weekend?

DB said...

Look, I may be dirty, I may be a pirate, I may be Portuguese, and I may be a cousin lover, but I am not...wait, what else was there?