Thursday, December 30, 2004

Happy Noyer!

Yo, this is Miller here. I've had enough of this 'my blog's on holiday' crap. I need some shit to read! Unfortunately, I really have nothing in mind to say but still, you're reading this right now & it's better than that 'Gag Me' post that's been festering at the top since, like, Thanksgiving. I've stooped to reading other cities' Craig's List's (Sac's is THE worst) to get some entertainment. There's some argument on the NYC list about a photo of people in Sri Lanka helping with the tsunami cleanup. This one kid in the photo is wearing a Bin-Laden t-shirt - so of course there's a bunch of people saying we shouldn't send any aid now. Is it just me or is a Bin-Laden shirt kinda funny? Especially because it looks like it may be one of those religious style photos that they doctor with that somewhat holy hue so it kinda looks like a painting. I mean, shit, I went to Brazil right after 9/11 & I saw maybe 5 Bin-Laden shirts on people who were either wasted or, like, 10 years old. They just hate Bush & like that someone made him look like a stooge. I'm pretty sure they're not looking to live under some extremist Muslim rule. So yeah, I started thinking "what if I were to buy one of these shirts & try to get it back to the U.S.?". Would customs fuck with me? Or what if I got it home & wore it to Denio's or something. How long would I last? Even better, what if I were to make bootleg Bin-Laden shirts & sell them at Denio's?! Of course, something would have to be spelled wrong on it. "Ben-Ladin Is My Homeboy". Or maybe a bad fake-Simpsons style drawing - "Osama Bart Laden" on a surfboard saying "Get Out Of The Way Man!". Or maybe Bin-Laden pissing on Calvin? No, wait, pissing on a Jesus fish. OBL, drawn Simpsons style, pissing on a Jesus fish is going to make me rich! Now for some reason referring to him as OBL is making me laugh. What up OBL?!
Shit, what else? I'm trying to get a gig as a standup comedian so I was trying to think up some New Years jokes. Man, I can't think of one! I've spent half the morning trying to make some pun on Baby New Year or Happy New Year but I got nothin'. Well, I work with this dude named Ed Noyer & I thought of saying "Happy No-yer" to him - but that's not a joke you can just bust out at Laughs Unlimited open mic. I'd have to be all "OK everyone, I work with this guy....".
Oh wait, here's a good one - when you leave work today, loudly proclaim "See you next year!" Watch their jaws drop & then, suddenly, they get it & they're all "you da man!". Get's 'em every year. Little known fact: I made that joke up years ago & now it's everywhere. I ain't mad though.
Here's some I just thought up:
What did OBL say to Baby New Year?
"Get out of the way Man!"
Who are Baby New Year's parents?
Babymomma & Babydaddy New Year
That's all you get - don't steal them! I was gonna come up with some stupid Adam & Eve joke like: Why didn't Adam go out on New Years? Cuz he was chillin' with New Years Eve - but I deemed it too stupid. Ask any comedian - you GOT to have standards.
See you next year!!!!

Friday, December 17, 2004

Gag me!

Check out the link Erik posted about the proposed CADA building richy lofts:

I quote:

For loft-owners, home is a creative urban sanctuary—a personal realm of peace with easy access to the urban energy just outside their door. It's a space that offers the ultimate in design freedom while still providing all the comforts of home. Lofts are exciting and inviting, and are as individualistic as the people who own them.

Barf!! These same statements would not be true if we were talking about apartments. Only "lofts". I haven't noticed a lot of "urban energy" in my neighborhood, unless by that you mean "old people obsessively raking and re-raking leaves". I often wonder where they are getting the energy to creat these giant leaf piles that completely block all parking spaces in the street. I guess they must be tapping into the urban loft energy of the R street corridor! These people are giving lofting a bad name!


Originally uploaded by becklerg.

Separated at birth?

woodhouse (2)
Originally uploaded by becklerg.

If anyone doubts the resemblance, here is a comparison shot, courtesy of helpful reader Dr. Keat. Unfortunately, I can't upload them side-by-side cuz I don't have photoshop.

See ya next year!!

Well, I survived the work party and it wasn't too bad. I will probably not be blogging for a while because I get the next two weeks off (yay academia!). See you January 3rd!!

Thursday, December 16, 2004

mandatory fun

My hits have reached an all-time high today. I can tell you-all are slacking at work in advance of the holidays just like me. Dear G-d the mandatory work fun is going on as we speak. I keep sneaking out to go kill time in the bathroom and check my email. They will start with the dirty jokes soon. Pray for me.

p.s.-this sierra nevada celebration pale ale is really good, though

Now that's a beard!

Originally uploaded by becklerg.

I am intrigued by this Cassidys show that is written up in the SN&R:
I like country-ish rock and it would be interesting to see a show at Mother India, but I am loathe to give any support to a band named "Ghetto Moments". That is the worst name for a band, hands down, ever in the history of rock. And I do remember that there was a local band called Operation Milksnatch when I make that statement. That article where they explained that everyone has "ghetto moments" such as when they noticed a crack in their minivan window made me nauseous. Anyway, good luck to the Cassidy's and maybe I will see them soon. That reminds me, I heard someone say "I vomited in my mouth a little" again last night and I must reiterate that I wish this phrase would go away.

That's really sad about Gary Webb taking his own life. It seems like his career was on a downward spiral ever since he wrote about the CIA/contra/crack connection. I don't really know a lot about that story, but my impression was that most of his allegations were not discredited but that the San Jose Mercury News found a way to railroad him out of the job. Maybe I should do some research about this. I should buy that book about it that Alexander Cockburn wrote. I saw Cockburn speak at Time Tested quite a few years ago and I remember being impressed when he talked about it, but of course I can't remember the content of his talk (thanks, long-term memory).

Heather clued me into that Bee article about the resoration of the Globe Mill in Alkali Flats. This could be a good thing. That's a very picturesque building and I would hate to see it torn down. I wonder if that factory around S and 11th or so (I can't remember the exact cross streets, thanks spatial memory) is next. You know, the one with the water tanks or whatever that look like muppet eyes on the top. That would make cool apartments.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Celebrity look-alike

Originally uploaded by becklerg.

Is it just me or does singer/sonwriter Rufus Wainright bear an uncanny resemblance to a certain legendary local music producer? I looked for picture of said producer for a side-by-side comparison, but no such luck.


Sorry, I don't feel like posting today. I was just gonna post a review of dollar hand roll night at Ricksha but it can be summed up as "just barely worth a dollar, or maybe 75 cents". Nothing too exciting there. Maybe I'll have something better tomorrow.

he wuz robbed

Here's a link for the bored:
Rob always writes entertaining stories about his Halloween costumes, and this one is great. I can't believe the bottle of tequila and the margarita won the contest!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004


I overheard a snippet of dialogue at Naked Lounge this morning. This convo was taking place between three fifty-ish possible state workers (nothing wrong with state workers, just a guess)

Woman: Well if someone tells him, then he's been told
Man 1: Then he hasn't been told.
Man 2: I can't imagine Harry telling him, can you?
All: laughter

Maybe everybody else has already read that SN&R article with Commandant Petrovich about how he painted over that mural on Profound Sound, but I just read it yesterday and I was blown away. He is so arrogant. I was never a fan of that mural and I'm not too worked up over the whole issue, but what bugs me is his tone. His first quote when he is informed that some lawyers think the muralist might have a legal grievance is "tell them to bring it". Oooh. So tough. Is this land development or ultimate fighting championship? His second quote is, "I do the right things in this town, not the wrong things.". Really? How about your planned Rite Aid on S and 21st? In my opinion, as a downtown resident, this will be a decidedly Wrong Thing. That is a perfectly nice residential corner with no ugly businesses in sight. If I need to go to a pharmacy, there is the Wallgreens on Broadway, the Rite Aid on Alhambra, the pharmacy inside the new Safeway which is a 4 whole blocks away, the Wallrite or whatever the fuck right by the Beat, and, finally if I choose to patronize a local business rather than a megacorp, there is a cute little pharmacy right around the corner from my house. How many fucking pharmacies can open within a ten-block radius? And then as far as boasting about your wonderful addition to the public art sphere, your stupid post-modern water tower and big shiny horse are nothing to brag about. Do you realize that when you boast about the size and cost of these "artworks" you are being a cliche of a vulgar rich dude? Why don't you just put on a powdered wig and tell the muralist to eat some cake? Man that last sentence is so dumb but you know what I mean.

Mike and I ate at a homey little place last night, you may have heard of it, it's called the Spaghetti Factory. Now I normally prefer to eat at places without the words "factory" or "shack" or "craphole" in the name, but my hunger overrode these qualms. As we entered, we were led to sit inside a train car, which seemed really funny to me just then, probably due to the aforementioned extreme hunger. If you haven't been to this Factory of Fettucine and Fun, let me describe the ambiance to you. It is the epitome of understated elegance. At first, the eye is drawn in many different directions, so I just let myself gaze at will as I soaked in the bordello-like interior. I ordered a glass of cab sauv. I wanted more wine, but I was afraid the carafe of house chianti would taste like battery acid, so I stuck with one glass. All the meals come with an iceberg salad and the creamy basil dressing is pretty good. I got the spinach and cheese ravioli. Mike got the spaghetti with phallic sausage. His sausage was great. And so big! My ravioli was mushy and not so good. The problem with going to places like this to save money is that you somehow always end up spending the same amount of money that you would spend for a good meal. For instance, with tip my share was about 16 or 17 bucks. Now, maybe at somewhere better I may not have been able to afford a glass of wine, but then again, I may have.

Overheard convo between two cops as we left:
Cop 1: You remember, it was that 5150 where we broke the door down.
Cop 2: Yeah
Me to Mike (excitedly):They're talking real cop talk!

Monday, December 13, 2004

pretty lights

There's a thing in the Bee today about this semi-wingnut who crafted a 48 foot soldier out of xmas lights:
I emailed the reporter to ask how to get there and she replied that the directions were in the story along with the name of the neighborhood. I checked again. Uh, kinda. I may try to find it. The story mentions he's done a Jesus in lights in the past. He should have had Jesus and the soldier high fiving. That would have portrayed the true spirit of xmas. I cruised the fab 40's xmas displays last night and all I can say is yawn. Enough with the white icicle lights already! It is the civic duty of rich people to put together good xmas displays for us working folk. So put down your issue of Martha Stewart's Living, you know, the one that convinced you that white lights were "classy" instead of boring, and order the servants out to Target to buy some multicolored strings, preferable with variable racing and twinkling features. Take your cue from that non-mansion at the end of T street by the freeway overpass that has trains, a snow man that tips his hat, etc. This is what I expect from you richies, and you wouldn't want the poor people getting restless, would you? Use your giant tax cuts to hypnotize us with pretty lights, or else.

Not to just link a blog that links me, but this blog seems pretty interesting: He quotes Erik's summary of the planning meeting, and even critiques it a bit. I haven't had time to check out all the content, but he has lots of local restaurant reviews.

Congrats to Out Hud, who got a really good review for their new single on pitchfork. Too bad it doesn't come out until March! What is taking so long? How long must we wait?

Weekend wrap-up

I'd like to retract my previous statement about my hair looking like my head had been caught in farm equipment. I've gotten nothing but compliments about it so far. I felt guilty about even writing this because my sister cuts my hair and she always does a great job. Sometimes when you have long hair it can be like a security blanket and it's weird when that's gone.

But enough about the hair already! Let's talk about second saturday. Cheesy, yes, but actually kind of cool. Even on a foggy, cold saturday night it still brought people out in droves downtown. Mike DJed at this (I can't think of an adjective besides cool or awesome, my vocabulary is stunted from living in Cali) um...intriguing furniture store at 12th and J called Time Bandits. It specializes in vintage furniture, 60's era mostly. The prices are pretty reasonable for how pristine the stuff is. For instance, you could pick up a stylish coffee table in the 50-75 dollar range. They have some amazing couches, which run a lot pricier, which makes sense because they are spotless and some of them are 40-50 years old. This store is co-owned by a guy I went to Sac State with and he's very nice and the little store dog is adorable. So, check this place out.

I went to the sellout buyout and it was OK. Not as much good stuff as I anticipated. A lot of, "I'll take stained old slips and sew two of them together and charge twenty bucks and now I'm a fashion designer" kind of stuff. I bought a T-shirt from Troy Mighty because I liked the fish design on the front, but the shirt isn't very flattering so I'll probably never rock it. Mike was very taken with a painting of a fat green bud in the back art area, but was unable to locate the artist to inquire about the price of this masterpiece.

Later that night, we drunkenly pedaled over to Red Square to catch the Feeling. That should be their slogan, Catch the Feeling! I thought they sounded really good and I liked their new songs (well, new to me, maybe not new). I bought some coffee at Red Square and proceeded to make myself an Irish coffee and get to the babbling stage of drunkeness (sorry Mario). Or maybe I wasn't so bad, I just feel dumb when I'm drunk and I talk to sober people. Another drunken bike ride in the fog on a bike with no bike light or helmet or reflector thingy (I do shit like this and then spend nights worrying about cancer!), and the night ended up at club Vince, where things degenerated into possibly the dumbest argument of all time "Beach Boys vs. Beatles". I mean really, we can all agree Beach Boys, right? That song about holding your hand is cute and all, and Rocky Raccoon is a cool little story, but those things are no match for Pet Sounds.

For those of you that are plant oriented, I'd like to recommend a trip to the Gifted Gardener on J st. They have some really pretty, cheap pots in the back which I've missed when I've been there before because the front is filled with a lot of tacky shit like harlequin masks and big ceramic frogs. They are sooo nice there, too, and will give you advice on taking care of your plants.

I'd also like to recommend that you don't try to pet the Spuds Mackenzie looking dog on T st. between 16th and 17th cuz the little motherfucker will try to bite your hand causing me to challenge him to come out from behind his fence and try that. You can bet that he didn't take me up on that challenge. Coward!!

Friday, December 10, 2004

Hair disaster

The scandal about the rehired pervy deputy continues to brew. Apparently, these issues are voted on by a five-member civilian panel of business-leader types, which is weird. On the day all these deputies were re-hired, two of the panel weren't even there to vote. It turns out that one of the other guys has close associations with the law firm that was representing all five of the deputies. So what if he talked the other two into voting a certain way? This doesn't seem out of the question to me. It's easier to persuade two people than four. Anyway, I hope they do fire the stalker guy. What he did showed insanely poor judgement.

So I'm sporting a new look. If you see me and you think, "my G-d, what happened to Becky? Did she get her hair caught in a threshing machine? I wonder if it ripped off her ears or if they're under there?", relax, these are called "layers" and I now have approximately 4000 of them. In fact, every piece of hair on my head now rests on it's own separate layer. I'm lucky you can't layer eyebrows. But I'm not bitter or anything. I'll have to start a countdown for the three to four months it will take until I don't look like shit. This is day one. My hair is now cute, flippy, and bouncy. In other words, the complete opposite of my personality.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

stalkers with a badge

Is it nice outside or what? This weather can almost make me forget that I am stuck in putrid Davis rather than frolicking about the tree-lined streets of Sac. Here in Davis, the co-eds have been encouraged by the few rays of sun to shed 93% of their clothing and are gamboling around campus practically nude as they are wont to do.

The big sellout/buyout thing is saturday at Lotus salon, and although it's already gotten plenty of press, I think Olivia (she owns Ollipom) is really nice and I hope she makes wads of money off of it so that she can start buying clothes and expand her inventory. Maybe she doesn't even want to do that but I wish she would because it would be fun to buy clothes to try to sell to her. I always see wrong size stuff at thrift stores that might sell at her store. Here are the details: Hmm...I was checking out her clothing line on the web page and was a little bummed to see that size 8 is her biggest size. I hate when people do that! Of course, I'm not rocking a lot of tube dresses lately so I guess I can't get too mad.

A tip to Sac residents (especially ladies): remember when you call the cops to lock up your valuables and try to put on sweats and not look too cute. Why? Cuz they might steal some of your stuff or break into your house to try to hit in you. Read about it here:
Lame! First the sexxeee firefighters and now the stalking sherriffs. Of course, some of the theft charges could have been trumped-up (the pocketing ammo thing doesn't seem too major to me), but I can't believe they reinstated the stalker guy. How is that trespassing? That sounds more like breaking and entering to me. He seems to be a little bit psycho if he thought that would work. I'm perfectly fine with cops being held to different standards than those for other civil servants, because the people at the DMV can't pull me over, demand to come in my house, or legally carry a gun on the job.

Guest post on city planning

Has anyone seen the new News and Review? It has a big story about local bloggers but they are obviously missed the real story cuz there was ne'ery a mention of Heckasac to be seen. The blogs that got mentioned are like the Low Flying Owls of blogs, and I'm like the Knock Knock of blogs. Underrated!

This is an account of the recent city planning meeting about the J, K, and L street corridor. It was written by Erik DeKok who is a pro planner, so he's not just lofting when he talks about this stuff:

I would say that the turnout was quite good, probably at least 60 or 75 people. The same facilitator who did the October charrette/workshop was there to make the big presentation, but the Mayor of course started things off. She mentioned how she was “not surprised”at the ideas that came out of the October workshop. She also polled the room to see if anyone supportedthe rumored Wal-Mart proposal for Downtown Plaza. Everyone giggled, not a hand was raised, and she said something like “I thought so.”

But anyway, the facilitator did a pretty good job of summing up the results. A slick 14 –page color summary of ideas and graphics from the October workshop was distributed. People want lots more housing downtown,but not necessarily on K Street. For some reason,more of the groups chose J Street for new housing than K. But a lot of people also felt strongly about mixed-use on K Street, which I interpret (although maybe not necessarily the consultants) to mean housing or offices above ground-floor retail in the traditional urban format. A very strong desire was voiced for preservation and adaptive reuse of as many historic buildings as possible, and that also is not a big surprise. On the commercial / “catalyst projects”end of things, there was a strong desire for entertainment and restaurants as well on K Street, but housing was still voiced as the strongest use for the“catalyst” sites that had been predetermined by the City and/or consultant prior to the workshop. These are just some of the “16 clear areas of general consensus” that were enumerated out of the groupthink.

The consultant boiled the “16 clear areas” into “3 general directions” for the City to consider for revitalization of the JKL Corridors:

1.) J Street Housing, focusing on residential catalyst project will focusing retail and other infill on K Street, and no “catalyst projects” on K;

2.) Residential/Mixed-Use Catalyst on K Street,focusing mixed-use (retail & housing) catalysts on K,with other possible housing catalyst projects on J;

3.) Destination Nodes on K Street, which would involve“major destination-oriented catalyst projects” on K,“complemented by housing on J”.

After the presentation, there was about 45 minutes of question & answer time. There was, of course, concern voiced about what to do about affordable housing &displacement of SRO & homeless folks. And as was voiced strongly in the October workshop, a strong insistence about moving the Greyhound depot to the planned Intermodal Transportation Facility at theAmtrak depot, and doing it right away. Many felt that some of the transportation ideas were misinterpreted. Some felt that maybe putting some auto traffic back onK wouldn’t be so bad, and that the general scheme ofc onverting some north-south streets from one-way back to two-way needed to be analyzed in the context of the greater downtown traffic patterns, as was done for the broader Central City Two-Way Conversion project.

A few interesting developers showed up. Moe Mohanna,the guy who owns a ton of property along K between 7th and 9th, was at both the workshop and the follow-upmeeting, although he didn't say anything publicly. A developer who is proposing another high-rise condo type building in the 30-40 story range started a major rant and rave about how the real problem was not vision or what people wanted, but the “red tape” that people needed to “help us” get rid of to get more housing downtown. Anna and I chuckled, it was so blatant, and there was a lot of murmuring in the room at that point. Similarly, another investor/developer type (I believe from Rubicon Partners?) basically stated that land use and visioning were o.k., but that the City really needs to just focus on economic development and let the market do its thing downtown.Finally, a vocal woman spoke up and basically stated that downtown needs to have unique urban development that doesn’t necessarily compete with suburban development by providing the same chain or destination retailers, but allows for organic,appropriately-scaled urban streets. That brought out a round of applause.

It will be interesting to see which of the “3 generaldirections” the Mayor / Economic Development staff chooses. I would expect they choose #3, just because they have a fixation with bigger projects and keeping those investors & developers with deep pockets happy.My gut feeling is that these so-called “catalyst projects” are masquerading “urban renewal” projects that will involve some eminent domain and “land assembly”, but hopefully that can be avoided. I like#2 better. I think the bottom line is they really need to listen to the strongest voice coming out of these meetings, and that is that Downtown needs to be a place that is primarily for the people who want a truly urban, non-homogenized central business district. Big box retail, shopper-tainment, and other suburban-format uses are probably best left to cling to the strip malls and power centers popping up outside the grid. Give us an urban food market at the Greyhound site, a la the Ferry Building in San Francisco, or an urban arts center or culinaryinstitute at 10th & K. But please… leave CineArts,Pottery Barn, and all the over-priced /under-performing chain restaurants out of downtown.

Finally, I didn’t get a sense of exactly what will happen next. I don’t think they really have a “plan of action” that is coherent and integrated with everything else happening Downtown. I’m a little skeptical about this whole thing, because the City’s Planning staff were basically not involved in conceptualizing or shaping these workshops (yes, I’m biased, I do work for that Department!). There is an officially-adopted Central City Community Plan that,along with the City’s General Plan and the Zoning Ordinance, sets the City’s vision and policy framework for land use & development. Changes need to be made to these plans, no one would argue, but the question is how. The Mayor and Economic Development staff would be wise to feed the results of these workshops into the General Plan revision process, which the City’s Long Range Planning team is beginning next year, and they should include a Central City CommunityPlan revision in this process as well. Maybe a separate Downtown Maser Plan is needed (this was one of the “16 general areas of consensus”), but it should be integrated and have a relationship to plans for the rest of the Central City.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

More blogs for you

Apparently my boss came in this morning, said she was "stressed" and went home to sit by the fire and go christmas shopping. This attitude has not inspired me to work like a busy little beaver this morning, needless to say. So, I have plenty of time to blog, but not much to bl0g about.

First, I'd like to wish a bon voyage to Miller and Leon who are traveling abroad to see a show by the Television Personalities. I hope it's good, and that he doesn't just sing the Eminem song "Stan" with the lyrics rewritten, as he seemed to be obsessed with this on his website.

Second, I'd like to solicit contributions. If anyone has any news, announcements, gossip, etc., they can send it to Got an axe to grind? Consider me the whetstone against which to grind your axe. Is whetstone the word I'm thinking of? You know, that spinning wheel thing where the sparks shoot out when you press the metal to it. I'm that.

Third, I thought I'd link to a couple of blogs that I read. Not the local ones, but the weird ones I read randomly. First there is a new one with barely any content but I hope she keeps writing. I love that she is so obsessed with this co-worker that she hates that she wants to blog about it. I also like the tagline under the title: Just a blog about the shit in my life to make others feel better about theirs. Sounds depressing but it's not really.

Another one is by this awful, awful woman in New York who is trying to get a book deal by blogging about her sex in the city-wannabe life. It's at: There is tons of content on this one, you can cyber-spy for hours on stuff like her doctor husband cheating on her when she was pregnant, her slutting around, etc. There was a crazy post up yesterday that she has since taken down in which she detailed a nasty hookup that led to the guy emailing her the next day and saying "I enjoyed having my shaft down your throat last night". I just keep thinking, "her parent must read this, how can she write stuff like that?". She also is a self-hating Jew who hates JAPS and insists she is not one, although if she wants to haul out that stereotype, she seems to fit it pretty well. Her comments are particularly funny, because she has all these trolls (that's a blog term for creepy commenters) that comment on her site and obviously have the hots for her. The "un homme" guy is the worst. He is always kissing her ass in a creepy way and being all chummy even though he has never met her.

Also, it's fun to go to blogspot and randomly pick blogs from the recently updated list. Most of them are boring but some of them are insane.

That's all for now. Maybe I'll post later.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Kings analysis

Yes! I get to be lazy today because Dan Barnes has written a post for me! An excellent analysis of the Kings. Have they lost their mojo? Oh, behave!

My short-answer assessment of the Kings performance this season is this: at the beginning of the year, I felt we were among 6-8 teams that could legitimately be called championship contenders but not among the 2 or 3 truly elite squads. After the first month of the season, I don't see any reason to change that assessment. How well you accept that depends on whether you're happy the Kings are better than 95% of the league, or frustrated that we're still worse than 5%.

I think that coming into the season, many fans were afraid that the team would lack chemistry and even be boring to watch. As should be obvious to anyone who's been watching, neither of these fears has been realized. I think there was some awkwardness early in the season due to a bitter offseason, whether it was emotional seething or physical apathy or both. We were so familiar with a Kings team that was friends off the court, and that sense of fun often manifested itself in how they would play. This Kings team may not be as chummy as in years past, but I'll sacrifice cuddliness for a championship any time. And the beautiful thing about the Kings is that they have great scorers who are also great passers, and players love playing with other players who set them up for scores. And if you've been watching the Kings lately, you know that almost every basket scored in recent weeks has been assisted (that is, set up by a pass). At the end of the day, I think the concerns about the Kings have been over-pundicized out of proportion...this is still a 55-60 win team that will win its division and secure one of the top 3 seeds in the playoffs (the team's current 12-5 record puts them right on that pace) What they do beyond that in the playoffs will depend on the usual mixture of talent, determination, and luck. In recent years, the Kings have been unlucky, losing major players to injury during or on the eve of the playoffs. I'd like to think we're due for good luck while some other teams might be in line for some bad. But that's a long ways off.

For the short term, here are some of my main concerns about the team.

1) They still haven't played one solid 48-minute game...even their blowout wins (such as last night in Boston) have been marred by stretches of inexplicably horrible play.

2) Rebounding....there seems to be more effort in recent games, but they still have the tendency to make average rebounders look like Moses Malone. This is where the lack of athleticism among our big men hurts badly.

3) Chris Webber on the 2nd night of for spotty shooting, Webber has had a great season, but he always seems to be laboring on the second of consecutive games.

4) The Bench....I actually feel our bench is as good as it's ever been or better. We could use one more skilled player deep in the rotation, but that's about it. Everyone was down on Ostertag from the very beginning, but I feel he may be the proverbial "missing piece" to the championship puzzle. Yes, he's geeky and lumpy and pasty-skinned, but he's also the type of player the Kings have always needed but never had--the dirty-work big man. If you've watched the last few games, you've gotten a hint as to how Ostertag can help the team--with rebounding, shot-blocking, screen-setting, and physical play. He can't score for shit, but isn't that why we have Webber, Miller, Peja, Bibby, Bobby, etc.?

5) This has nothing to do with the team, but I'd like to point out that if you watch the games and pretend that Grant Napear is a midget when they show him sitting behind press row next to Jerry Reynolds, the game becomes a lot funnier.

You know what makes sports funnier for me? When Dan and D.P. are watching sports (especially football) in his room and yelling and groaning at different plays, I like to pretend that they're having sex.

Monday, December 06, 2004

New slang

So courtesy of Cary Rodda, I am going to introduce some new slang to the Sac lexicon: loft, as a verb. I think it can have a few different meanings. The strictest interpretation would probably be: to talk aimlessly between songs at a show. Here it is used in a sentence: The Bananas didn't finish their set list on Saturday night because they spent so much time lofting.

Here's another possible meaning: to be lazy, to slack off. As in: Sunday I had a bunch of errands to run, but I blew it off and just lofted around the house.

Or: to have no ambition. For instance: I was thinking about going to med school, but I decided to loft instead.

As you can see, this is a very handy word and I expect that it could catch on in certain circles.

Any suggestions for a word that would mean the opposite of loft? It would mean something about being really "pro". I have a few in mind, but they're mean, so I thought I would let someone else make suggestions and catch the heat.

I got goosebumps when I heard about a recent hoax on Dow Chemical regarding the anniversary of the horrible chemical spill in Bhopal. They were talking about it on Democracy Now on KDVS and as they said the BBC had been hoaxed I started to cross my fingers that it had been the work of the Yes Men, and I was right! Read about it here: Dow still fails to take responsibility for this accident and they have not compensated the victims. If didn't see their movie at the Crest, you missed out and you should rent it on DVD.

This post contains dirty words.

So I saw Closer last night, in which Julia Roberts, America's sweetheart, reveals that not only does she dig it doggy-style, but she enjoys the occasional pearl necklace, all delivered in an unconvincing monotone that is supposed to indicate that she is "depressed". I probably would have thought this movie was cool when I was nineteen.

The weekends in Sac are heating up as the holidays approach. I missed the Bananas at the Distillery on saturday due to a multitude of pre and after parties (I don't know what to call the actual party, the during party?), but I heard that Mike R. Mike shut down a heckler in grand style. To paraphrase:
Heckler: Why don't you meet me in the alley after the show and suck my dick!
Mike R. Mike: OK, I've been practicing, I've had a toothpick in my mouth all day!
Crowd: Damn!

There was finally a good dance party that night, with DJ Conor and others tearin' it up and some pharmological experimentation courtesy of Sacramento's own Dr. Feelgood. Who said you can't mix uppers and downers? I don't know who said it, but I bet they were a square.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Celebrity butt

OK, so I don't normally do celebrity gossip, but this isn't really gossip, it's m0re a picture of a nice ass. Here's Natalie Portman's butt from the movie Closer:


From the Sac Bee:
On Wednesday night, Fargo asked an audience of about 200 community members attending a redevelopment workshop at Sacramento City Hall whether they would support a Wal-Mart in Downtown Plaza. Nobody raised a hand
Oh, so now the mayor cares what the people of Sacramento think. What a hypocrite! Did she ever ask for a show of hands at a city council meeting for how many favored a publicly financed downtown arena? If the Maloofs hadn't stormed out yet she could at least count on two hands raised in favor. As much as I hate Wal-Mart it's really funny to see the city council shuddering at the idea of a low-end retailer in the "jewel" (as the Bee repeatedly refers to it) that is downtown plaza.

Here's another golden quote:
"It doesn't fit into our concept of downtown," Mayor Heather Fargo said of the Wal-Mart idea. "You're not going to go out of your way to come downtown for a business that's not unique. We need people to come downtown for the unique things it can offer."
Oh, unique like a Century theater megaplex? Or no, unique like a P.F. Changs. She wants them to put in something upscale, like a Nordstroms, which I guess is the kind of unique she's talking about.

The Bee also has a prominent story today about total Ds that collect shoes. A pretty long and prominent story. Is that necessary? I'm not really interested in people who profess to spend all their disposable income on sneakers. Isn't there a local band they could write about? What's Jackie Greene been up to lately?

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Brew it up!

I couldn't post today because (shockingly) I had lots of work to do. Anyway, Brew It Up:
Ambiance-eh. Yuppie style all the way
Smell-Smells crazy like hops and grain. I liked it cuz it had kind of a barn feel. Others in our party hated it and thought it smelled like steamed broccoli. Michael complained afterwards that I smelled like a tavern.
Food-grotty to the max. All the appetizers we got were nasty. Everything is fried and comes with a million fatty dippin' sauces. The artichoke dipped tasted and looked like nacho cheese. The exception was the yummy....
Pretzels: Even if you're just drinking beer they bring out rounds of good soft pretzels and mustard.
Beer: Great! They have tons of different kinds and they won't give you that instant headache that comes from drinking nasty Rubicon beer, not the mention the bitter beer face, which as we all know, chicks hate.
I will be back, but not to eat. Only for the sweet, sweet beer.

I didn't interview any Limeys at the Lair cuz I am chicken. I did order a to-go order of potato pancakes with salmon from Trattoria Bohemia and they brought them over to me in the bar. That was one of the best ideas I've ever had, which isn't saying much.

I'll try to think of something in local politics to rail against tomorrow so that this won't turn into a food review blog.

Goddamn! My boss just walked in and I did the click to Excel spreadsheet thing while she stood there and talked to me! She was so not fooled. Fuck!

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

yay! new out hud (finally)

Here's the news from Pitchfork today:
I can't wait till the out hud comes out and it's so rad that !!! is touring Japan yet again.

Wal-Mart ahoy!

Just a quick post. I'll try to post later. Man that Chimay Ale at the Bonn Lair will kick your ass. Or, I mean to say it has kicked my ass. Alert reader Anna reminded me about the community planning meeting that's going on tonight. Unfortunately I have a work dinner at exactly that time at Brew It Up. It will be interesting to go there for the first time, but I may not feel like sampling the beer, which I've heard raves about. Anyway, here's the info on the meeting:
12/1, 6-8pm at Interim City Hall, 730 I Street, CityCouncil chambers
Maybe Anna will write about what gets discussed. Graswich breaks the story today of a Wal-Mart potentially going in at downtown plaza (well, not breaks, I heard about this at a city council meeting). I don't care what they put in as long as they just occupy the space they have and don't expand. Councilwoman Pannell is in an uproar cuz Wal-Mart isn't "upscale" enough but who cares? Actually, I take that back I do hate Wal-Mart and they'll probably put up some really ugly signage. Maybe I am against it. Aaah! Hangover! I have to go pick up a speaker at her hotel now. It's really embarassing when normal people see my filthy car. If you just saw my car you would think I'm a crusty. Especially with the "this bike is a pipe bomb" sticker. All I need is a pitbull with a rope leash in the back and some empty forty bottles rolling around.