Happy Noyer!

Yo, this is Miller here. I've had enough of this 'my blog's on holiday' crap. I need some shit to read! Unfortunately, I really have nothing in mind to say but still, you're reading this right now & it's better than that 'Gag Me' post that's been festering at the top since, like, Thanksgiving. I've stooped to reading other cities' Craig's List's (Sac's is THE worst) to get some entertainment. There's some argument on the NYC list about a photo of people in Sri Lanka helping with the tsunami cleanup. This one kid in the photo is wearing a Bin-Laden t-shirt - so of course there's a bunch of people saying we shouldn't send any aid now. Is it just me or is a Bin-Laden shirt kinda funny? Especially because it looks like it may be one of those religious style photos that they doctor with that somewhat holy hue so it kinda looks like a painting. I mean, shit, I went to Brazil right after 9/11 & I saw maybe 5 Bin-Laden shirts on people who were either wasted or, like, 10 years old. They just hate Bush & like that someone made him look like a stooge. I'm pretty sure they're not looking to live under some extremist Muslim rule. So yeah, I started thinking "what if I were to buy one of these shirts & try to get it back to the U.S.?". Would customs fuck with me? Or what if I got it home & wore it to Denio's or something. How long would I last? Even better, what if I were to make bootleg Bin-Laden shirts & sell them at Denio's?! Of course, something would have to be spelled wrong on it. "Ben-Ladin Is My Homeboy". Or maybe a bad fake-Simpsons style drawing - "Osama Bart Laden" on a surfboard saying "Get Out Of The Way Man!". Or maybe Bin-Laden pissing on Calvin? No, wait, pissing on a Jesus fish. OBL, drawn Simpsons style, pissing on a Jesus fish is going to make me rich! Now for some reason referring to him as OBL is making me laugh. What up OBL?!
Shit, what else? I'm trying to get a gig as a standup comedian so I was trying to think up some New Years jokes. Man, I can't think of one! I've spent half the morning trying to make some pun on Baby New Year or Happy New Year but I got nothin'. Well, I work with this dude named Ed Noyer & I thought of saying "Happy No-yer" to him - but that's not a joke you can just bust out at Laughs Unlimited open mic. I'd have to be all "OK everyone, I work with this guy....".
Oh wait, here's a good one - when you leave work today, loudly proclaim "See you next year!" Watch their jaws drop & then, suddenly, they get it & they're all "you da man!". Get's 'em every year. Little known fact: I made that joke up years ago & now it's everywhere. I ain't mad though.
Here's some I just thought up:
What did OBL say to Baby New Year?
"Get out of the way Man!"
Who are Baby New Year's parents?
Babymomma & Babydaddy New Year
That's all you get - don't steal them! I was gonna come up with some stupid Adam & Eve joke like: Why didn't Adam go out on New Years? Cuz he was chillin' with New Years Eve - but I deemed it too stupid. Ask any comedian - you GOT to have standards.
See you next year!!!!