Wednesday, September 28, 2005

tuna pizza

Hey everybody

greetings from faro. today me and scott took an intense bike ride to the beach. lets just say this country is not exactly bike friendly. we were basically riding bikes on the freeway. then i got a flat tire. we have post traumatic stress similar to if we were in nam. the doctor prescribes vast amounts of port and luckily its very easy to get here.

michele-we did go to setubal and we had a good time. the only thing that sucked is that we planned the day trip poorly and were rushing to get back. however, we had one of our best meals so far there. and we ate tripe, which is repulsive.

today i had one of my worst meals. we ate at a creperie for breakfast out of desperation to get something semi normal and maybe have eggs for breakfast and the saddest waitress (she was filled with saudade) served me a crepe filled with a COLD chopped hard boiled egg, cold unmelted cheese, frozen corn, and RAW BACON. i almost started crying (i know i was being a baby but i was so hungry and i just wanted anything i could eat) so scott took a bite to make me feel better and later he got really nauseous.

jenny-i came to this internet cafe in hopes of emailing you our arrival info but of course i left that in the room. however, i do know for semi sure that we arrive at 645 on monday on a continental flight. i may have the time wrong but rest assured i will email it to you sometime before then.

p.s.-scott ate a tuna fish pizza while we were in coimbra. it was pretty good. like a tuna melt. also, the college students there wear these awesome black uniforms with patches all over them that tell what they are studying.

Monday, September 26, 2005


First things first, Ben, of course we have tried Super Bock Green and of course it is disgusting. Scott POURED IT DOWN THE DRAIN. A beer that miller couldn't drink, if that tells you how bad it was. A clue to those not in the know-it's lemon flavored. More like a lemon cleaner taste than a lemon taste. Look for it soon at a Trader Joes near you.

Second-who said we should go to Sagres and why? We're considering it so I want to know what it's like. I like the beer, so maybe I'll like the town.

Third-how can a city as beautiful as Porto exist? It seems impossible. I heard a convo between two guys that were drinking Super Bocks about how they've never been anywhere so beautiful and I'm pretty darn sure that they were God and Jesus. It could have just been two guys that looked exactly like them, but I was pretty sure. Jesus (Jewish) was totally checking me out when I walked by.

Fourth-a local specialty in Porto is a little intestinal challenge called the franscechina. I think I'm spelling it wrong, but here's a summary of one that I ate, starting at the top:

covered in tomato gravy
not a joke

last night in Coimbra a little after dinner liquor that i will never speak of again (although miller is planning on bringing a bottle back so hit him up for some if you would like to lose your mind) put the hex on me so my stomach is not up the challenge of any more Portuguese food and we going to eat dinner at this bomb ass Indian place that Marie clued us into. And then later tonight we're going to see Smog. I hesitated to write that we're on the guest list but it's true. I'm finally gonna get to check out Joanna Newsome's ass that Ive heard so much about. That sounds gross so I feel the need to add that of course she is very talented.

Tomorrow, to the beach!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

heckasac here

I am almost too tired to post this. I´ve had an exhausting day of drinking the best vinho verde ever made, eating seafood straight out of the ocean, and now after this I have to trek up to another tiresome beautiful castle. Life´s hard. But seriously, this country is probably the best, except that for some reason they don´t love freedom. They might like freedom, but they don´t love it like we do. The people here are so nice, they don´t even care that I can barely remember how to order two beers in Portuguese without fucking up. They just humor me and smile. smiller´s stoked because you cannot walk more than ten feet in any direction without passing a purveyor of the fine local brew, which boils down to a choice between Super Bock and Sagres. Even the babies drink brew around here. The only bad thing is that everyone plays either bad American music or bad Portuguese covers of bad American music. Right now they´re playing Evanescence. Oh well, time to go to the castle.

p.s.~yesterday we ate grilled sausages with a fried egg on the top and fries on the side. You can´t not get fries with everything. In fact, every night we sleep on a bed of fries and the maid comes and puts a fried egg on top of us, that´s how common it is.

Friday, September 16, 2005


The sad thing is, I have learned no Portuguese whatsoever for the trip, so I had to look up how to say goodbye on babelfish.

Check this space once in awhile. I'll be back in sac on the 5th.



don't forget the classic brooklyn band, clapclapclap

two stories that won't be funny (until you read them high)

All you east coast folks are lucky enough to be able to go to a new cool exhibit at the American Folk Art museum. It's "outsider art" (a la Darger), but the theme and title of the show is Obsessive Drawing. The small pics on the website look rad. It's running forever, until March, and I hope to be in NYC in november, so maybe I can go see it, too.

There's a Lyme Regis show in Oakland tonight that I'll be at. The other Pets (not the Sac ones) will be playing, too. That's reminds me of a past stoney idea that D.P. reminded me of yesterday. Probably 5 or 6 years ago we got really stoned (cool) and thought up the idea of secondary pets. You know, pets for your pets. We wrote a commercial and used it as the 26th st. answering machine message. D.P. was using a wrestler-style voice of a man commanding that you "Get that pet a pet" and then I came on and told about the virtues of secondary pets. It still makes me laugh thinking about it. Some of you may have heard it at the time, and you probably didn't think it was funny then, either. Charles also made me laugh last night reminding me of a stoney idea he had to write the biography of the man who invented the chainsaw. I think that's really funny. But I was stoned when he was telling me.

hooters! hooters! hoooooooters!

I got done packing and learning Portuguese in surprisingly good time last night so I decided to hop onto the trip to Hooters that had been planned. We drove out to the Arden Mall area and my stomach sank when I saw the multitudes camped out in the parking lot. The "lady" at the front told us it would be 45 minutes. I've been to Hooters before, and I do like the chicken, but it's certainly not worth waiting 45 minutes for. I also started getting stressed out at the crowd that was there. I was trying to relate this to DB later, and I said there were "horrible people" there. DB asked me to clarify and D.P. quickly interjected "I think she means 'normal Americans'". When I'm around dudes like that I always think they're going to start making fun of me. Grace was very irritated upon encountering the hooter's slogan that's printed on the back of all the ladies tankers. It's "delightfully tacky, yet unrefined". These words are synonyms, so using "yet" makes no sense whatsoever.

To make a long boring story short, we went to Maaloufs instead and every single thing we ordered was great. Paul got the baked kibbee lunch which has sort of a kibbee loaf rather than the deep-fried balls (yum) that are in the sandwich. The loaf tasted great. He also got a nasty yogurt drink but then turned up his nose at the Best Dessert In The World. What a weirdo. It was funny that we ended up there, because in a couple of days he will be in Armenia and this kind of food is all he's going to be able to get for a couple of weeks. But it is one of the best types of cuisine in the world, so how could you get sick of it?

Thursday, September 15, 2005


Now I'm like OBSESSED with finding out more about Hipgnosis. All the books I can find seem to be out of print. I can't even find out why the book is called "walk away rene". I found one of the founder's (Storm Thorgerson) websites. Here's a little thing he wrote about a Led Zeppelin cover that used to fascinate me. Now that I tested the link (like a real scientist) I see that the website is set up so you can't go directly. If you really care, go to "anecdotes", then "golden oldies" and then click on the Led Zep "presence" cover. And if you do all that you have wayyy too much time on your hands. Can there be any designers more responsible for the art look of the 80's than these guys? It's crazy.

offal (awful?) restaurant

boy, things are getting really punny around here. no pun intended.

I just had a brill idea! D.P.-you have to go to the offal restaurant when you're in London. Here's a link to the menu.

And here's a link to the Hipgnosis website to see a selection of album covers that, if you're anything like me, gave you nightmares when you were a kid. The Cochise one at the top left is new to me, but it's pretty sweet. I want to look for a site that has more of their shit, I know there's more scary stuff. I used to love staring at my dad's album covers and freaking myself out. The Black Sabbath greatest hits with Breugel's painting "the Triumph of Death" was the one I liked to look at the most. It's horrifying. Go here, and click on the painting title for detail. Did you guys have any favorites when you were little? Good or bad?

Here's another website that has lots more. These guys did everything! The UFO "Heavy Petting" was one that really disturbed me as a kid. I guess my dad had it. There's a lady hooked up by tubes to a little monkey. And sorry to keep dragging you guys down memory lane, but this is one of my favorite album covers ever. My dad is a rabid 10cc fan.


This is pretty minor, but I'm about to possibly save you nine bucks and a wasted meal. DO NOT get the spaghettini at Bernardo. It's new and it sounds intriguing, but the described pasta, "summer squash", heirloom tomatoes, and breadcrumbs really meant a plate of insanely oily, unappealingly textured (it was really thick, i don't like spaghetti-there was no "ini" about it) pasta, and the promised squash was just zucchini. It was too salty and there were about 5 cloves of near-raw garlic in it. It tasted exactly like something I'd make at home, only I'd make it better.


Do you have extra time?

Niki has tons of good pictures on her flickr account

Zac Posen has a really cool apartment. Look at the slideshow and drool.

hot gossip


Even though she's the mom of a 2 year old, Kate Moss still knows how to party. The story in the Mirror relates how she (I guess on video?) cuts up 20 lines of coke, smokes weed, all while drinking shots of vodka and whiskey, smoking, and drinking wine and beer. And of course Pete Doherty and Mick Jones are there snorting up, too.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

you decide

There's something about the internet in general and blogging specifically that inspires hyperbole. It's not enough to say that something's great. It has to be best ever. Or worst ever. Or Worst. Thing Ever. So I will resist the urge here and just say this is A) quite funny and B) somewhat disturbing

Mr. P Chill

I think somebody (with nice teats) was wondering what the phrase "mr p chill" is. Now you know.


Originally uploaded by becklerg.

I thought you Strangers With Candy fans might appreciate this hott picture of the only Sedaris that matters. I guess the movie might be heading straight to DVD. I don't care as long as I get to see it. I'd like to see Dinello on the big screen, though.

get off my teat!

Are you jonesing for heckasac? Sorry, I've been trying to wean you off my blog-teat slowly this week but you're gonna have to get used to it. This saturday I'm heading off to sunny (well, right now it's semi-cloudy with scattered showers, but whatever) portugal and I won't be back in the lab until the 5th. And you can't suckle off smiller's teat, either (most disgusting sentence ever), because he's coming with me! Maybe we'll feel like posting once in a while but I doubt if we're going to be hanging out in a lot of internet cafes. We're mostly going to be kicking it with other world travelers in our hostel. I hope I meet lots of young Australians and Germans. J.K.!

OK, one little post. I hear there is a Tower eating challenge being planned. It pits Mike R. against Cooter in a chicken wings eating contest. It's going to take place late at night and Mike R. is not going to eat all day. However, Cooter is so confident in his abilities that he plans to eat a full meal beforehand. I even heard him quoted as saying "call me after Thanksgiving dinner and I'll still win". Bold words. D.P. wants to have a cannoli eating contest, probably with himself.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


I just got a hit from someone searching for "opossum genitals".

This is the second day I've been exiled from my desk so I can't really post.

Monday, September 12, 2005

a couple more things...

I can see you're all checking so I might as well post even though I threatened not to. Plus, I can't really shut up even if I try. three things:

1) thanks to mike r. and his housemates for hosting some of the most fun shows and events that I have been to this year at Puppet Towne

2) The Bee made no mention of September 11th on front page yesterday. Tacky. They had a thing today, but still.

3) a new song/chant has been added to the best of sac chants. it had a few variations:

it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean
switched to (and the ladies seemed to approve)
it's not the motion of the ocean it's the size of the ship
it's not the size of the dongo it's the rhythm of the bongo
and as it that last one was not embarrassing enough to sing, the mother of all chants
it's not the depth of the vageen, it's the rhythm of the tambourine (he did say "depth" not "size, am I right? i was reasonably sober. and by that i mean my blood alcohol content was less than 1/3 of the total volume)

ok, one more thing. the all star jam that closed out the show was one of the funniest things i have ever seen. it became a karaoke-ish singalong for some of the diehards that were left, the highlight of which was "don't look back in anger".

one more teeny little thing-thanks to knock knock for singing the lullabye. gorgeous.

last post

I am depressed by the relative lack of comments and I am not going to reward your bad behavior with any more posts.

I would just like to officially make a fashion prediction (which is less than earth-shattering because its already happening) that high waisted seventies jeans are going to be coming in with a vengeance. They will be kind of bell-y or flowy at the bottom but these are major ass jeans. Check out the Imitation of Christ show for ideas. Click to see the slide show. I can't rock these jeans, I prefer more classic cuts, but that doesn't bug me too much because I weathered the Wranglers trend (which never hit as big out here as on the east coast) and I'm glad I resisted the urge to try to wear those. They're not very flattering. Except on cowboys because, of course, Wrangler butts drive me nuts.

stupid work

Other adventures in food this weekend included my first try of o-toro-one of the special tuna cuts that I have been wanting to try. It was dark and oily, and slightly more fishy than I usually like, but the fattiness made it delicious. This was at Mikunis, which is really not too bad if you go when it's not packed. I hear Heckamax might be celebrating there tonight.

why won't the work end? how am i supposed to sum up the acoustic show????????

sub shack, baby that's where it's at

I suspect something weird is going on with the comments cuz mine didn't post. I was going to say that the picture of the gropey couple on Chris' blog is funny because later in the night I heard that dude go "man, I'm sooooo wasted". And of course because he was an art walk dude he had been chugging from a bottle of white wine.

And, sorry Sac, I'm not that hot red head and it's certainly debatable whether I am indeed a hot redhead. I am NOT fishing for compliments-if you want to rate whether I'm hott or not go to and search for my picture. I do have a great personality, though. Well, an OK personality.

This is blowing my mind but I heard a firsthand account of a secret show that Van Halen just played in Davis. This does not seem like it could be true, by the guy swore it was. I have asked if there are digital pictures on the net cuz I have to see it to believe it.

Aaahhh!! Why must everyone in my lab constantly lurk behind my desk today? How am I supposed to post?

I ate at the new Sub Shack (not really new, it just has a new owner) on saturday and I am STOKED on this place. The breakfast was really good, they are now open sundays, they have kept the exact same lunch menu, they have a nice selection of wines by the glass now, and it looks like the owner is testing the waters for dinner because he is having appetizers on thursday nights. This mitigates the pain of losing Cafe Melange in its present form.

more birthdays!

So much business to take care of.

1) Although his fascist school authorities have forbidden him access due to my R rating for sexual content and occasional drug references, perhaps someone will tell him that Heckasac sez
Happy 31st Birthday Heckamax!
Welcome to the thirty wonderful club. Hope to see you tonight and you better be wasted.

Our beloved Melange is morphing into a Crepeville. Discuss.

3) Before I post about the show on saturday, why don't I just link to Chris Olsen's blog and you can see some of the best pictures ever taken of any event ever.

4) I just learned on the chick list that Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies is a Clamper.

I have more crap to post but it will have to wait.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Happy birthday!

Happy Birthday to smiller tomorrow! Other people might be embarrassed to have their birthday announced in such a public forum, but not smiller-he likes to milk it for all its worth. You can pay your respects tomorrow at the show at Ye Olde Puppet Towne (around the corner from the art store on J, I still don't know the cross streets). As I said before, Oliver Brown, The Jay and Joel Orchestra present Toca de Bongo, Knock Knock acoustic. What more could you want? There is a pre-show barbecue at this location starting around 7:00.

I'm out for the weekend. Fucking finally. I'm exhausted from all the hard work I've done. My wrist is sore from moving the mouse and my fingertips are throbbing from all the keyboard pounding I do. All for you.

hard at work

Aaah!!! What book is she talking about? The Old Testament? This is going to drive me nuts.

Oh, and Brew and Mike R.-that "stamps are legal tender" thing is from the Office.

David - "In fact, a postage stamp is legal tender. A bus driver would have to accept that as currency."
Tim - "Yeah, that'd happen."
David - "Well, if he doesn't, report him."
Tim - "?Yeah, I'll report him while I'm walking home." Gareth - "Get a taxi, if you've got enough stamps."
David - "or cash 'em in at the Post Office." Shouldnt have to. Shouldnt have to.?

to each his own

There are many reasons that people have babies. It can be planned or an accident. It can be because you have love to share, because you're lonely, or because you're so goshdarned in love with your partner that you just have to create another human being with them. Or this could be why.


Somebody(who is most certainly not any type of law enforcement official) has an MC with some nose candy over on CL. Don't worry though, he's just scoring it for a friend that needs it to get through rehab. It's nice that in these tough times people can band together to help each other.

Natalie got an MC, too. I hope it's not from some whack job at the library.

Halloween show?

The show at FF was really fun and, as promised, did move at a fairly brisk pace. It was over by about 12:15-which is not bad for a show that couldn't start until 10:00. I missed Dead Western. Marissa Nadler had a pretty voice, but it kind of had that quavery folk tone that I don't always like and it was a little bland for my tastes. But pleasant. She had the folk look down, with the long hair parted down the middle, but then she ruined the illusion during Jack Rose by texting on her cell phone. I got really stoned (I'm so cool) between Marissa and Jack and for the rest of the night I thought I was being SO FUNNY. If you talked to me and you didn't find this to be the case then maybe next time you should try getting stoned before you talk to me. I kept tripping on how Mochi the chihuahua looked like a chicken nugget and that a certain local father of two really looks like he should be cast in a movie about the Napoleonic era. This is not a dis, that's a cool look. I was "in the zone" as they say during Jack Rose and I liked it. It was more country-fried than I expected, then it got kinda sitar-y at the end. Or maybe all instruments just start sounding like the sitar when you are that stoned.

This is an appeal to all Heckasac readers. There is an important local issue to decide. I'm not saying there will be one for sure, but IF there were to be a Halloween cover show, what do you guys think would be a good theme? Some of the suggestions that were bandied about last night included:

1) coke bands

2) 70's coke bands

3) 90's punk (think NOU and Bikini Kill)

4) all Beatles all the time

Potential problems with coke bands, especially 70's coke bands (the names that came up were, of course, the Mac, Eagles, Steve Miller, etc.) are that these are pretty technically proficient bands, you can't just throw Chicago together in one practice.

I will just weigh in right now and say that the all Beatles idea is the one that I favor. Picture if you will a room full of people all of whom are dressed like a member of the Beatles. People could do all the different eras. People could do solo projects. I'm sure someone would do Wings. Grace could be Yoko Ono finally. I think that sounds really funny. But I'm just one person. Yep, just one person with an enormous amount of influence in this town and a will to crush anyone who stands in my way.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

paul and phil are the worst

Don't read the CL rants and raves becaue the homophobia and racism will make you sick, but I have a strong stomach so I briefly checked it and there is this running topic of some stupid shit that Paul and Phil said on talk 650 or Y92 about New Orleans. Somebody finally posted this funny rant that hit the nail on the head. Hopefully these total D's get fired

Here's a CL poem to lift your spirits.

And if you're not busy on saturday morning.... Actually straight people already have a straight pride parade. It's basically every fucking parade that exists, every wedding, every TV show, every rom com, etc., etc.


The SN&R (which is a real snore this week) has a pointless multi-page article about Nyla, a local man who is transitioning genders. I first saw this dude around like 8 years ago at some night at Cafe Paris that Kev Seconds was running (why the fuck was I at this? I have no idea-you know, on further thought, could the New States have been playing at it? Perhaps). Kev was running a dating game thing and Nyla was a contestant. After that, I would see him around. I got a creepy vibe from him, not cuz he dressed like a woman or anything like that, but because he would come into the co-op dressed like a man and try to get ladies who worked in the deli to look at pictures of him dressed as a woman. He seemed to be getting a sexual thrill out of getting us to look at the pictures and that's what creeped me out. I feel mean writing that, maybe it was harmless. Anyway, my POINT (and I kindahave one) is why does this deserve an article? It's not tied into anything larger about people who are transgender, and it doesn't talk about any other locals who are transitioning. I mean, Sac is small, but this is ridiculous. Being transgender is not that big a deal anymore. It's relatively common. Might as well write a profile about one local man who thinks he might be gay or something.

They also have a food review of Twelve Bridges that is markedly more positive than the slam it got over on chowhound, but is decidedly not glowing nonetheless. A more concise writer than I could have distilled that last sentence into "Twelve Bridges got a bad review". But you don't come here for good writing. You come here because you're bored. But no one is more bored than me.

jandek show review

Here's a review of a NYC Jandek show with pics.

The Jack Rose show at FF is tonight. I am pretty sure this will be a fun show. It will be chill for sure because there will be chairs. On the undie list someone suggested that this it will make it more fun for those who may be high, and who am I to argue with that logic? Starts at 10:00 and they swear it will move pretty fast so that they won't have to hear any bitching on the the undietacos message board the next day.

Diamond Princess

baddest bitch
Originally uploaded by becklerg.

I was listening to this New Orleans classic bounce CD that this website is hosting right now, and I got to thinking about the Magnolia projects in New Orleans and how so much of my favorite hip-hop came out of there or surrounding areas. I thought it would be cool to look up some info on those projects but there isn't really any on the net. I just kept finding stuff about how Juvenile's house on the lake got destroyed and how a bunch of his family members are missing and stuff. Listening to that mix CD it is crazy how much Juvie's style has changed over the years, it didn't use to have his distinctive nasal tone, but I guess he's been rapping since he was ten so it makes sense that he might have changed over the years.

Anyways, all that got me thinking about the Smashing Times that I'm currently researching and compiling, which got me thinking about the Diamond Princess, Trina, who has a new album (titled The Glamorest Life-awesome) coming out on October 4th. Jenny (what's up Jenny) may be the only one to click on this link, but if you do you can see her new video with lil wayne. The song is kinda weak and not that dirty. I hope the other singles are better. Also, sadly Trina was all blonde at the VMAs and looked like crap.

Speaking of the VMAs, I am behind the times, but Grace Tivo'd them and I finally got to see the R. Kelly thing yesterday. It was pretty crazy. It seemed thrown together cuz R. was forgetting the lyrics he was lip syncing and just gave up near the end. Goddamn I am just going to post it because you wouldn't believe the number of times coworkers have walked by and I feel parnoid that everyone in this place is wondering what I am up to.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

late links

I'm bored and I can't leave yet so I'll attempt to amuse you (and myself) with some CL men seek women links. I know, exciting. Your palms are probably getting all sweaty right now and slipping off the keys.

This one is more of an erotic story than an ad (it's just text but it's pretty racy so you judge if it's SFW, it's SFMY**). It's creepy. He keeps emphasizing slender and waiflike, thin, but with giant breasts. Someone's been reading too many comic books.

This guy should probably just go to a bar (Elixer?) and look for a lady who's hammered. He would probably get better results. Like that part in 40 year old virgin where he picks up the drunk girl. That part's classic. Oh? You haven't seen it yet? You say that you don't like funny movies or laughing? Maybe you should go see The Wedding Crashers instead, then.

And to think I went to Natalie's friday night when I could have been jamming on my flute. OK, I'm stretching here. This one's not that funny and at least it's about some people who actually got together and talked so it's not making me sad like some of the other ones.

I'll try again...this one has a funny typo?

Weak. Well, I'm going home anyway!

**safe for my work

floyd simeon rules

I love the internet. You really can find anything. Yesterday I heard this sound bite on democracy now that was so cool that I wished I had a transcript so I could print it. And democracy now actually transcribes their shows and posts it on the internet for free. This guy was too cool to believe. Here's the choice quote:

to set the scene, here' s how the reporter started the report

JOHN HAMILTON: It's Saturday afternoon in Orleans Parish, six days after Hurricane Katrina hit. It's here that the waters of Lake Pontchartrain have flooded the Crescent City. What were once the streets of New Orleans are now a series of canals marked only by street signs scarcely breaking the surface of the water. We've come on a small motorboat with Dr. Tooty Sheban and Floyd Simeon. At the helm are two volunteers who rode in from Louisville, Kentucky. We've come to look for survivors.

Floyd Simeon is the guy that's the best. So that you can picture him, here's how Dr. Tooty described him:
JOHN HAMILTON: When you said pirate supplies, what do you mean?
TOOTY SHEBAN: I mean he (Floyd) went and begged. But we always call him The Pirate because he has a big black truck and carries a parrot and all that.

Finally, here's the quote:

JOHN HAMILTON: Floyd, what do you think about the government's response to this crisis?
FLOYD SIMEON: What government? We don't have any government response here. Everything that's taken place has taken place by volunteers and citizens in the area. You know, I don't want to be critical of my government and not supportive. It's just taken so long and it’s so slow. I mean you would think in this situation when you look around me and behind me at all this, why aren't there 50 inflatable boats in the water working a grid making sure all these people are out of here? Why is it just volunteers? That's the only people you see around. And on top of that they're trying to stop volunteers from coming in. It seems like everyone has taken this approach that this has to be handled by the professionals and there's no professionals handling it. And when you look at it and they keep saying people need to stay out, you can't come home, they're telling people in Slidell that, they're telling people in Jefferson Parish that. What really needs to happen is everybody needs to come home and help. That's the only way this is going to get fixed. Everybody has to come back and fix their city. Obviously this area is not ready for people to come back into. But there's places where we can come in. You clear the trees, you clear your roads. Let them hook up to utilities and let's get things going again. It's not just going to happen by everybody sitting and waiting. And that's why we're here. We got tired of waiting.

puppet towne

Somebody tried to generate some excitement over on the undietacos message board (good luck) by linking to my post and trying to claim I hate that flyer. For the record: that flyer's OK by me. I like bloody eyes as much as the next guy. Probably more.

Speaking of that site, Mt. St. mtn has a sweet little site that's linked on it.

This saturday there's an acoustic show at ye olde puppet towne (this house needs a name so someone should make one up or i'm going to use this). Oliver Brown is playing! I haven't seen him in, like, forevs. Also, the Jay and Joel Orchestra will showcase the songs of Norman Greenbaum. And Knock Knock acoustic! I request the lullaby and I demand satisfaction! I'll remind you guys again later in the week, I just don't want people to make other plans for saturday.

Hot news for southside residents-the Peach Garden is dead and from its ashes has risen the Elixer Bar and Grill. So we're going to have a weird bar (a la Liquid) in our neighborhood. Maybe we can have a neighborhood hangout! We can do a pub crawl all within one block. Speaking of Liquid, how is that place doing? I haven't been there in like 2 years but I always thought it would fail. Leon and Niki, you guys hang out there, right?

So Worm and others who have raved about the Kanye album-how do you deal with the lead-off song having a Maroon 5 hook? That just puts me off the whole record. I don't think it's that great. I still only really like "Gold Digger". Don't believe the hype.

Oh yeah, and I guess that really was the last Out Hud show. Major bummer. Hopefully the people involved will have some exciting new projects to come.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


Originally uploaded by

Here's the flyer for the Jack Rose show. If that's what I can expect you can bet I will not be attending. Although I hear eye-gouging is the hot new thing in this scene.


Thanks to the anonymous commenter (please, just make up a name, i don't care if it's your real name) I know that the internet is abuzz with rumors that Out Hud just played their last show and everyone that attended sez they were on fire. There are so many great pictures, including an appearance in the titty-fied (and usually NSFW) website Last night's party. And on Stereogum. And Brooklyn Vegan. On stereogum they point out that Justin looks like Donald Sutherland right now.

So handsome

hot stuff!
Originally uploaded by becklerg.

The NY times has an article (which Anna told me about) on how Philip Roth is being honored with Library of America editions of all his books, an honor which has only been conferred on two living writers, Eudora Welty and Saul Bellow, so he's in pretty good company. The article is written in a weird, breezy style that rubbed me the wrong way somehow. But Roth seems like he's doing OK (although I guess the title "why is this man smiling" is a joke because he looks pretty stern in all the pictures), so that makes me happy.


Now for the promised blathering...

I ate at Everett and Jones (7271 Franklin Blvd.) this weekend. (sorry Homzee, it wasn't a plan, we just stumbled on it and said "why not?"). It's the Oakland barbecue chain that has an outpost in Sac now. It's cavernous inside and decorated with sports memorabilia with lots of tvs around that were all showing sports. You order at the counter, and it has a somewhat limited menu. Here's the online version. Miller got the small lunch order of chicken (which comes with one side and cornbread) and I got (what else?) brisket. The sauce comes in mild, medium and hot. He got medium, I got hot. The food was quickly brought out to us. My brisket, while not as tender as the brisket at the Chuck Wagon at the fair, was smoky and flavorful. I think medium sauce might be the way to go because to turn up the heat in mine they just added an insane amount of red pepper flakes and it was a bit much. Not too hot, but the red pepper just overwhelmed the other flavors. My side of greens had ham hock or some other meat in it, as it should, and it was good. The cornbread was excellent, too. Miller's chicken was falling off the bone and he said it was good. He got the potato salad side and he liked it. I really wish they had mac and cheese here, but I'd like to try the slaw and the beans another time. They claim that ribs are their specialty, so obviously I have to try that. It seems like everyone I know has been talking about ribs lately, and although they're something I can only recall eating a few times in my life, I think I need to start eating more ribs. My doctor might not agree with that statement but I already lie to him about how much I drink, so why should I tell him about this? Oh yeah, I ate the leftover brisket the next day (I still had a pretty big portion of leftovers from the small lunch serving) and it was even better.

more about food-

I never cease to be delighted by how delicious and consistent the food at Cafe Bernardos is. They had a new surprise in store for me the other night when I was mulling over their sparse (and crappy) wine list. I decided I would get a glass of the Freixenet, the Spanish sparkling wine that they have by the glass, but the place was about to close and I was worried I was going to get a flat, small glass for 5.50. I was thrilled to see him pull out the cutiest, tiniest little bottle that I've ever seen and proceed to pour the whole thing into a big glass. What a great deal! And then I had the soup of the day, which was just a simple corn chowder but it was exceptionally tasty. The corn tasted fresh off the cob. Fresh off the cob, I say. And with bits of bacon.

If you're still reading this far, did anybody listen to FM 102 this weekend? Why oh why do both big hip-hop stations in town suck a big fat dick at all times except holiday weekends? If they have it in them to be this good then why can't they be good all the time? The Bomb was OK, but 102 was blowing my mind. I sat on my porch for an hour yesterday listening and I just wish there was someone there with me to hear how good it was because I couldn't believe my ears. The DJ was doing a continuous mix, the highlight of which was a mix of "thuggish ruggish bone" (which is on my top ten list of all time hip-hop hits) over various backing tracks, including "the way you move" by Outkast. I guess you had to be there. This just made me more bitter that I have to suffer through 50 Cent and the same tired E-A-Ski track the rest of the time.

pretending everything's fine

The front-page news today is just mind-numbingly horrible, so I'm going to pretend it's not happening because there is nothing I can do about it and just blather on about the happenings in our happy little town. If you want more bad (yet fascinating) news, get this month's Harper's and read the article "still separate, still unequal" by Jonathan Kozol. (Or, I dug it up here if you have time to read it online) It would be of particular interest if you're a teacher, I think. It's a real tearjerker. I want to get this guy's book: Amazing Grace: The Lives of Children and the Conscience of a Nation, which is based on his experiences talking to children in the Bronx, because you can tell he has a way with kids and some of the quotes from the kids will make you cry. Like you need anything else to make you cry besides just contemplating the concept of Bush appointing a new chief justice.

thanks dudes

I was happy to see that so many interesting comments came in over the weekend. I want to post, but I don't have time right now unfortunately, so check back later.

Friday, September 02, 2005


There's some annoying bullshit going on at this site. (there's your link, are you happy?). Check the comments for the last few posts. What's up with you guys approving the comments before you post them? Scared? I'm gettting too mad but some guy wrote a really dumb comment about the Pet and Puppy center debacle.

Happy Labor Day weekend! Donate money to the Red Cross! Go to the fair! Go see Grizzly Man! Etc.!

restaurant review


The decor looks good. There are big tables with comfortable benches or tiny little tables with cushions where you can lounge. That's one of my favorite things about Marrakech (which is superior to this place in most ways so if you want Moroccan food and haven't been there, go there first), the way you can recline while eating. The Moroccans got it right with that. It's dim inside, maybe a bit too dim because I was having trouble seeing my food, but that's better than too bright. The music was too loud and was generic house type music for most of the time we were there.

I got really excited when I saw the menu because everything sounded great. It's a very small menu, and we ordered over half the items so I think we got a pretty good idea of the food. There seemed to be a little confusion over who our server was and the owner was definitely hovering and making his staff nervous. The place was not that crowded, definitely not as crowded as Tapa's right across the way, so maybe the business has been lackluster.

Little picky point-the dishes are hideous and cheap looking. The small, frosted glass, triangular plates looked more like ashtrays. No one likes to eat out of an ashtray with the possible exception of small babies who don't know any better. Stupid babies.

Three of us got wine. They carry a selection of Moroccan, Lebanese, and Armenian wines. We tried to order the Armenian pomegranate wine (Grace warned "it's like the pomegranate mead from the wedding"-which I liked so fine by me) but they were out, so I got a Moroccan red, and Grace got a Moroccan rose. Both our wines were watery and not that tasty. I forgot to ask Anna about hers. I'm all for offering exotic wines, but if they're from a region of the world that's not known for their fine wines you had better take care to pick some good ones!

First out was the stuffed dates. The were stuffed with chorizo and (I think) Teleme cheese and deep fried. Combining all these things will of course lead to something delicious. However, not to brag, if you've had my bacon wrapped dates they are better than this. Just to give you something to judge it by. We got a platter of hummus, baba ganoush, and labneh. I know what good labneh should taste like because I always get it from Maalouf's and this was not good labneh. It was so lemony that it tasted like something you would mop your floor with. The hummus was also some of the worst I've had at a restaurant. It was dry and pasty and tasted exactly like every time I've ever tried to make hummus from cans of garbanzos. The baba ganoush was OK. We also got skewers with merguez. This is a lamb sausage. I recently got this at Aioli and it was fucking great, with the only problem being that they give you like three bites for seven bucks. For 9 or so, this portion was much more generous, they gave us four sizable skewers, but the merguez tasted like hamburger. Also, they stuck a pepper on there that looked like a bell pepper but was insanely hot. I like hot stuff but I felt like I had been tricked. We got fatoosh, which is a salad, and was pretty tasty, but they put a big dollop of the lemon cleanser on top which overwhelmed all the flavors. We also got an eggplant salad, which was passable. Man, this isn't sounding favorable. All in all, because of the company it was still a pleasant dinner and nothing was bad, it just wasn't delicious. Everyone liked the dates best. I also want to try the kefta, but after the mediocre merguez, I don't know if they can handle their lamb. The one really delicious item was the Berber coffee that D.P. ended the meal with. It was thick, strong and flavorful without being bitter, and had a tiny hint of nutmeg or perhaps some other, more exotic spice. I pronounced it to be "like licking a Berber" and everyone laughed.

Oh shit, I forgot the thing we got that was called Chi Chi something, that was cheese and quince paste in pastry. The server lit it on fire in a fearful way that did not inspire confidence. Then he put it out with a squeeze of-guess what?-lemon. It was a hot ball of melted cheese with barely any discernible quince flavor. Anna had to tell me what a quince was, and I was excited to try it, but there seemed to be just a little sweet/sour aftertaste once the oily cheese slid down your throat. This is a weird dish, and it quickly congealed and became inedible.

After lingering over our meal, we were chatting, but then the belly dancer came in. I don't like belly dancing. It makes me uncomfortable, especially when there is pressure to tip or, even worse, when they call for audience participation. She was one of the latter type, and we fled to converse out in the roar of J street and watched some poor guy get his head wrapped in her scarf while he awkwardly tried to mimic her moves.

Overall: not terrible, Marrakech is better, but I'll probably give it one more chance. But check out the coffee and it's cool it's open until really late.

stuff to do

Oh yeah, I know what's going on tonight, it's Charles thing at the Distillery. The Readydudes and the Gynas.

And Grizzly Man opened at the Tower!!!!!!! And I really want to see the Constant Gardener (what a horrible title for a suspensful movie, I can't think of anything less suspensful than Constant Gardening-maybe Constant Email Checking?)


OK, so I did stop by the kickball game to fulfill my reporting duties. The Denver team was awe-inspiring. They had uniforms in (I think) the Broncos colors. Orange silk-screened shirts with a great Denver logo and blue short shorts (it was all dudes except for one lady). Dani and I discussed how we hope the tide is turning back to men wearing short shorts. I think American Apparel is helping to make this acceptable again. The ladies are down. Why should we have to show all the skin? The Denver team had a white van painted on both sides with a magnificent bobcat logo. Maybe Katy will post pictures. At one point they all piled into their van, lit off a firework,poured out of the van while a fog machine pumped out fog, and posed menacingly for pictures. The downside to this spectacle? It made us feel like Sac was lame cuz hardly enough people showed up to make up an entire team. I couldn't play because I only had a few minutes until I had to leave for dinner. I heard that Sac only scored one goal, and it was scored by a neighborhood kid who joined in. Before you think that Sac has been disgraced, let me tell you that Oakland had to forfeit from lack of players. But the Denver team were good sports and were still at the Flame as of midnight last night, so I'm sure Sac will be burned into their brains forever. I haven't been to the Flame in a while and I could not believe how strong the drinks still are. It's comical. 90% booze and 10% mixer. Viva La Flame! Also, between you and me, and I won't name names, but I would not be surprised if one or two of the Denver boys got a little bit of Saction (I just made that word up), so that's something else for them to take with them back to the mile high city. This is all unsubstantiated rumor, but you expect nothing less from Heckasac.

worst. lyrics. ever.

First thing-read that comment left by the for real journo this morning. Really interesting.

2nd-Anna told me that Taylor's is collecting donations for the Red Cross, so there's a convenient place for you to donate, which you should do, even if it's a dollar or something. I think I'm picking up stuff to barbecue there today, so I'll do my part. Also, I really enjoy donating blood (I know, weird) so I'll probably do that next week.

3rd-I'll post the review of Kasbah later.

4th-Vote for worst lyrics ever. I am nominating two songs.

1)-Foolish Games-Jewel-I have highlighted the worst part.

You took your coat off and stood in the rain,
You were always crazy like that
I watched from my window,
always felt I was outside looking in on you
You were always the mysterious one
with dark eyes and careless hair,
You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care
Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
besides some comment on the weather
Well in case you failed to notice,
In case you failed to see,
This is my heart bleeding before you,
This is me down on my knees
These foolish games are tearing me apart
You thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
You were always brilliant in the morning
Smoking your cigarettes, talking over coffee
You philosophies on art, Baroque moved you,
You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar
You'd teach me of honest things
Things that were daring, things that were clean
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean
So I hid my soiled hands behind my back
Somewhere along the line I must've gone off track with you
Excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn,
Somebody more like myself
These foolish games are tearing me apart
You thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
You took off your coat and stood in the rain
you were always like that

2) Train-Drops of Jupiter

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey
Tell me did you sail across the sunDid you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there
Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there's time to grow, hey, hey
Now that she's back in the atmosphere
I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' Jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way

Notice that they both mention Mozart and coffee drinks in cringe-inducing ways. I think Train is probably pulling ahead. But what do you think?

Is anything going on this weekend that I should know about? I haven't hear about anything.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

no fucking way

this can't be real read all the way to the end. nice to see i got someone laid. that's always a good feeling.

Anna K.

Originally uploaded by becklerg.

Which Anna K. do you prefer? And don't say Kournikova.

I just posted this because it's fun to look at pretty ladies.

if you're interested...

Rachel Leibrock did some analysis of the media coverage of the flood on her blog today and then some guy posted something self-righteous and annoying and we both posted about that.


Also, the fug post on Mickey Rourke is unusually funny.

aruba, jamaica, ooh i wanna take ya

Looks like the spam is back. Excellent.

On the chick list Liv has related that she has gotten a bunch of the people who stole her and Tim's stuff (I almost accidentally wrote "crap"-how rude!) arrested and now the police have advised her to stay out of Oak Park!!! That fucking sucks. And they didn't get hardly any stuff back. Someone should organize a benefit show. And that someone is Charles.

How was Lyme Regis?

Kickball Katy has issued a press release:

so tonight, the Sacramento Midtown Mob Squad will be playing the Denver Kickball Coalition.those crazy nuts bought a van and are on a nation wide kickball tour. two days ago was Salt Lake City. today, they'll feel the Sacramento, if you feel like advertising, that'd be awesome. if you want to show up, that'd beeven better. 21st and C. 6pm.we'll likely go drinking afterwards.

It's nice to be invited, but I'm going to the new Moroccan place tonight for Anna's bday, so I can't attend.

Speaking of Anna, she's the one who told me about the Sub Shack's new life. New owner, now they serve breakfast. I have to check this out. Supposedly the new guy is going to keep the old recipes, but just add stuff to the menu. This could be the best of all possible worlds (that is a weird expression now that I write it), because I've known for a while that the owner wanted to retire and I've lived in fear that it would become a Starbucks or something and the patio would be lost. So if he keeps the turkey sandwich the same but has extended hours, and if (dare to dream) the breakfasts are good it's almost like someone said "heckasac, how would you like me to change the Sub Shack so that it can become perfect". I'll try to go this weekend.

I don't have the patience to reformat these lyrics right now, but I wanted to print the lyrics to Kokomo, because I heard it on my way to work this morning and it was driving me nuts that there's a part that sounds like Mike Love (dick) is saying, "I want to make blah blah blah rotten steak" and I KNEW that couldn't be right. Turns out he's saying (and the Bananas already know this) To martinique, that monserrat mystique.

Aruba, jamaica ooo I wanna take you
Bermuda, bahama come on pretty mama
Key largo, montego baby why don’t we goJamaica
Off the florida keys
There’s a place called kokomo
That’s where you wanna go to get away from it all
Bodies in the sand
Tropical drink melting in your hand
We’ll be falling in love
To the rhythm of a steel drum band
Down in kokomo
Aruba, jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To bermuda, bahama come on pretty mama
Key largo, montego baby why don’t we go
Ooo I wanna take you down to kokomo
We’ll get there fast
And then we’ll take it slow
That’s where we wanna go
Way down to kokomo
To martinique, that monserrat mystique
We’ll put out to sea
And we’ll perfect our chemistry
By and by we’ll defy a little bit of gravity
Afternoon delight
Cocktails and moonlit nights
That dreamy look in your eye
Give me a tropical contact high
Way down in kokomo
Aruba, jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To bermuda, bahama come on pretty mama
Key largo, montego baby why don’t we go
Ooo I wanna take you down to kokomo
We’ll get there fast
And then we’ll take it slow
That’s where we wanna go
Way down to kokomo
Port au prince
I wanna catch a glimpse
Everybody knows
A little place like kokomo
Now if you wanna go
And get away from it all
Go down to kokomo
Aruba, jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To bermuda, bahama come on pretty mama
Key largo, montego baby why don’t we go
Ooo I wanna take you down to kokomo
We’ll get there fast
And then we’ll take it slow
That’s where we wanna go
Way down to kokomo
Aruba, jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To bermuda, bahama come on pretty mamaKey largo, montego baby why don’t we go
Ooo I wanna take you down to kokomo