The dirty thirty party was superfun, but there was no orgy. There was: an attractive yet somewhat boring stripper, lots of dancing, a few surprising hookups, at least one after-party booty call, and a surprise dancefloor hit in a house remix of "satellite of love". FUN.
The next morning (well, afternoon, really), I woke up to a splitting headache and some mild nausea. Obviously, if a doctor was present she would have prescribed a superbowl sunday wake-and-bake but because no doctor was present, I had to administer it to myself. That did the trick and I proceeded to eat my way through the rest of the day with: a bagel with lox, tons of homemade guacamole, and at least two bowls of Vince's four alarm superbowl chili. Although due to the effects of my medication I had a hard time following what was going on, the commercials seemed to mostly be duds, and the half-time show was the worst thing ever. D.P. disagrees and thinks it was the best thing ever. Who's right? Me, obviously. They wheeled papa McCartney out of his crypt and oiled his creaky joints before the performance. Everyone agreed that if they were gonna resort to the Dinosaurs of Rock to avoid any nip-slippage that the Rolling Stones would have been a better choice. There was an obvious (as Jerry Reynolds would say) missed opportunity when Axl Rose did not come out to special guest during "Live and Let Die" (see, this proves how I'm right because D.P. used the lack of special guests as a reason that this was a good half-time show. It is not a half-time show without a special guest. Remember during the Raiders Superbowl when Sting came out to sing with Gwen Stefani? Everyone on the couch almost peed their pants. Because they were under the spell of a good half-time show. ) We were all fervently praying that he would not sing "Hey Jude" and when the opening notes rang out, a collective groan was heard. Next year I think they should bring back the dynamic duo of Rob Lowe and Snow White singing "Proud Mary". I know it was from the Oscars, but it has the appropriate weirdness that a half-time show should have.
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23 comments:
Keep in mind I'm adhering to the 2005 rule that "not as bad as it could've been" is the new good, but I kinda liked ol' Paul's performance. It was pretty telling that everyone in the room was going "is he really singing & playing?". Like it's so crazy that someone can actually sing & play their songs. I loved when he said "thank you super bowl - we love you!". Perhaps Sir Paul falls in love a little too easily in his old age! Of course Hey Jude was groan-inducing but you KNEW he was gonna play it. Hasn't it somehow been deemed the best Beatles song - at least it was when I was 12 & listening to KHYL's Beatles countdown. I really wanted the special guest to be Ringo.
miller
tom brady=finest man in football
(although I kind of wish he would have kept the beard, not because I like beards, but because I think it's really weird that a football player would have a beard in this day and age. Maybe he secretly loves noise bands.)
Heather
don't you find it odd that the superbowl, an uber-american event, turns to the british for a non-controversial half-time show? i mean, couldn't they have stuck tim mcgraw up there with his wife and gotten the majority of folks in the audience to sing along? maybe tony blair cut a deal with GW on this one as a last ditch effort to get the brits behind their prime minister before Gordon Brown usurps his position? the whole thing made no sense and I felt like throwing up when the crowd spelled out NAW in red white and blue with their seat cushions. The least Paul could've done is give a nod to his wife by brining a bunch of war orphans and handicapped kids up on stage with him. . . .
I half watched it so i could be cool with both groups (half time show rules, half time show sucks). I was just waiting for Paul (or special guest) to go off on the end part; doing the "Judy-judy, judy-jude-jude" thing.
-touchdownssinger
Paul was the best halftime show I've ever seen in 2 decades of watching the Super Bowl.
1) He played and sang.
2) He played entire songs, rather than 30 seconds of a dozen songs.
3) He kept it focused: rock and fireworks. No orchestra, no childrens chorus, no sign-language chorus, and no fucking guests! I almost soiled myself during the Sting-Stefani duet as well, but that's only because the excruciating pain was causing my sphincter muscles to relax.
It seems as though the only argument against Paul's show is that it wasn't a bloated, self-inflating pile of shit. And are you fucking hipsters so infatuated with your own sense of self-superiority that you can't even appreciate "Hey Jude" anymore? Life isn't all sushi rolls and gang bangs, folks.
I agree DB, and I don't even like the beatles,
(Please don't everyone boo me at once)
My life is actually never sushi rools and gangbangs,
well the first occasionally and the latter never ever.
maybe there should be a hipster/superbowl/art show/ gang bang next year.
-Natalie.
Woah. I assume you're joking about the self-superiority part. I've never liked "Hey Jude" but like everyone else in the world I like the Beatles. I also like Wings and love Paul McCartney's solo albums. But it's still not what I look for in a superbowl halftime show, which is complete silliness and spectacle. I feel kind of alone out here, but I can assure you that everyone in the room agreed with me. I was just trying to be funny.
I keep re-reading db's comment and feeling a little ill. Is that really directed at me?
becky,
i agree with you. i love the beatles and i love paul mccartney--i really think he's an amazing song writer. i do like to take a stab at him occasionally because he's a bit pompous but after seeing his really solid performance, i'd almost shell out the bucks to see him in concert one of these days. but, this is the superbowl. they should've put someone else up on that stage. and they needed a medley or a motorcycle or some acrobats. i want american cheese during half time, not a tasteful performance by a british dude. the superbowl is about crass pleasures and i want to see tits and midgets. it doesn't mean i'm lacking in sentimentality, it's just that i want my hot dog on a bun, not a bap.
Apparently, people look for different things in the halftime show, but that's no reason to be so fucking mean! It's totally okay to groan when "Hey Jude" comes on, and even if you don't think so, that's no reason to call someone a sushi-eating, gang-banging hipster! Especially when you know very well they are way radder than that description implies.
-michele
I think we're overlooking the larger picture here. Remember about how it's not okay to make fun of little people anymore? Please don't make fun of little people or overweight people or old people. Hipsters are always open season! (this last part is a joke, not being mean)
Love, little-person loving Heather
You're right heather. It's not nice to make fun of little people. I take back what I said about wanting to see midgets at the super bowl. That probably would have broken my heart, actually. Thanks for keeping me in line. I can be a bit mean sometimes.
First swingers, now hipsters. Where is it going to end? Where is BeNjI HoOtEr when you need him/her/it?
-Anon
As usual, my passion on an insignificant topic was misplaced. None of my comments were meant to be directed at anyone personally or generally or even theoretically, but if anyone would like a personal apology or financial reparations, just give me a call. The "gangbang" comment was a reference to this blog's numerous groupsex references (which I realize is different, but not as dirty sounding and doesn't rhyme).
That's cool. Don't sweat it. I was just afraid that I personally pissed you off. I swear, I like McCartney! I even listen to Emmitt Rhodes, who's more McCartney than McCartney. And if I'm not mistaken, I thought I saw some left-over sushi in the fridge the other day, DB.
Best string of comments ever.
I'm laughing so hard i'm crying.
-Heckamax
Dp wants to write something. We are both in the Tower office laughing our butts off. Okay. Here's DP
I mustcop to something. I was in fact having a gangbang with Dan's sushi during Sir Pauls performance, so maybe I can't judge it quite so well...also the mescallin
I'm glad you guys can at least get a laugh out of my pain.
I'm not sure what we'd do for laughter without your pain, Becky. And the world needs mirth...
i really wanted a Nelly and Tim McGraw duet myself.
and god bless Natalie, for not really liking the Beatles either.
God doesn't bless you for not liking the Beatles, he damns you to eternal hellfire...but I'm splitting hairs again.
Paul McCartney is one of those amputee fetish perverts. He specifally craves BKA (Below Knee Amputation) chicks. Sicko.
--phantom limb
Even if that were true (which I doubt) that wouldn't make him any more sick than anyone else who dates people of a certain physical type.
Yes, it's true. A friend of a friend of one his roadies said Sir Paul was caught jacking off to amateur amputee porn zines in his trailer just before he was to go onstage. It had an article on how to find and contact shadetree "doctors" for voluntary amputations in Mexico.
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