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2005
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August
(95)
- cute!
- mustache
- the stick?
- spazzy bands that don't try hard enough
- public service announcement
- death watch for bridges on the river
- wild west stee
- great american pony ride
- Port Costa ghost story
- herzog interview
- best picture ever!
- wow
- search term
- god it's my first post of the week and i already c...
- cant think of another fucking heading sorry
- an appeal to all readers
- another stolen link
- too much
- i can't resist a trashy tara reid picture
- Euroslide.com
- cool
- grosser than gross
- ROUND 2!!!
- wake up
- 4 simple things
- I'm Cumming
- This morning at Peet's...
- m.i.a.
- I ate there so you don't have to
- press release from Charles
- song
- Dirty MC
- ouch
- debate on, dude
- jew, not a jew
- tango of death
- remember the alhambra ('s small coffee cup lids)
- eugene
- crest mc
- nigella!
- i hate mondays
- tonight, tonight
- west nile, day four
- fucking spam
- Caddyshack Party!
- west nile, day three
- Say it: "Do Spray It!"
- boo!
- you asked, i answer
- manic movie monday
- stuff and bother
- video link
- Four eyes NSFW
- movie tonight
- exciting link
- no whining
- blah
- mysterious mystery post
- feh
- boner!
- Owie
- oh tara!-hey that's a good knack song
- guess who's back?
- I BELIEVE YOU!!
- blind item
- davis show tonight
- what's not to like?
- a few points
- out like k.d. lang?
- benji hooter
- keeping you abreast of the situation
- FF show
- m.i.a. pics
- lates
- look at all these rumors
- gorly holes
- lacey underall
- Scabs!
- new bbq review
- who dat on my party barge?!
- new club night report?
- nada
- wolf lady
- guiletta
- marcello!
- press release
- stolen link
- keep your hands off my dosa
- Mika miko
- weekend hijinks
- david cross vs. nic
- open letter
- my face is red
- Benji sold out!
- lame
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August
(95)
About Me
22 comments:
would it be jumping the gun to tell you that Kiedis is on my party barge?
-biz
let's begin:
richard dawson's on my party barge. i can't wait to get drunkenly groped by dawson. he can't hold his mai tais for shit. and phyllis diller whips up a mean mai tai. which is why she's on my party barge, obviously.
also on my party barge: charles manson and dennis wilson, jamming for all eternity. mel lyman tries to climb on but even manson is freaked out by his trip and we kick him off.
One name:
Diamond David Lee Roth.
-Heckamax
Chuck Barris is on my party barge, but his pants are not. Liberace tickles the ivories while Telly Savalis and Shatner sing a duet of “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”. Meanwhile, Leonard Nimoy sits in the corner softly whispering sweet nothings into the ear of a visibly stoned Jaclyn Smith.
-Biz
on my party barge: all of motorhead (i hear they still trash the green roon), woody allen, elton john, a bunch of show dogs, and jesus.
who's that swimming up? he's got an eyepatch and a gold grill...why it's slick rick. welcome to the party barge!
he immediately high fives russell and russell slaps goldie on the ass and tells her to go get his old buddy rick a mai tai
My party barge was totaly awsome, dave chappelle was burnin' some sweet buddah, freddie mercury kept having sex, dionysos brought some delicious surat, sadly we got overun by a group of pillaging Turks, again! God damnit , every weekend this happens and frankly I've had it.
“I’m sooooo drunk,” says Jaye P. Morgan, but no one pays attention to her except Adam West. A push up contest breaks out between Jack Palance, with Goldie Hawn on his back and Ricardo Montelban with Sammy Davis Jr. on his. Norris and Bronson begin arm wrestling for the right to be called “Chuck”. No one has seen Bill Holden in awhile. Poitier stops by briefly before declaring, “this is not my kind of party at all” and storms out, dragging a reluctant Cos by the hand.
-Biz
Well if Sammy's there then you know he's gonna bring Anton Lavey along and Lavey will make it weird for everyone by trying to start a stupid black mass. He just better not try to bring Linda Lovelace. I hate that bitch.
p.s.-Somebody should go look for Bill Holden. I've heard he's prone to falling and he was three sheets to the wind when I last saw him.
p.p.s.-Chapelle's pissed because Bob Mitchum smoked all the weed.
p.p.p.s-Gross! Now Linda Lovelace is trying to fuck Benji while Morris watches. I told you not to let that slut on the boat.
That slut Lovelace! She was overheard bragging that she'd "banged three generations of Carradines".
-Biz
"Diamond David Lee Roth" is technically four names. And technically. Technically.
charles
Nelly is my party barge.
sorry, that's all i have right now. Nelly.
Biz and I just spotted Kiedis and Milton Berle walking around with socks on their cocks! Uncle Miltie is down for the kids.
Shit It's the cops, hide that joint Sutherland! No wait, it's just Robocop and he brought The Jams!
-Biz
Oh my god, Sutherland's here? I am so gonna bang him in the engine room.
Hey Bert and Sally just showed up. I'm glad to see they got back together.
Aw shit! I can't believe I came so late to the party barge. I just saw Rip Taylor and Ruth Buzzy at Albertson's and they were buying about 40 cans of whipped cream to bring to the barge and so I just tagged along.
-Connie
I heard Buzzy and Phyllis Diller are planning a whipped cream bikini wrestling match. I can't wait. My money's on Buzzy.
Goddamnit! I just tried to talk to Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly and they totally snubbed me. Those Match Game bitches are so cliquey. Who do they think they are?
I say it a lot, but this is the funniest thing I have ever read.
and laughter does not come easily in the silent library.
head
head-
who's on your party barge? i bet swayze's dying for an invitation
George Kennedy and Shelley Winters arrived, but I have to tell them to stand at opposite sides of the boat if it is to remain upright. Now worries, because Karen Black is going down on George and Shelley picked the side with the bar. Oh I forgot, both sides have a bar. The other Kennedy (Ted, natch) is running from one end to the other in an attempt to bartend both of them.
sac-
You have clearly grasped the idea of the party barge.
Don't look now, but Ernie Borgnine is making a serious play for Clara "Where's the beef" Peller.
Where the fuck is Natalie Wood going in the dinghy and why is she wearing that down jacket? Her and Wagner must have gotten in another fight.
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