Tuesday, March 21, 2006

peep off is on

I'm totally busy today. It sucks. Here's a press release regarding the 2006 peep-off:

Alrighty then,
This years Peep Off will be held on Sunday, April 23rd. NOT SATURDAY the 22nd. I'm performing a wedding on Saturday. Old Man Foster and LivMoe won't get hitched at the Peep Off because OMF doesn't have a tin foil suit. And everyone knows that to get married at the Peep Off you need a tin foil suit. Once again, there's been more rumors of someone coming out to film it. Who knows, but be prepared. If you think they'll use their camera to steal your soul, you're right. So sell your soul to the Devil so you can beat Dennis Gross' record of 102. In a peepshell, it's at my house in lovely midtown Sacramento (basically 19th & Capitol). Bring a diorama and a costume or something. Send out this email to whomever -- there's a ton of people on the Peep Off list that I don't know. I'll start it at 2pm (which means 3pm), but I'll have the BBQ going at 2pm. With a bit of luck, I will get an armadillo that Skipper said he'd BBQ. No joke. Beckysac heard a rumor you can buy them ready to cook in San Francisco! The best thing is, 5% of armadillos carry leprosy. I'm already laughing. This isn't a joke, by the way. As Cecil Adams says, "Fewer than 5 percent of wild armadillos have it, though I grant you that 5 percent of 30 to 50 million is a lot of armadillos". http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a990219.html Please remember that I won't talk to media within a 2 hour radius of Sacramento. I don't want a bunch of jerks showing up and I'm not going to get a permit for Peep Eating Gluttony. Without the element of peep riots, arrests and leprosy, what's the point of eating sugar coated marshmallow goodness? In this, Our Post 9/11 Days, who's to say what's "right" and what's "wrong"? Diabetes never hurt anyone but police batons leave an ouchie. There's more of the same nonsense at: http://nokilli.com/peeps Make sure you take a good look at this one, too: http://www.nokilli.com/food/peep_warning.htm The peep_warning.htm page is safe for work, but it clicking the link leads to "Ack!". For women, it can also lead to a nasty yeast infection. --Archbishop Dave uh... "Smith"

Hey Dave, the armadillo was spotted at SF Market on 65th and Stockton, not in SF. It's right here in Sac.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

And here I was confused by SF Market to be San Francisco.

They're cheap, so leprosy for everyone!

mt.st.mtn. said...

you can get the 'dillo in Chinatown on Stockton Street where the markets are. there's one place in particular that always had it, the same place that resembled a pet store 'cause they had so many frogs, turtles, etc. in tubs on the street (its close to where stockton hits broadway i think). once jay howell and i were on our way back to my apartment via the bus and passed this place, the old rich-looking north beach lady sitting next to us leaned over on a crowded bus and went "THOSE people will eat ANYTHING". wtf?

Anonymous said...

That is so awesome that they have armadillos at SF Market! No more two hour drive to get my fix. I hope Dave gets one of the spicy-hot, bright orange pre-cooked ones. They always look like they've been hanging there for about 5 years.

I already asked Dave, but does anyone know if anyone sells lampreys? If the armadillo is a hit, perhaps next year's challenge can be the 'prey.

Anonymous said...

I just saw 2 of them on ice at the store next to my new favorite dim sum joint on stockton, just about a block south of stockton and fruitridge on the left. The dim sum joint is so rad, It looks like the triads are gonna bust into it at any point.

Don't forget to pick up a pack of "hell cash", Where else can you get 1 million dollars for 2.49 cents, and yam yam is on sale for 40 cents.

Anonymous said...

Smif wrote:
>http://www.nokilli.com/food/peep_warning.htm

Mmmmmmmm...saggy titty stretch marks and ingrown pubes. That's titz, dood!!!!

--riki titty tavi